


Codeword

by RavenaVrei



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A LOT of Angst, AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual fluff and smut, F/F, F/M, I know nothing about hacking, Kylo is the man overseeing her final project, Like straight up porn sometimes, M/M, Pre-Palpatine, Rey is a hacker trying to put her bad past behind her, Reylo - Freeform, Such bad communication
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:42:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 51,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23960263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenaVrei/pseuds/RavenaVrei
Summary: Desperate to find answers to her past, Rey accepts a dangerous job, butting heads with Snoke’s right hand man, Kylo Ren.
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	1. Crossing Paths

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this before TRoS but wanted to finish it anyway. In this, Luke is kinda terrible and therefore mostly absent. Most of my characterization is footloose and fancy free but hope y’all enjoy it anyway!

Ragged breaths break the silence of night. Rey awakes harshly and turns on her bedroom lamp. She sits at the edge of her bed, head between her knees, willing her body to calm. Whatever she was dreaming, she can’t recall. It’s like running her hands through mist, gone in a flash. Nothing sticks; nothing but the feelings of dread and anxiety that accompany her continuous nightmares. The panic she’s felt all her life. Likely this nightmare was like the rest, she’s wandering the woods, hungry, exhausted and beyond frightened. Or she’s bouncing between foster homes, every singular experience a misery until she ended up at Unckar Plutt’s, where she learned the true meaning of suffering.

“That’s behind you now... get over it” It comes out as a whisper, a plea to herself.

It takes a few moments before her heartbeat evens out and she stands. Looking back, her sheets are soaked through with nervous sweat. She gathers the linen in her arms and throws them in the wash. No going back to bed now.

She checks the time, it’s 4:45 A.M. “I’m awake if you’re awake. BB?”

A little Calico cat ambles up sleepily and rubs against her ankle before leaving to plop down on the plush cat bed by the kitchen. Rey follows and goes straight for the coffee pot. Once she’s got her favorite mug filled, which is in fact only her favorite because it’s gargantuan, she lazily checks her email at her kitchen table.

Her work allows her tons of free time, which she never takes advantage of. It allows her to choose who she works with, which is fine, because she prefers to work alone. Software engineering has never exclusively been a team sport anyway. Writing code easily pays the bills while she figures her life out. She’s been at this for a few years now. It was a surprise to be considered for in house positions she considered to be lucrative at first. Until she balked at the idea of being leader of an entire team and started freelancing. Finding a niche in digital security systems was exceptionally fruitful, especially since breaking into them was how she first made her money. Picking up jobs at her leisure is how she prefers it, she can work anywhere with a good internet connection.

After a brief read of today’s news and some goofing around on the internet, she starts reading her emails. Mostly it’s deadlines and call reminders, except for a gravely serious request to meet this evening. Sent late last night. It’s from a name she doesn’t recognize, but the company itself stands out... First Order. It’s not strange for a telecommunications company to be contacting her, but the short message she’s just received leaves her skin feeling clammy.

_Ms. Niima,_

_Word of your expertise has crossed my path again and again. Your unparalleled talent has left many of my colleagues grateful and in your debt. I desire to strike a bargain that will hopefully be beneficial to us both._

_My reach is boundless, and I would be willing to pay you in much more than money. I believe I may have something you are in search of._

_One hour of your time. Tonight at 8pm, Imperial on 52nd. Your name will be left at the door._

_Wilfred Snoke_

_CEO_

_First Order_

Why would he email her himself? She only ever talks to HR types and development teams. Occasionally other teams get involved for big projects, but this type of work was routine. No, this is different. What else does he know about her?

Her mind wanders to darker thoughts.

Unckar gloated that her parents were nobodies, that she was nothing but trouble and that’s why she was left in the forest starving and close to death. He loved to beat it into her, let her know that the only love she would ever have was his. She wraps her arms around herself, where he would grab her with his meaty hands at any trace of defiance. His ideas of love kept her from asking too many questions before. Better to have terrible lies, than to have a harsher truth; better to have some sense of safety than punishment. At 27, fear can’t keep her away any longer. This could be her chance for some answers.

A few hours and three coffee cups later, it’s still only 7:15 A.M. A deep dive has provided few details about Snoke or First Order. Definitely nothing to give her leverage for her potential meeting.

Her foot taps an anxious rhythm and she knows she needs to move.

Rey slips into her usual casual attire, anything she can find to wear with her Birkenstocks and denim jacket. Today, it’s a green tank jumpsuit.

“Catch you later, bud. Don’t throw any parties while I’m out.” She pecks a sleepy BB on the head and heads out for the day. Being home for too long can oftentimes be suffocating but sunshine always makes her happy.

Across town it sounds like someone is in anguish.

A clang of iron rings through the halls, with a terrible groan to accompany it.

“AAAAGGHH!”

The weighted bar lands back into place, Kylo Ren is exhausted but exhilarated after surpassing his usual bench press by an additional 10 pounds. It’s a fleeting triumph, as he wipes his forehead and moves to the floor. His sweat drips on the mat as he aligns his body parallel to the floor in a straight line. Once in push up position, he moves his hands closer in front of his chest to put more emphasis on his triceps and finish strong.

Once he’s in the shower, his thoughts turn to the rest of the day. In an instant, the endorphins melt away. He’s gotta face Snoke first thing this morning, his mood sours at the thought.

“Shit.” He turns the water off in a huff.

At first he was excited to rise through the ranks of his company, thrilled to be singled out as Snoke’s protege. As the years passed, he came to regret his once eager acceptance of the role. These days he was known as Snoke’s right hand man, his deadliest weapon. Slowly, he was groomed and isolated from the world. Under his direction, Kylo became capable of depraved acts, Snoke’s trusted crony. Once he had Snoke’s confidence, Kylo had the power of the First Order behind him, second only to Snoke, and everyone feared him for it. It was far too late when Kylo realized how much power over himself had been relinquished to Snoke. How he gave away his autonomy for control, how his morality had turned ambiguous at his behest, how harsh and bloodthirsty he strived to be for his master. Too far gone into darkness before realizing his deep well of self hatred was threatening to drown him.

He looks like Death wearing nearly all black except for his dark grey dress shirt. He moves through his apartment like a wraith, haunting instead of inhabiting it.

It’s 8:20 A.M. when he makes it to work. He picks up some espresso across the street then stands before the high rise with First Order emblazoned across the top. First and foremost, a telecommunications titan.

He knows that’s what makes this business legitimate, totally viable on paper. It’s very possible that the company could even possibly thrive without the hive of scum and villainy that lurks beneath that veneer. The terrorist network Snoke so intricately carved upon this world. Providing criminals with intelligence, safe passage, weapons and much more importantly, a hidden way for them all to contact one another. A network to bring the world to chaos.

With a scowl on his face, he lumbers in.

Everyone that sees him, scurries away like mice. Away from whatever attention he might give them. Nobody says hello or good morning, no smiles or waves. People lower their heads, knowing they could be called into Mr. Ren’s office to report. Many times his shouts have rung throughout the entire floor with reprimands so loud they most always end in tears.

“Heard he’s on the warpath lately,” a feminine voice whispers.

Another voice pipes in, “He fired Cannady yesterday in front of the entire floor, and his wife just had a baby.”

“He needs to get laid.” Muffled giggles follow but he’s too far away.

He makes it to his office just in time to down his espresso, and head to Snoke’s conference room. Kylo walks down the hall and pauses for a breath before pushing past the heavy doors.

“Mr. Ren, sit.”

Snoke stands near the floor length windows at the end of the room, not moving an inch until Kylo sits.

“Skywalker Corp. is breathing down my back, just yesterday they compromised our newest safe house. If I had gotten a hold of their intel, they’d have quite the story for The Twin Suns Tribune. This will cost them dearly.” He points his steely gaze at Kylo. “The question is, what will you do to make up for the crimes of your blood?”

“They are not my family. I’ve given everything to you, to First Order.” His breath huffs out, desperate to believe his own words. Kylo’s eyes darken. “If they want ruin, we will give it to them.”

Snoke sits at the head of the conference table, never taking his eyes off of Kylo. “I hope you prove yourself worthy of being my successor. No one, not even you, has ever faced such a task. You’ll find your success their ruin.”

A knock at the door focuses Kylo back in the present; he takes notice of the men and women filing into the conference room. Snoke’s latest merger with Scarif Mobile Ltd. is stalling before even starting, that’s why he brought Kylo Ren in. His most trusted associate, and most feared enforcer.

Kylo leads the meeting and lays out his plan for the merger, firmly and directly. Too intimidating to invite argument from his captive audience.Except one weaselly litigator that insists they must have severance packages for any surplus personnel, and map out a clear timeline for First Order to absorb their company smoothly. He withers under Kylo’s intense gaze.

He pinches the bridge of his nose before relenting. “Your lawyers have a month to come up with a complete timeline with all caveats plainly stated. Our legal team will then examine it, and amend where we deem necessary.Next meeting will be held in six weeks.”

Effectively dismissing the executives, Kylo stands and turns to leave closely behind Snoke.

“Yes, sir.” He hears the man say as the doors close behind them.

“Kylo,” he hears Snoke say, “meet with me later today regarding Skywalker. We need to act quickly.”

He stands there as Snoke walks away, disappearing behind the ornate doors that lead to his private office.

Heading back to his office he can think of only one thing. I’m so fucked. How can he bring down the multigenerational empire he’s swiftly abdicated? He can’t keep his thoughts from straying to his family, and his rage bubbles up in his throat as a haughty voice interrupts it.

“Is Snoke’s favorite boy toy headed out for lunch?” He whirls around to find Armitage Hux sneering at him. A man he can hardly stand and is forced to work with every other day. A rabid cur with a permanent brown spot on his nose.

“You know, Hux, that might be a bit more insulting if you didn’t sound so fucking jealous.” Kylo spits at him acidly and hands him a stack of papers. “Snoke wants these sent to legal, we need a preemptive deal drafted BEFORE Scarif has a chance to send theirs.”

Kylo puts his hand on Hux’s shoulder and raises his voice. “Better hurry, Armie. Snoke’s dick is getting cold without the constant warmth of your mouth.”

He walks away, leaving Hux red faced and seething.

In his office, Kylo watches his subordinates stroll by. Happy people with lives of their own, while he’s stuck in a prison of his own making.

He gave up his family, their secrets and everything he could to Snoke. For an ounce of power. Now he’s to sacrifice the last part of his soul that feels any connection to his family.

“No, they’re nothing to me.” He fists his jacket in hand and exits the building in a hurry.

Rey strolls through the park near her apartment before walking in the door of her favorite coffee shop, Rebel Brew. It has a little patio and her best and only friend, Rose, is a barista there most mornings.

A petite, dark haired woman beams, “Hey! Is my Rey of sunshine here to visit me?”

“Of course not, I’m here for free coffee”

An even bigger grin spreads across Rose’s face as Rey sets her bag down at the bar.

“I’m so lucky you’re working today, I need the distraction.” Rey groans loudly.

Rose quirks up her eyebrow. “Please, I’m on to what you’re doing.”

“What?!”

“You’re gonna come in here and let me chat you up about my drama so you can procrastinate. We can catch up later this week. I could finally take you out, like I threatened I would.”

There’s a small silence between them. Rey squeezes her eyes shut, and Rose reaches across the bar for her hand.

“Hon, we both know what you’re putting off. You said at the end of this quarter you would renegotiate your contracts and take time off... you know.. do a bit of soul searching? You told me yourself that deadline is day after tomorrow and you can’t do that if you don’t finish your work on time.”

Rey opens one eye to look at her friend, and sighs. “I have conference calls to take care of that later. I just don’t know that I’m ready, what’s the point?”

Rose steps away for a moment and comes back with a latte in hand.

“You want answers, you need time to find them. It’s going to be tough, but you can do it, ” Rose states before continuing, “and if you need to destress, I’m always around for a drink. Or I can finally drag you out with me one weekend.” She has a shit eating grin when she drops that last suggestion.

“Thank you, Ro.”

“I know... now get back to work.” She whips a kitchen towel over her shoulder and goes to help a new customer.

Rey grabs her latte and bag before heading out to sit below the umbrella on the patio. She brings up what’s left of her remote work. Fine tuning and getting the bugs out of the firewall software she was commissioned to develop a few years back for a private security agency. Every few months she does routine maintenance on it. Faceless corporate conglomerates and rich crackpots are the majority of her clientele. Update the entire surveillance program on the posh mansion upstate, beef up security for a doomsday bunker; the work varies within its own minutiae.

Noon comes and goes before she finishes up and cracks her knuckles obnoxiously. “Easy does it.”

She has to admit to herself that Rose is right, she’s been avoiding this easy work as an excuse. Easy work is a sad term for it. Coding raised her out of poverty. Teaching herself to code on the public library computers, learning to build them then finally running away from Unckar when she was 16, Rey did that. She waited tables, and fixed computers to put herself through community college. Young Rey wouldn’t give up, she wouldn’t be afraid. Determined to face her demons, Rey stuffs everything back in her bag. She strolls back through the coffee shop, leaves Rose a big tip while she’s not looking and waves goodbye.

Kylo steps out into the sunlit courtyard and sighs in relief. The confines of his dull office space make him angry. He needs room to pace, room to plan. A few streets over, he finds a dive. He checks his wrist for the time, it’s a little before 3. Once inside he notices a few patrons already seated inside, far from the sunlight dripping in. There’s a few TVs on, sports are playing. The bar is wide open and he sits in the middle of it, like he’s been here before.

He flags the bartender down. “Double whiskey, neat.” His voice carries a deep tremble.

“Got it.” The bartender pours him a generous drink.

Kylo raises the glass to his lips and gulps down half of it. Surely Snoke expects him to fail, to falter when it comes to his family. No plan will be Machiavellian enough for Snoke. Any sign of weakness will result in humiliation. He swallows the remaining half of his drinks and taps the glass for a refill.

He notices his hands shaking slightly, why is this intimidating him so terribly? This should delight him, the culmination of his pain and hard work shaped into the man he’s always wanted to be. Once his family is out of Snoke’s way, he’ll have full control. Maybe the old man will finally retire, pick up a young wife and leave him in charge. He lingers on that thought.

He’s lying to himself, he knows it. Snoke will be his boss until one of them drops dead.

He finishes his drink and grunts at the bartender, “You! One more.” The glower on the man’s face goes unnoticed by Kylo, who’s focused on the flood of brown liquid hitting his glass.

Whatever he comes up with will have to break his family, the bonds they share. Rumor has it Leia is on the market for her own company. Luke’s escapade with insider trading cost them the majority of their shares, Leia was their saving grace. Everyone’s Mother Teresa, as always. She leveraged for a percentage of their shares to go directly to her. Luke has been barred from serving as executive of any publicly traded company for life. Now all she has left is to prove herself, to have her family name rechristened with dignity. If she were to fall from grace, that would bury his entire family in the dirt. Frame her for forgery, embezzlement, or tax evasion. All three if he never has to think of them again.

Another whiskey neat goes down the hatch, his liquid lunch will have be cut short. He’ll have to meet with Snoke soon, the last thing he wants is to stumble in incompetently drunk.

He grabs a handful of peanuts, and slaps down some money before exiting.

The walk back to his office is hellacious, between the heat, the drinks and his empty stomach, his mood has soured. People nearly dive out of his way as he stalks through the floor. Good, he thinks. He has better things to do than snap these morons into line.

Opening the door to his office is a relief, he reaches for the water pitcher and pours himself a giant glass. It’s gone in a couple of swallows, and he doesn’t know how long he sits at his desk before he hears a knock on his door.

Phasma, Snoke’s solemn PA, slowly steps inside. “Ren, he’s ready for you.” Her mouth is a firm line. Kylo looks toward her and she nods in acknowledgement before leaving as fast as she slipped in.

He straightens his tie, pushes his hair back and heads toward Snoke’s office. Hux exits the office at the end of the hall, and throws Kylo an icy sneer as he passes by.

Walking into Snoke’s office is meant to be intimidating. His desk is marginally raised above any who may sit before him. Dark colors adorn every square inch, the light of day feels alien in this room.

Kylo strolls into the room, and stands between the two chairs before Snoke. “Sir.”

“Kylo Ren.” He draws outs the name as he speaks it. “Are you aware your mother has scraped together a meager force to investigate First Order? I feel like a common criminal, it’s all a bit silly.“ Snoke grimaces down his nose at Kylo.

Kylo stares at him impassively.

“She found the safe house in Coruscant but we had a head start to vacate it. Nothing incriminating left behind, nothing but rubbish. Even so, things should never have gotten this far.” Snoke resumes talking in the same breath.

“A mole”? Kylo questions.

“I’ve commanded Hux to scour every department and fire one person from each. Although he is revolting, a rabid dog like him can sniff out a rat.”

He regards Kylo intently, taking in his appearance and scowling.

Kylo’s throat bobs before speaking. “An operative of our own might be the solution.”

“Is that the great plan you concocted on your boozy lunch?”

That catches Kylo off guard. “..Yes, n-no!”

“YOUR BREATH STINKS OF LIQUOR! Any mention of your family sends you into a tailspin.” Snoke spits at his feet. “Pathetic. Perhaps your alliances are the ones to question.”

Kylo stiffens but carries on, not taking the bait. “An operative nobody here knows a thing about. Not to infiltrate the workforce, but infiltrate the system. Plant the information you need, let it fester. Leia’s trying to broker a deal with two of her board members. They want capital for a new company, their small bundle of shares together is enough to push her into majority ownership and finally turn Skywalker Corp. around.If we time it correctly, she’ll have to watch her entire life crumble in her hands.” He ends on a crescendo before softening his deep timbre. “She will have nothing.”

“Yes... there it is. You have too much of your father’s heart in you. Unless you prove otherwise”

“There’s nothing to prove. When the moment came, I didn’t hesitate! I sold them out and left them to rot.”

“And the deed split your spirit to the bone.” Snoke spits out at him. “Will this one finish the job?”

Snoke turns towards the window, the sunset slowly disappearing behind the city skyline.

“It seems you have learned well, my apprentice.” Kylo snaps his eyes to Snoke’s back. “Tonight, I’ll meet with a prospect. One who helped develop programming on a very special piece of technology, one with the skill to carry something like this out. Someone I’ve had my eye on for quiet some time. A nobody who may suffice for your plan.”

Snoke doesn’t budge from his spot. “I’ll debrief you tomorrow. Leave my presence. Next time, I expect to speak to a man, not a child.”

Kylo lumbers out, past his own office and into the night. He walks without aim, rage boiling in his veins. He steps into a posh lounge, the stern gentleman at the front podium recognizes him and greets him silently. He breezes by and makes for the end of the bar, eats a few olives and sits down to order a whiskey neat.

Rey slips her key in the door, and immediately enters to feed a mewling BB. “Does my sweet kitty need food?” She pours wet food into a little bowl and sets it down at her feet. There’s a take out container in the fridge for her. She savors every single bite of the chicken piccata she saved.

Rey’s late lunch is the only respite she gets before calling her biggest client to break the news. She spends the rest of her work day on conference calls, biting the bullet to finish out her last two contracts for the year. Her employers were disappointed, to say the least, but in good enough standing to leave her feeling satisfied. The sun is low in the sky when she’s finally done.

She relaxes into her armchair, sinking into its plush, faded depths. Her hazel eyes shut sleepily, barely registering a wink before BB jumps on her stomach.

“JESUS CHRIST!” BB jumps right back off when Rey explodes. “Damn it, BB. I only wanted a little cat nap.”

One hand gropes for a cell phone in the dark while the other wipes the sleep out of her eyes. She struggles to focus on the phone screen, until the time snaps into view.

**7:34 PM**

“FUCK!” Rey burst out of the chair, and almost slips on a blanket on the run back to her bedroom. “Fuckfuckfuckfuck!”

She ricochets around her room, gargling mouthwash, changing into a black and white striped sleeveless dress and grabs some flats. She runs a brush through her hair, tousles it a bit and pinches her cheeks awake with twenty minutes to make it to her meeting.

“Two hours, I was asleep for two hours!?? Why’d you let that happen, Beeb?” BB meows back at her in response.

“Phone, Keys, Wallet. Phone, Keys, Wallet. OKAY BYE!” A flash of her denim jacket is followed by the slam of the front door.

It’s a short cab ride away but the time it takes to go there seems to stretch endlessly. Rey tries to put on her best game face and feels herself coming up short. The only thing she can do is show up.

“Thanks.” She hands the man a fistful of cash and steps out of the taxi.

Rey steals a look inside the window, before stepping into the small foyer. She’s definitely underdressed, the women here are primped and polished, the men wear three piece suits.

“Yes?”She realizes the host is watching her, clearly thinking she wandered in mistakenly.

Rey quietly clears her throat. “I’m Rey Niima, here to see—“

The man holds up a hand to interrupt her and sighs. “Take a seat in the bar, feel free to order a drink. Someone will come to collect you.”

“Uh s-sure.” Rey shuffles around the podium and sees the bar at the far end of the room. Walking through the lounge, she notices a few people gazing at her over their drinks and in between puffs of cigar. She takes off her denim jacket in hopes of blending in but she can’t shake the judging eyes on her back. Rey claims a seat near the end of the bar, as far away as she can manage to get from other patrons, yearning to be anywhere but here.

“What would you like, miss? A bearded man asks her a second later.

Rey stumbles for what to order. She’s not a regular drinker and this doesn’t seem like the kind of place with syrup laden fruit cocktails she favors. “Dirty martini,”she blurts out, “please.” Why would she order that? She’s never had one before. She’s only ever heard it ordered on movies or tv, she rolls her eyes at herself. It doesn’t matter, she needs a drink to calm her nerves.

She watches as the bartender shakes her drink, pours it into a dainty glass in front of her and plops two olives inside. “Enjoy.”

Her mouth presses into a tight lipped smile, and her hand cautiously lifts the glass to her mouth. It’s not terrible, she can stomach it. Maybe even grow to like it, she does love olives. It’s exceptionally good at melting away her frazzled nerves. Absentmindedly, she takes sips as chatter fills the room and she lets herself relax. Her drink comes up empty and she’s surprised when the bartender comes back with one more.

“Ohh no, no thank you. I didn’t order another.”

“Don’t worry, miss. It’s courtesy of the house.”

Not used to receiving free stuff, Rey sputters out thanks as the man is pulled away by a nearby customer.

Rey retreats into her thoughts, wondering why she’s being made to wait here when she barely made it on time herself. The clock on the wall lets her know she’s been at this bar for nearly thirty minutes. Paranoid and generally distrustful of people, she worries she’s got the place or the time wrong but she can’t have. She finishes her second martini and places a coaster on top to signal the barkeep she doesn’t want any more. Five more minutes, that’s it. Five more minutes and she’ll leave.

A thundering voice near her makes all chatter in the room dissipate, sending chills down her spine. ‘YOU CAN’T CUT ME OFF! Do you know how insignificant you are? You’re worthless, your one occupation here is to serve me.” Glasses fly off the bar top as the dark haired man invades the barkeep’s space. “SERVE ME or you’ll be out on the street tonight.” The man is a black cloud of rage, his tremendous size threatening violence.

A thread inside Rey snaps.

“OY!” Her hands slam down on the countertop and the man’s gnarled features turn toward her. Before a second thought can cross her mind, she unloads on him.

“Who the bloody hell do you think you are? Did they not have an etiquette course at your upper class boarding school? He is worth ten of you.” She says, gesturing to the bartender making himself small on the other side of the bar. Her nostrils are flared as she tries breathe evenly.

The man looks her up and down with perverse mirth painted on his face. “Mind your own business, sweetheart. Don’t make a scene and get your sugar daddy banned.”

The proximity between the two closes steadily until Rey can smell the rancid alcohol on his breath as it brushes her cheek. “Unless you want me to be your sugar daddy for the night.” His giant hand brashly grabs her thigh.

Somewhere in the room someone gasps audibly.

Rey harnesses all the power in her legs to launch forward. She plants her hands on the man’s broad chest and topples him over before regaining her own balance. He lands sloppily, his mouth slack jawed in amazement.

She leans forward, looking down her nose to the man on the ground. “He’s doing you a favor, asshole. Think you’re better than him? You’re the human version of stepping in shit.” Rey spits out, emphasizing her final word.

“Ms. Niima.” A female voice rings clear across the sudden silence, startling her out of the moment, she turns and she sees a blond woman standing a few feet behind her. “Come with me.”

Rey grabs her things quickly and gives a backward glance to the man stupidly picking himself up off the floor.

“Ren.” She hears the blond woman casually name him before leading her down a long hallway with incandescent light.

She doesn’t notice Kylo staring after her until she’s completely obscured from view, if not a little after. Aware of the stares of those around him, he puts his hands in his pockets and storms out into the night, acute embarrassment burning his ears.

Her body is flooded with a spike of adrenaline, her hands are shaky with anger. Now that she’s moving she realizes she’s a little drunk. She does her best to walk steadily as they reach a door. The blond knocks lightly on the wood before stepping in, allowing Rey time to step inside before closing the door behind them. She approaches the older man and leans down to whisper something Rey can’t make out over the blood rushing through her head.

“Unbelievable.” He rolls his eyes and waves at the woman to leave them.

“Ms. Niima, I was not quite sure you would come. I’m elated you accepted my invitation. Please sit.” Snoke sits on a large wingback chair, like a king holding court.

Rey steps forward and sits on the chair he is gesturing to across from him. She’s taken aback by the state of Snoke’s face. His face is marred in a shocking manner, the end of one eye pulled down dramatically by a scar. Now she knows why she couldn’t find any pictures of him.

“Mr. Snoke.” Trying to keep her wits about her, Rey scrambles for something else to say. “What is it you have for me?”

“Surely we don’t need to get into this right away, would you like another drink?”

“I don’t think so. I’ve been here quite long enough actually. My only concern is how a man like yourself might know about me?” Her tone of annoyance is clear.

“No time for pleasantries, I see.” Snoke’s face drops the polite veil it held. “I’ve been following your career for some time now, Ms. Niima. You won a competition to help build a state of the art vault for MIT after college. Spent several months on the project, I believe”

“6 months, it was a great opportunity.” Rey admits.

“Yes, it was. It certainly caught the eye of many employers shortly thereafter. Many of my associates let me know just how important your work was to their success, and —“

“And you’d like me to backpedal on years of honest work, and for what? To help you hack some medium level security system to clean up your tracks?” Rey scoffs.

“Much more complicated than that. Like I said, I have been following you. A few years ago I heard praise of the exceptional skill you possess, and had you thoroughly investigated... should I ever have need of you.” Rey feels a chill down her spine, suddenly afraid of the seemingly frail man before her.

“This job will be challenging, and it requires complete discretion. A single slip up could result in demise. You must accept now or walk out of this room.” It finally sinks in for Rey in how dangerous this might be.

“So name your price, Ms. Niima. Surely you have something you deeply desire.”

Rey struggles with herself for a moment. It’s been so long since she’s been offered something like this, she’d said it was over. She was done with this type of risk, and yet, she feels recklessly desperate. When she finally speaks, her voice is firm but quiet. “I need you to find my birth parents.”

“Splendid.”

“But my price is that, plus an ample financial bonus.”

Snoke leans back, approving of her tactic. “$250,000, with half paid up front. Any information will be withheld until the work is complete.”

Rey holds her hand out and the devilish man reaches for it, finalizing their deal.

“Tonight will be the final time we meet, my trusted associate will be your sole contact. Your job is to, as you so clearly worded it, break into a private security network and retrieve all information regarding myself and First Order. Skywalker Corp, a media corporation that runs a little rag you may know as The Twin Sun Tribune, has struggling to get back to their glory days. I’m their favorite punching bag, you see and they are looking for a fight. You will dismantle their firewalls, weaken them from the inside but that is not all. You will hack into their system, provide my associate with access to everything. Timing is very important.”

“You’re framing someone.” Rey says under her breath, naively thinking she would have rather not connected the dots in her head. “This is a heavy job for one person on an uncertain deadline.”

“My associate will collect you in the morning. He will be all the help you need.” Snoke stands and takes one final look at her before leaving through a rear door “I do hope you succeed, Ms. Niima. To disappoint me would prove rather dreadful.”

Rey walks out of the bar and dazedly all the way home, overthinking her decision.


	2. Aggressive Negotiations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Rey come face to face again, and it goes about as well as you can imagine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kylo is a bit of a creep in this, and I apologize ahead of time if that’s not your thing. He was nicer in the draft and there just wasn’t enough tension.

Kylo wakes up in his bed, disgusted by the taste of his mouth, dry like it was stuffed with cotton. He searches for water but only finds a whiskey glass half full on his nightstand. In the bathroom, light blinds him momentarily before he catches sight of himself. He can’t remember the last time he was this hungover. Dragging a hand over his bedraggled face, he recalls last night’s events. No one can say his outburst was surprising, anger is what he’s known for. But the twinge of guilt he feels when he flashes back to the girl’s face twisted in anger as she lunged toward him, that’s new. Who was that girl?

A noise from the front room snaps him out of his rumination and he runs to confront his would be intruder. Instead, he finds Snoke sitting in his cold living room, as if he was the one that lived here.

He eyes Kylo with contempt. “You look dreadful. I thought perhaps I would have to send Phasma in to douse you with ice water to wake you from your stupor. You have kept me waiting.”

“I didn’t realize th —“

“Don’t blither excuses at me.” Snoke raises his voice before holding a hand out towards Phasma standing behind him, who places a large folder on it. “Your foolishness is something I’d rather not dwell on, you’re disgraceful.” He tosses the folder on the table and Kylo slowly reaches for it and opens it.

Inside is a candid shot of the girl from last night and his chest constricts. She’s got a smile on her face, and not the marred expression she pointed at him in the bar. The name below it reads Rey Niima. Did he have her followed already? “What is this?”

“That is going to be your assignment for the next few months. She’s a top notch programmer and a remarkable hacker. The one person to help us topple your beloved family empire.” Snoke’s lips quirk in a mirthfully malevolent smile. “I sense a strong hesitation on her part but in that folder is everything you need to know her... intimately.”

Kylo’s eyes flash to Snoke’s in surprise.

“You understand. She'll only communicate with one person for the duration of this venture, and that will be you. Get under her skin, romance her, gain her confidence. Ensure she finishes the job.”

“You’re asking me to seduce her.” Kylo states plainly, nonplussed by his boss’ expectations.

“I’m telling you to obtain her loyalty. You’ve made it rather difficult for yourself, given your absurd behavior last night. Or did you think I didn’t know about that?” Snoke slowly stands in his decrepit form.” You will pick her up within two hours. She has no idea it will be you who shows up at her doorstep, read up and plan carefully. When you’re done, burn that folder.”

He says one final thing to Kylo. “Don’t come back to the office until I specifically order you. The more distance we put between us the better. Don’t fail me, Mr. Ren.”

Once he’s alone he devours the contents of the folder, only skimming through Snoke’s directives. It’s Rey’s personal information that intrigues him. His compassion for her intensifies as he reads through the life that she’s led. Found near death, presumed orphaned and thrown in the system. A runaway at 16. No family and no friends to speak of. She’s practically been a ghost. Yet as an adult, she’s been successful and as he looks at her picture, he wonder how she can smile so easily. Kylo takes the papers over to his fireplace and uses them as kindling, everything except for the picture, which he tucks into a dusty book on his shelf.

The sun rises slowly through Rey’s window as she lies awake absentmindedly stroking BB’s soft fur. Her decision to work for Snoke sits like a lead weight in her belly. She tossed and turned all night, and while that’s not out of the norm for her, she knows fully well it’s because she’s signed a deal with the devil. Pulling back the veil on her life is the one goal that’s constantly eluded her. She knows she was found on the outskirts of Jakku, coming out of the woods dehydrated and unresponsive. She spent a month at a nearby hospital. That’s where her dead end work always leads her, back to that damn hospital where nobody came to claim her. To have some answers for once... it’s worth the potential danger.

She busies herself around her apartment, feeding and taking pictures of BB, showering, and getting ready for the day that lies ahead of her. Her restlessness grows as the minutes tick by. Rey finally plops down on the couch and lets out an obnoxious noise. “Pfft! I really should’ve remembered to nail down a time a bit better. This waiting around is wracking my nerves.”

Kylo knows this is the correct address, the intercom system at the front door clearly has a buzzer marked R. Niima. He lets his finger linger over it. An older woman exits the building before he has to press the button, and he slips in the door behind her.

Pushed to his limits and half hungover, Kylo’s not in the mood for a confrontation. What is he supposed to say to her? Why is he even worried about it? He doesn’t know this girl.

He walks up the final flight of stairs and approaches her door. A whoosh of air leaves his lips; he lifts a hand and knocks firmly twice.

He can hear her rushing to answer the door and she yells out, “Coming!” Steps get closer, locks begin to turn, and she opens the door with friendly look on her face. Almost immediately, her face falls as she sees Kylo standing in her doorway.

“Ms. Niima.” Kylo tries to sound pleasant without being lascivious. It doesn’t work.

The door slams in his face and he can hear her angrily stomping around inside. He turns the knob slightly. “She didn’t lock it,” he mutters to himself and steps through the door. He can hear dishes slamming around further inside

He’s hardly stepped through her living room before she bombards him. “You loathsome snake!.” She’s pacing back and forth in her kitchen, glaring daggers in his direction. “This has to be a joke”

“Do you find it funny?” Kylo says dryly.

She points at the door. “Get out! I won’t work with you!”

“You know I can’t leave, you’ve committed to this. Snoke trusts me to see this through.” He runs a hand through his hair in his exasperation. When he turns back to her, she’s staring at him intently, gears turning inside her brain.

Rey sighs heavily and takes a seat at her small kitchen table. “There must be someone else he trusts to do this. You can’t be the only person I talk to for months, you’re atrocious.”

Kylo takes the seat across from her at the kitchen table. “You think you know everything there is to know about me?” They stare each other down for a long time.

“Ah, you do,” he says in a low voice.

“I know you’ve got a terrible temper, a touch of alcoholism perhaps?” Rey shouts accusingly. “I’m not thrilled for a man to come knocking around my door acting as if he wasn’t trying to accost me twelve hours ago!”

“It was my ass on the floor, if I remember correctly! I didn’t hurt you. You were in my face, and I tried to... frighten you, sorry.” Kylo admits begrudgingly. He can’t help but feel like this is going even more terribly than he imagined.

Rey exaggerates a mocking laugh. “Sorry? You didn’t step on my toes, you wanker. I was in your face because you’re a terrible drunk. Seeing you fall on your ass was almost reward enough.”

Kylo scoff at her words, mostly because she’s right. He lets silence fall over them, trying to figure out a way to rationalize his actions knowing an apology would only sound like bullshit.

“You just gonna sit there like a statue or call your replacement?” Rey expresses disdainfully.

Kylo sits up, putting his face as close as he can from across the table. “Get this through your head... there is no replacement.” He stands, towering over her before either of them realize it. “You’re stuck with me, what you want does not matter. Grow up, you’ve got a job to do.”

“You grow up.” Rey throws back, anger in her voice, she wishes for a better retort. She heads to her room, intent on getting her things. The last thing she wants is his negative energy permeating her living space any longer.

Kylo steps back, and looks around at Rey’s cozy apartment, decorated colorfully and thoughtfully. It shows a lot of her personality, like an expression of who she is. Suddenly, he feels uncomfortable being here. A shifting noise distracts him and he turns to see her stuffing a backpack forcefully, intently glowering at him.

“Let’s get out of here.” _So I can lose you quick._

“You ready to quit whining?” he utters

Rey scoffs. “I just want you out of my hair as soon as possible, if through is the only way out...” She swings her arm between them, telling him to get a move on but he does not budge. ”I’m going to get some food, you do whatever you need to do.

Kylo rolls his eyes, “I have a place for us to go.”

“I’m not leaving with a man whose name I don’t even know.” She thinks he must be stupid, acting like he commands her.

“Uhh..” He stutters momentarily, only now realizing he forgot to introduce himself. “Kylo Ren.”

“That’s your real name?” Rey resists the urge to laugh, grabbing her jacket and bag. “Jesus, okay.”

He scowls, wondering how she’s already driving him crazy.

“Fine, Kylo. Let’s go.”

He follows her out the door and waits while she locks up behind them. Rey strides alongside him until he stops at a sleek luxury car with tinted windows. When he gets to the driver’s side, he’s pleased to look up and see she's impressed with it. “You ride on the inside, Rey. Unless you want me to strap you to the roof.”

She flips him off and opens the passenger door.

The drive is tense. The radio plays NPR and the dulcet tones of the woman speaking do little to lift the mood in the car. Rey watches buildings and pedestrians zoom by her window, thinking she can’t believe her fucking luck. Her skin is crawling even being in the car with this guy. Kylo Ren, what a stupid name. It sounds made up. If she’s forced to work so closely with him, maybe she’ll make it unbearable for him. The fleeting thought puts a smirk on her face.

“What are you smiling about?” Kylo interrupts her thoughts and she looks over to him slightly wide eyed, at a loss of what to say.

“Nothing I want to share with you.” Rey’s face turns even further toward the window.

Kylo’s hands grip the steering wheel tightly, the leather squeaks in protest. He doesn’t say anything again.

The car pulls into an underground garage and Kylo takes out a swipe card from his visor. As he drives deeper inside Rey takes notice of her surroundings. There’s nothing but expensive cars inside. Where is he taking her?

“No one will bother us here.” Kylo looks over at her apprehensively.

They get out of the car and take an elevator up. Kylo leads her through an opulent lobby with marble floors, flower arrangements and a row of concierges. She knows she stands out, she can feel it like a stranger’s gaze on her back and she doesn’t know if it’s because of her or the intimidating man whose stride she’s trying to keep up with, but Rey feels slightly underdressed in her daisy patterned jumpsuit. “This place is very fancy, I wish you’d mentioned that before we left.”

Kylo looks her over when they reach the entrance to a dining room. “No one cares.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re in a suit.” Rey side eyes him.

A hostess walks up, greets Kylo formally and smiles politely at Rey. “Two?”

“Somewhere in the back.” He reaches over for the woman’s hand and palms a large bill into her hand. The hostess nods her head softly and they follow her to a booth far away from other patrons.

Rey immediately grabs her menu to choose her breakfast, engrossed with the extravagant choices. She goes through the whole menu twice before she decides. Her stomach growls and she peeks over her menu. Kylo is staring at her stoically. She finds it a bit unnerving and is only pulled away from his stare when a server comes to take their order, leaving as quick as he came.

They wait quietly for a minute before Kylo’s voice cuts the tension. “How do we get started?”

“I will find a backdoor into their system. If we can get an employee with a high enough clearance to piggy back in on, it’s even easier.” Rey continues to lay out the plan. “All we need is to look through their employee directory and bait them. Once I’m in, I can poke around. All it takes is one gullible person.”

“And if we get caught?” Kylo murmurs.

Rey cocks her head to the side incredulously, “I didn’t score this gig because I know how to get caught.”

“Listen, if something goes wrong, we’re both dead.” Kylo hisses. “What. Is. Your. Plan?”

Rey scrunches her nose up in anger. “You want me to draw a diagram for you, is that it? I’ve got my own procedure, and you’ve gotta trust that your boss wouldn’t hire some incompetent asshole. Not when he already has you.” She adds under her breath.

Kylo seethes, ready to snap at her just as the server comes back with their food. His cheery disposition is crushed under Kylo’s intense aura but his professionalism wins out.

“May I get you anything els— “

“Leave.” Kylo commands sharply and the man scurries away, not needing to be told twice.

“You’re such a prick.” Rey says, shoveling forkful of Eggs Florentine into her mouth. She doesn’t bother to look at him.

Kylo focuses on his own plate and she’s glad for the lack of conversation.

Rey gobbles down her entire plate, saving the fruit for last. ”What do you know about remote hacking?” She wait passively for him to answer.

He pushes his food around his plate then stops to look at her. He’s surprised at how unbothered she seems by his mood. Kylo shakes his head. “Not enough.”

“My end of the bargain is simple. I grant you unfettered access to their system. I rifle through their data, if anything needs to be removed, I swipe it.” She picks at the berries on her plate. “I have a VPN I designed myself. Masks my IP, and though it’s not foolproof,” she acquiesces, “it’s nearly untraceable. Beyond that, we just lay low. I prefer to routinely change locations but that’s because I get bored easily.”

Rey pops a raspberry into her mouth, waiting for Kylo to respond with his own information.

““You will disable their security system to access their confidential archives and destroy any intel they have on Snoke or his company leaving Skywalker completely vulnerable.” Kylo pauses for a second. “I’ll have my own information to filter into their system. I’ll ask for your help if I need it, and you should do the same. You really shouldn’t know more than that, unless necessary.”

“You’ve decided that, because you think you’re in charge of me?” Rey can’t help but goad him.

“I am in charge of you.” He asserts, caging her in with his stare. It makes her blood boil, she can’t stand him.

“Well this has been the loveliest meal I’ve had in a long time,” she says acidly. She wipes her with a napkin and reaches for her bag. “Think I’ll get to work.”

A large hand grabs her wrist and she throws a steely glance to its owner. “What are you doing? Get off!”

“If you’re working at all, so am I.” His hold on her remains. “It’s non-negotiable.”

“Let. Go.” She snatches her arm out of his grasp. “I don’t need you for the beginning, you’ll only be a distraction right now. Being around you sets my teeth on edge... honestly, I’d much rather work alone given the chance.” Rey snatches the bag away, rushing back toward the front door she glimpsed on their way in.

“Rey!” Kylo’s roar echoes in the dining room.

Before she reaches the exit, she glances back and catches sight of Kylo following closely behind. His face is scrunched up in a glower, and he’s catching up to her easily, his stride twice the size of hers. Rey breaks into a sprint, running through the foyer before an arm wraps around her middle and knocks the breath out of her.

“Put me down!” She kicks as Kylo drags her back to the elevator, nobody makes a sound, nobody tries to help. That’s why he brought her here. Pushing the buttons, he lets her go when the doors close and Rey shoves him back. He hardly moves an inch. The elevator door dings open and Kylo grabs her by the bicep to lead her to the car.

“I don’t know why you’ve decided to struggle.” Kylo unlocks the car and opens her door, still holding on to her arm. He turns Rey toward him and invades her space. “You know I can take whatever I want.”

Rey is forced to look up at him and notices his eyes no longer look angry, just disappointed. She ducks inside the car, her heart beating like a drum in her ears. She doesn’t know this man very well, why can’t she stop egging him on? The world outside her window becomes a blur until a small library comes into view. It’s the same one she always comes to when she wants some peace while she works, she wonder how much this man knows about her.

“This is close to your place, I figured we could get some work done here.” Kylo gets out of the car and leaves Rey to trail behind him.

“Hiya, Rey!” A young man scanning a cart of books waves his hand.

“Snap, how’s things?” She moves over to the front desk and pats her hands on the countertop.

“Not any good since you haven’t come around lately.”

“Did you get those books I asked for?”

Snap offers her a sheepish smile.

“And you wonder why I stay away.” She gives the young man a dazzlingly sweet smile. “Is the window spot open?”

“It’s waiting for ya!” Snap watches Rey walk away toward her usual place, his toothy grin on full display. It fades only when Kylo lingers for a second longer and Snap takes notice of the man, hostility clear on his face.

Rey reaches a sun dappled bay window tucked in the corner, drops her bag on the table before it and immediately opens the window. A little of the stress she’s experiencing falls away, chased away by fresh air and the chirping of nearby birds.

“You love it here.” It’s not a question, he could never miss the way her face just relaxed

Rey doesn’t turn to look at him as she starts up her laptop. “It’s soothing... and quiet. No one bothers me.” For a moment, she sits back and lets the sun warm her face.

“Not even Snap?” Kylo takes a seat just a few feet away from her, his long legs stretching under the table in a casual manner, nearly touching hers.

Rey chooses to ignore his comment... it seems Kylo knows exactly how to prickle her. She can’t be baited by his wickedly pendulous attitude.

She allows the air to fall into a comfortable silence. Rey immediately logs into her VPN, using a manual key she constructed. It’s the only way to access it. She takes the key and scrambles a new password that she puts into the software. Once she knows she’s good, she searches the employee directories for Skywalker. There’s low voltage technicians with active profiles that might help her check on the newest technical updates, department heads with easily accessible channels... this company has very weak defenses. She shakes her head and immediately searches for their security department head, a man named Poe Dameron.

“Who is Poe Dameron?” Rey, so used to solitude while working, murmurs under her breath.

A velvety voice answers her. “A hot shot with way too much power. He’s been with Skywalker Corp. for a long time now”

“Well he’s about to get sliced.” Rey notices Kylo’s lips quirk up when she says that.

Rey continues to research her subject. A man in his late thirties, single, no children. A man with a passion for fostering dogs, who frequents car shows, is a good cook and, loves men in uniform... okay, she’s got it. This guy actually sounds kinda nice, it’s a shame. She’ll drop a few well placed ads on his social media sites. He just needs to click on one, and she’s in.

“Are you ever going to tell me what you’re doing?” Kylo has been still as a statue, flipping through a book he had within reach, letting her focus on the task at hand.

“Are you ever going to stop acting like a prick?”

“Not for you.” He continues flipping.

Rey pushes her laptop aside and looks Kylo over. His best attempt at looking relaxed leaves him looking out of place.

“Here’s the thing, Ren...”

Kylo sits up instantly, a knee jerk reaction to her serious tone.

“You need something from me. I’m sure if you went back to Snoke empty handed it wouldn’t go over too well. To be completely honest, you have more to lose here than I do.” Rey bites out, worried he’ll call her bluff.

“Rey, liste—.“

“An apology now would be worthless.” Rey turns back to her work.

Kylo has the common sense to look only slightly annoyed.

“I’ll know when you finally mean it.” Rey keeps typing away, researching more employees in case Poe doesn’t work out.

Kylo gets up to wander the library.

It’s late in the afternoon and Rey can feel herself crashing. She searches for Kylo but whatever pile of books he dove into will have to keep him company. He knows where to find her, she needs a break. Rey packs up her bag, looking down passing rows of books, she sees no sign of her brooding companion. She remembers the cafe close to her house should still be open, and leaves anyway. She thinks about leaving a message for him with Snap in case he notices she’s gone but decides against it.

_Kylo is exactly the type of person to shoot the messenger._

Kylo’s getting tired of hanging around this library. He hates to admit now that Rey was right, he’s pretty useless to her right now. He’s just used to exerting power over others, but she’s not intimidated by him. He places the art history book he was perusing back on the shelf.

_Maybe she’s hungry again and we can leave._

That’d be great, this is only their first day together and it’s moving at a terrible pace. His exhaustion is beginning to creep up on him. He lumbers through the silent library to come back to their corner, finds it suspiciously abandoned and immediately stalks up and down the aisles looking for Rey. His anger rises and rises until he feels it boiling over. He approaches the front desk and interrupts Snap while he helps someone. “Where is she?”

“She just left and didn’t say anything!” Snap holds his hands up submissively.

Kylo speeds off in his car down the street toward Rey’s apartment; fuming. He scans the streets for her figure, but he’s too worked up to notice as he drives past the little bistro where Rey is seated outside enjoying a double espresso and a panini. He makes it to her building, and immediately gets out to ring her buzzer once, twice, three, four times and no answer. He does this a couple of times more and growls at the lack of response. Sulking in his car, waiting to ambush her as she come home, Kylo scowls and stakes out her stoop.

It’s over an hour later when Rey comes strolling up the block, she doesn’t seem to have a care in the world and when Kylo takes notice of her carefree expression it riles him up even more. She’s fumbling with her key when he startles her.

“REY!” He’s stomping over to her, looking twice as broad and menacing as he did when she first met him.

“Fuck!” She tries to get in faster hoping to leave him locked out. The door unlocks and she reaches behind her to close it when a large foot blocks the doorway. She immediately bolts up the stairs, unwilling to face him in the hallway where her neighbors will surely hear.

Once she’s in the comfort of her apartment a surge of righteous fury rocks her body. There’s absolutely no way she’s doing this for months; bowing to a maniac’s demands for absolutely no reason except to pacify him. She’s come too far to allow herself to be treated like this.

Kylo’s form fills the open doorway behind her and he slams the door shut. “What the hell is wrong with you? I looked for you and I’ve been waiting; do you know how long?”

“Long enough for me to have pleasant lunch.” Rey is raring for a confrontation.

“Why do you keep trying to give me the slip?” Kylo steps directly in front of her, forcing her toraise her chin to speak to him.

“I’m not, and I’m also not chained to you like a dog. Going about my day does not count as evading you.” She closes the distance between them to scowl in his face. “You’re aggressive and degrading, you don’t understand people at all. Why are you so surprised that I want as little to do with you as possible? ”

His smirk is almost devilish when he speaks again. “I don’t know, Rey, I think I could understand you pretty well. To start, I think you do have a lot at stake here.” He brushes a strand of hair off Rey’s shoulder and makes her shiver. “If you quit now, you’ll never discover why your parents threw you away like garbage.”

Surprise flashes clear across Rey’s face; she falters back a step, feeling like she’s been smacked.

“Don’t you want to know?” His voice is smooth and even.

Rey’s response is barely louder than a whisper. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“You’re not an orphan then?”

“Stop.”

“You weren’t discarded and left utterly alone for life?”

“STOP!” Rey shoves him back, and he stumbles into a kitchen chair. She turns her back to him, fists at her sides visibly shaking.

Kylo gets up, coming close behind her, his words caressing her ear. “Admit it, this is important to you.”

When Rey finally turns, wet hot tears are running down her eyes.

“I hate you.” A fierce grimace colors her face, but her voice is even. “Don’t pretend to know me because your boss handed you my dossier. I’ve waited my whole life to have some answers, and if working with you is my one crux, I’ll have to bear the weight alone but do not for a moment mistake me as complicit in your horrid behavior.” 

Rey advances on Kylo, who slowly retreats as her barrage continues. “I won’t bend to your childish will, I won’t put up with your tantrums and I will not stand by as you belittle everyone around you! YOU are the one who needs me here, make sure to memorize that bit. If you make this even a bit more painful for me, I will walk... no matter the consequences.”

Kylo’s gone too far, he knows it, and he wishes he could do away with the feeling of shame that she brings out in him. Suddenly he feels like trash for being so volatile with her. In her raw honesty, she remains composed despite the silent tears that streak down her face. He finds himself stupidly wishing he could reach out and wipe them away, comfort her. The thought concerns him immediately. She doesn’t need his pity.

Tired, she walks to her front door and he can do little else but trail after her, foolishly hoping to set things right. She opens the front door, and looks back at him. “We’ll meet tomorrow, I’ll tell you when and where. Never come here again.”

The door slams behind him.

He stares at her door for too long before heading home.

Rey boots up her computer, and wipes away her continuous tears, wanting to just get on with her work. It’s not long before Poe takes the bait. He’s logged into his work computer, maybe he’s working late. When she pulls up his screen, she sees he clicked on the trial version of a porn site she made up. In her experience, it’s not surprising.

Kylo doesn’t sleep through the night, and gets up before sunrise to tire himself out in the gym. Set after set, his body burns and pains; punishment for the mess he’s created. Today has to be better, if he can just control his stupid mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 💛


	3. Coded Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo is socially inept, and Rey is just not here for it. Or is she?
> 
> I listened to Say So by Doja Cat a lot going over this chapter and the rewrite changed it for the better. Really ramped up the yearning on this chapter, plus lots of angst, and lots of flirting. Get ready, y’all.

The majority of Rey’s evening is spent monitoring Poe on his laptop. Once she realized, late into the night, that his click would turn into a no holds barred porno crusade, and her not being so indecent as to watch, went to bed. The day was long and exhausting, and her heart is heavy after her shouting match with Kylo, As a result, sleep swiftly pulled her under as soon as her head hit the pillow, and she woke up early with excited anticipation of what would come. Someone should’ve told this “head of security” to not use his work laptop for porn, then again... that’s something he likely already knows. When Poe powers his laptop back up in the morning he spends the first part of his early morning messaging a man named Finn Storm, their conversation is friendly, close to flirty on Poe’s end. A particular email catches her eye and she is surprised to find the pair of them run the security branch at Skywalker Corp., with Poe as department head and Finn as his second. They try hard to not put much detail into their emails but it’s not a tough code to crack; they get to talking about going on another excursion for this quarter. She delves further back into their emails, finding trails of information for past “excursions.” Rooting around in Skywalker Group’s system is a breeze, with these two idiots broadcasting their every move, she has little trouble familiarizing herself with it. Maybe she should let Kylo know, he needs to do his own work after all, even if she doesn’t want him around. Looking for her phone all over her apartment, she finds it wedged between the seat cushions on her couch. 5 missed calls, and it’s only a little after 9 AM. Deciding she’s let him suffer enough for one morning, she clicks on the number. The line rings for a fraction of a second before he picks up.

“Rey” Relief coats his voice, his tone is calm in a way that Rey finds unexpected.

“Let’s get started. Meet me in 30 minutes at Rebel Brew.” Rey’s tone is clipped. “It’s a coffee shop 1/2 a mile from my place.” The last bit she adds in a bit more softly.

Kylo clears his throat. “I’m downstairs, have been for a while.”

“You’re joking.” Looking out her window, down the street the spots Kylo’s black-as-night car. “I’m coming down.” She hangs up.

Petty as she can be sometimes, Rey takes an exorbitant amount of time getting ready. She spends the full 30 minutes finding the perfect dress for the sunny weather outside, plaiting her hair and decides she has time for a bit of mascara. At the very end she feels a bit overdone and regrets it immediately. _He’s going to think I did this for him. Shit._ She shakes off the idea, grabs her pack and heads out the door.

Kylo’s hand is on his chin, smushing his face forward, eyes plastered on Rey’s front door. He looks at his watch for the umpteenth time. _She’s doing this on purpose._ He hates waiting. When he looks back up, Rey’s walking over to him, wearing a white sundress, with a braid trailing over her shoulder. She steps off the sidewalk, sunlight hits her, and she is light itself, beaming. Her dress is illuminated from behind her, and he takes an unnecessarily rakish glance as her body is silhouetted perfectly for him. Looking both ways before crossing, she comes and knocks on his driver’s side window. It takes effort for Kylo to gather his thoughts as he rolls down the window.

“What are you doing? Get in.”

Rey scrunches her face and says “No.”

“Huh?”

“I told you to meet me there, so I’m walking there. I want to enjoy the sun.” She walks away and gives him a backward glance.

Kylo’s heart does an odd leap and he fumbles with his car door, hurrying to catch up with her.

They walk in silence, Rey seemingly blasé and happy to be out in the sun. Kylo gives her odd glances here and there until she catches him looking at her.

“My friend works in this coffee shop but she won’t be there today. I just like it there.” Rey turns the corner and goes into the little shop.

“Coffee?” Rey asks politely, using her ingrained manners.

“Yes. Black drip coffee.”

Rey mutters. “Of course.”

She order for them both and points a finger back at Kylo. “He’ll pay.”

Drinks in hand, Rey leads them to an empty booth and immediately starts typing away at her computer.

“What have you been doing all morning? I’ve been waiting for your call.” There’s a strain laced between his words, like he’s trying to be polite.

“I was enjoying a bit of freedom, and getting a lot of work done.” Rey sips her latte. “And I found this...” She turns her screen to face him.

It looks like absolutely nothing to him, just countless words on a screen. “What am I looking at, Rey?”

“Their system could be very secure but they’re sloppy in the way they use it now. They’re careless, they leave important information in the open, write passwords down and never change them again. It’s plain stupid.” She turns her screen back to face her. “Anyway, I gained access to all of their high clearance archive, where I’ll be spending most of my time time.Their entire security branch is more concerned with trailing Snoke right now. Although it doesn’t look like they’re having much luck.” Reys sighs, noticing the dots are not connecting for Kylo ”Getting rid of evidence is easy but we can’t go in there with a clean sweep. I need to track their movements, and formulate a plan for removal.”

“But that’s not the only thing we have to do.” Kylo isn’t sure this is anything to get too worked up about.

“Yes, well... that’s why I called you. If I’m working, you’re working right?” Her tone is derisive, making it clear she’s still upset about their confrontation the night before.

“Let’s do it.” Kylo takes out his own laptop, and hands it to her.

The rest of their day is spent working together in near silence after Rey gives Kylo access to their financial and transactional data. They drink too much coffee and Rey eats several pastries. She finally gets bored and decides to tell him exactly how she hacked into Poe’s computer and Kylo’s face contorts in a way that doesn’t sync up with the intimidating persona he’s shown her. It takes all of Rey’s strength to keep from howling with laughter; but she manages to stifles it under her sleeve.

“I didn’t need to know that.” Kylo looks unamused, and somehow that makes her laugh more openly. It’s a cheerful sound.

She raises an eyebrow at him. “People are quite predictable, Kylo. Not you though, you’re all over the map.”

Rey turns back to her computer and continues working, marveling at how old their operating system is. For a multimillion dollar corporation, this is very outdated. This should’ve been updated this ages ago. There’s not much activity today, and she spend the majority of the time taking inventory of all the information they have saved digitally. Any physical evidence isn’t her responsibility and she wonders if Snoke has someone else for a liability like that. She glances over to Kylo whose furrowed brow is nearly obscured by the screen he’s hunched over as he types furiously.

She notices the time; it’s late in the afternoon, they’ll be closing the coffee shop soon. Rey closes her laptop, shoving it in her bag. “We should get out of here. No one will tell us to leave... they’re too nice.”

He looks up in surprise, time flew right by him. “Where do you want to go?” Putting his own stuff away, he grabs both of their bags, and Rey cannot understand this fixation he has on carrying her stuff for her, but it’s the only chivalrous trait he’s shown so far so she lets it go.

“Follow me.” Rey waves back at the barista as they leave. 

A few blocks further down, Rey speaks up. “It feels like I’m overqualified for this job, it seems unbelievably easy. How do we know this isn’t a trap?”

“Snoke didn’t just hire you for your skill, but your reputation of being discreet and efficient. It’s not a trap, Skywalker Group is in shambles. Their standing as a publicly traded company is low and has been for years. They haven’t been able to recoup forces since their CEO was found unfit for duty.”

“Leia Organa?”

“Her twin brother. Luke Skywalker. His own board voted him out before he could be found guilty of several financial crimes, she was lucky enough to take up the mantle of CEO after he was found guilty.”

“So she’s the one we’re after here?” Rey’s not dumb, their entire trail leads back this one woman.

His expression hardens when she says that, and he throws her a warning glance of steel as if to say it’s not any of her business. “What did you find?” He glosses over it, changing the course of their conversation but Kylo absentmindedly fiddles with the strap on his bag, a nervous habit that Rey picks up on.

“They’re completely open to attack.” Rey sucks her teeth. “Even from a technical standpoint, it’s joyless work. Not that ruining people’s lives should be fun, but this isn’t a challenge. It’s like kicking an already wounded animal.” There’s something sick about this, purely vindictive in nature, she can tell.

“They deserve it.” His tone visibly darkens, he steps away, quickening his steps. She doesn’t cede to his pace and he stops to wait, slightly stunned that she’s completely impervious to his typically commanding presence.

“We’re going for a walk, I’m too wired from all that coffee. I need to relax for a bit.” Her steps are slow and easy going.

“Why?” They turn a corner and there’s a park across the street from them.

“What are you, a robot? Relaax, it won’t rust your gears. A stroll over a nice bridge and through the grass never hurt anyone,” she chimes.

Kylo doesn’t get teased often, and isn’t sure whether to be charmed or peeved with Rey but follows her all the same.

Enveloped in lush greenery, a thin path leads them to the bridge. It’s old, but well-built with dark wood covered in different carvings... names, initials, cuss word, doodles. Rey comes to a spot and looks out at the stream gently passing underneath them before disappearing again under concrete. Kylo beside her looks down and finds her name carved right between them.

“Is this you?” His hand gently caresses her name, touching every groove.

Rey points through the trees, at the row of old apartment buildings beyond the park. “If you stand in this spot, you can see my living room window. It was like I finally entered adulthood when I bought my apartment, I cried when I signed for it. One day I came down for a stroll, looked up and saw my place in the world. So I put this here as a reminder, when everything else feels hard, of how far I’ve come.” She’s gone as she soon as finishes her sentence, unsure why she shared that bit of her with him. Maybe part of her just wants him to understand her, instead of antagonizing her.

Kylo feels a twinge of pride for her, for marking her territory, for not letting life wear her down, for being an optimist when the world has only shown her how bleak it can be. Admiration toward someone, anyone, is foreign to him but he feels it for her all the same.

When he finds Rey, she’s laying in the grass. Sandals off, toes hidden between the blades, she’s soaking up the late afternoon sun like a cat. Her dress is hitched up enough to reveal her tan legs and it stops him in his tracks, one single word pops into his head, unbidden. _Radiant._ Kylo shakes his head and takes a seat beside her, awkwardly maneuvering his long legs, and closes his eyes to keep himself from staring at her. He leans back on his palms and finds that sitting silently in the sun with her proves to be calming, her presence is soothing.

“Don’t worry, just a few more minutes.” One of her eyes opens for a moment to see him sitting close to her. “Wouldn’t want you to get any grass stains on that pricey, pressed suit.”

She doesn’t think very much of him, he knows. It rankles him, as if disappointing her should matter so much to him. Would he be enjoying this at all if she weren’t here? He knows the answer is no. Relaxation is hard to come by in his everyday life, and oftentimes being alone with his thoughts heightens his stress, so no, he wouldn’t ever be sitting in the sunshine without her. This isn’t like him, and he suddenly hates that fact; he springs up from the ground, uncomfortable.

“Let’s walk you home, Rey.”

Her eyes open to find him standing above her, impatient

“Fine. There’s more work to do anyway.” Sandals in hand, she straightens her dress and heads toward her building.

At her stoop Rey turns around to face him. She glances obviously back and forth between his car and him more than a few times. Kylo looks at her curiously.

_How can he not get this?_ She reaches to get her backpack from his shoulder. “You’ve got to go, Kylo.”

“We’re not done yet.” He keeps a tight grip on the strap.

“We’ve had a good day, let’s not ruin it.” Rey pries his fingers back carefully and takes the bag away from him.

“I meant what I said yesterday, I don’t want you to come up to my apartment anymore. I can keep working without you today.”

Her words carry a sting that he didn’t expect and his mood sours completely. “I’ll be here early in the morning, we’ll be working late. Don’t waste your time getting dolled up tomorrow.” He walks away, flexing the hand she touched as if she had burned it.

Kylo spends another arduous night in the gym, berating himself. Rey works late into the night, aggravated by Kylo’s parting words.

A tense routine falls into place for the next few weeks, Kylo meets her outside her apartment. Curt greetings are exchanged then Rey picks where to go work quietly.Their main form of communication is extended sideways glances. Something they come to rely on to read each other. Rey performs diligently, shouldering her portion of the work dutifully, filling him in when Kylo deigns to speak up, more often than not questioning her every move with an angry edge. Even then she keeps a calm demeanor, but he can see the fiery anger in her eyes every time he sticks his foot in his mouth. She’s gotten so completely under his skin, and he doesn’t know how to act around her. Relegated to being support, Kylo flounders even as he continues to work around the clock. Rey’s aloof demeanor toward him, in contrast with the sunny disposition she shines on everyone else they encounter daily disarms him completely. He overthinks his every action, every word to the point of near silence. Yet on friendlier days, their interactions are fueled by a delectable undercurrent neither has been able to explain, much less address. Rey demands daily walks, there’s no other way around it but to bring him along. She loves hidden away spots, small parks, and she introduces him to a different face of the city, one that’s alive, lush and beautiful. Any unintended ounce of kindness she gives him worms its way into his heart, accumulating a warmth that leaves Kylo thoroughly confused. These mood swings and the long hours they spend together from morning to night attribute to their ever rising tensions.

“I’m tired of you moping about. Why did you drag me out today? We don’t need to be here together. You’re hardly even working, just go home.” Rey is beyond cranky herself. It’s late in the day, they’ve been holed up in the library for hours, with several unforeseen technical errors on Rey’s part, to her total frustration, and yet, Kylo hasn’t muttered a word all day. Snoke has been on his ass lately, the verbal thrashing Snoke unleashed on him when he found out Kylo was not succeeding in getting closer to Rey lingers in the back of his mind, vivid and prickling.

An exasperated sigh leaves Kylo’s lips. “I don’t want to do this, I’m leaving.” There is more than one meaning behind his words, and he’d rather not face that realization right now.

He leaves hurriedly, knowing Rey’s capable of getting herself home. _Just talk to her_ An acute fear pierces his heart every time he tries. The impermeable, ever growing silence between them distances them further, Kylo knows it’s mostly his fault. He’s the one that constantly instigates their arguments, but she just has a way of setting him off, pushing his buttons to make him react. He turns back to walk toward the library before changing his mind. He mumbles to himself, trying to find a coherent sentence in his rambling. He teeter-totters between walking to his car and confronting Rey.

Rey acts quickly to gather her things. She’s just about ready to run out and tear into Kylo but his melancholic attitude threads a faint guilt through her. And suddenly she’s just tired of the fighting. As she stuffs her bags, a raucous ringing jolts her. The bright screen on her phone has Rose’s smile plastered across it.

“Rose?” With the phone between her ear and shoulder, Rey continues packing up.

“Thank fuck you’re alive! Did you not get my texts? I‘ve barely heard from you for weeks and then Sabine at work mentioned you’ve been in the shop when I’m not there, arguing with some gigantic handsome man? Are you avoiding me on purpose? Who is he? What if he had hurt you? I would have never known!” Rose gasps loudly on her end. “REY, HAVE WE NOT WATCHED ENOUGH CRIME DOCUMENTARIES?”

“Rose. Rose. ROSE.” Rey tries to pacify her rambling friend. “I’m really sorry I haven’t called. I’ve been so busy, and didn’t consider how worried you’d be. But really, I’m fine.”

Rey rubs her forehead, feeling sluggish and exhausted for excuses. “How about I make it up to you?”

“My choice?”

“Whatever you want.”

Rose doesn’t miss a beat. “Tomorrow night. We’re going dancing, and you can’t say no!”

“UGGGH!”

“And I’m borrowing your clothes!”

“Fine,” she sighs.

Rose squeals with deafening excitement. “But don’t think you’re off the hook, hon. I’m gonna need details”

“Later, Rose, I gotta go.” Rey hangs up and sprints out of the library, hoping she can catch up to Kylo.

Down the paved sidewalk, Rey slows down as she spots him. His head is in his hands and he seems to be talking to himself.

Is he on the phone? Rey creeps in closer, his back still to her.

She hears him mutter and can barely make out the words, “Rey, I don’t know how to say this. FUCK! Rey I—“

“Yes?”

Kylo pivots to face her, alarmed and horrified at the sight of her before him.

Rey’s mouth twitches up in a coy smile, satisfied to toy with him. “Go on, then.”

He runs his hands through his raven locks, and exhales loudly. Looking her right in the eye, he speaks softly. “May I buy you a drink?”

To Kylo’s surprise, Rey acquiesces. He holds out his hand and she places her bag inside it. They walk a few more blocks, and Rey points out a small dive with neon signage. She ducks in and heads for the bar, sitting on the corner stool, prompting Kylo to take the corner seat opposite hers.

“Two shots of tequila and two brews, please.”

The bartender nods and immediately serves up Rey’s order.

“Why don’t you slow down there?” Kylo’s jibes.

“Come on, don’t act like you don’t need it. We’ve worked late nearly every night since we started. Even the last six weekends.” The tequila shot glides across the bar top, pushed by Rey enticing him to take it.

They cheers and throw back their shots.

Rey sucks on a piece of lime, and Kylo immediately gulps downs a third of his beer.

“You wanted to tell me something?” Mercilessly, she dives into it.

“I’ve been dying to tell you, Rey,” Kylo hesitates before continuing. “There’s no excuse for how I’ve acted with you, from our first meeting, I made everything difficult. You don’t have to forgive me but I am sorry.”

Rey pores over Kylo’s face, analyzing his expression. She smiles, reaches for her glass and says, “I can tell you mean that,” before taking a long sip.

“And...?” Kylo’s

“It’s about bloody time! You’ve been wringing your hands about this for days.” She’s teasing him, but it puts him at ease.

Kylo chuckles uncharacteristically, and Rey follows until they’re both laughing lightheartedly. It’s the first time she’s seen him genuinely smile, and her brain immediately catalogues the moment.

“An apology though, I get the feeling you don’t hand those out often.” She shrugs uneasily. “I haven’t been very pleasant to you either, though it was mostly in self defense, I’m not proud of it.”

“Is that an apology?” He chides softly.

Rey snorts lightly. “No,” she can’t tell if he’s kidding with her. “It’s not. I’m only acknowledging my own petty behavior.”

He hums affirmatively.

Rey blushes and fiddles with the napkin in front of her. “Anyway, how did you end up working for Snoke?”

He’s not sure he can recall a time he didn’t know Snoke. When he was a child maybe, and more preoccupied with his parent’s lack of concern for him. It was around the time he got expelled and changed schools, when they all came to live closer to his uncle. “I’ve known him for a long time.”

“Family friend?” She asks, trying to make a logical connection.

“No. He became my mentor when I was young, 13 or so.” That’s all he offers.

She’s not sure what would be considered normal in a nuclear family but an older man befriending a young boy out of nowhere smells foul to her. Did his parents not care?

“He shaped me into the man I am.” It’s a sad confession, one she doesn’t think he meant to make. Kylo’s voice strains when he talks about Snoke. It’s obvious to her he’s unhappy working for the man but there’s something deeper there. Sinister layers she’s not sure she wants to peel back, instead she tries to diffuse the tension.

“Hey, let’s play a game. You tell me three facts about yourself, two are true and one is false. If I can guess your lie then you take a shot, if I’m wrong then I take the shot. Then we switch.” Rey’s eyes are filled with a glee than can only accompanied by trouble.

She holds up two fingers at the barkeep and points at their shot glasses.

Kylo furrows his brow in hesitation but relents to her wishes. “Okay just give me time to think of something.”

It takes him a moment to come up with a few innocuous facts. Rey waits, patiently stroking the rim of her glass.

“My father is an accomplished pilot, calligraphy is my only hobby, and I’m really bad at braiding hair.” Kylo leans back, waiting for her guess.

Rey is stumped immediately, she hardly knows a thing about him. Any one of those could be a lie.

“Working out isn’t one of your hobbies? I’d assume otherwise just from looking at you,” she says jokingly, and entirely too quick to conceal the fact that she has definitely been checking him out. A slip of the tongue he hopefully ignores.

“That’s discipline, not enjoyment.” Without even trying, his gravely deep voice flusters her, and she continues talking, faster than before as to not linger on the sensation.

“Uhh I don’t know your dad, or how often you... braid hair but I think calligraphy is the lie?” Her eyes narrow uncertainly.

“Wrong.”

“WHAT?! Wait, really? A big tough man like you loves the art of calligraphy?” The joy she feels is ridiculous, as if she just learned his dirtiest secret. 

“Been practicing for years. I was lonely often as a child, I loved solitary tasks. I don’t get to do it often, but it’s muscle memory so I like to at least keep it up enough these days.” Kylo swigs the last of his beer, and orders another.

It’s surprisingly delightful to see a peek behind the facade he seem to present to the world. The part of Rey that knows what it’s like to grow up lonely sympathizes with him. Her face softens as she begins to see him in a different light.

“Don’t forget to take your medicine, Rey.” He pushes the shot glass closer to her, mirroring her earlier movements. She slams it back and lets out a noise that makes Kylo chuckle once more.

“So what’s your lie?” Rey finally asks, curious about the man before her.

“I’m actually pretty good at braiding hair.”

“Do you braid your own? Or...?” Finishing her sentence gives her trouble, maybe it’s his girlfriend. Does he even have a girlfriend? She really shouldn’t care, it would mortify her to even ask. They don’t know each other like that.

He clears his throats, and says in a rush “My mother taught me, it’s a cultural custom.”

“Oh” That’s not what she expected him to say, but even a man like Kylo comes from somewhere, everyone does except for her.

“Give it to me whenever you’re ready.” The low way he says this sounds completely filthy to her ears, and it draws her from her melancholic thoughts.

“Let’s see...” Rey titters, drawing a blank on what to say. “I used to dumpster dive, I know three languages, and taught myself how to build computers.”

Kylo’s face scrunches up with disapproval, he knows she learned to build computers on her own. Having read a complete file on her gives him a totally unfair advantage. He’s not sure about the other two. Trying hard not to dwell on the reason why she’d ever do this, he says, “Well you’re a definitely a dumpster diver, so you have to be lying about knowing three languages, Rey.”

“That’s not fair!” Rey scowls and begrudgingly reaches for the second shot glass. “You know things about me.”

“Shot in the dark.” He shrugs and waits a beat before asking, “Why’d you do it?”

It’s her turn to shrug, and the thought occurs to her that perhaps she should be embarrassed by her past actions but he doesn’t make her feel that way. “Computer parts, anything to scavenge for money. There was always something to find rooting through the trash, that means a lot to those with so little.”

She brings the shot glass up to her lips, but a hand reaches over and stops her before she can tip it back. She watches as Kylo drinks half of it and hands her back the warm shot glass. “It’s only fair we both drink.”

An already lightheaded Rey tips back the glass and finishes the remaining liquid.

Deciding this game isn’t worth getting smashed over, they chat comfortably, nursing what’s left of their beers. Rey tells him amusing stories from when she finally left the system. Like the time she entered a pie eating contest for the prize money and got third place. She barely made rent that month, but she decides to leave that part of the story out. She says she always loved moving to places with pets, and as soon as she moved into her first apartmentshe went out and got BB from a rescue. “It’s been the two of us together for a long time, he’s a bit of an old man now.” She speaks of the feline as if he was the light of her life, it’s endearing. Pulling out her phone, she shows him a gallery’s worth of pictures of BB.

“I didn’t know you were a part time cat photographer.” He’s surprised when she giggles absentmindedly at his comment. This, just talking to her, suddenly feels so natural, so easy.“I thought I heard meowing in your apartment. I should probably come and try to make a better impression on him.” _And you._

“I don’t know, BB’s very picky.” She leans forward, feeling fuzzy from the alcohol, and pokes him softly on the arm.“I don’t wanna keep talking about myself. Tell me something about you.”

She smiles expectantly, wanting to hear his own stories. No one has ever asked Kylo about himself, not in such an indulgent manner. He’s not quite sure what to say, yet Rey hangs on his every word, like he’s the most captivating person in the room. He finds himself divulging small details about himself that he’s never told anyone because no one ever bothered to ask. Like how growing up he wanted to be a pilot, just like his dad, or how he hated his ears when he was young, that he was afraid he’d never grow into them and, as a result, has always had hair long enough to cover them up.

Instinctively, Rey reaches over and gently pushes his hair back. Her fingertip runs along the outer edge of Kylo’s ear; her breath tickles his face when she talks. “I think you grew into them.”

Their eyes meet as she reclines back, a yearning passing through them both before Rey scrambles to look away. Reaching into her purse, she semi frantically searches for quarters to put into the dusty jukebox in the corner. _What the hell am I doing?_ She goes over to play a song, leaving Kylo to sit with the uncomfortably warm feeling in his chest.

He settles the bill, and watches her sway her hips softly to the rhythm, letting himself enjoy this new, strangely buoyant feeling. Rey’s song ends and she returns to finish her beer.

“BB will probably eat me in my sleep if I don’t go home and feed him right now.” Her face is flushed, she can feel it. The alcohol is partly to blame, as is the man in front of her, but she doesn’t dare to think that.

“Let me walk you.” Kylo grabs the bag off her chair, placing a hand on her lower back to lead her out.

The sensation pools in Rey’s body like lead. “S-sure.”

Somewhere along the way, the distance between them breaches. Walking shoulder to shoulder, brushing each other with every step, Kylo eyes her sidelong.

“Thank you for tonight,” he rumbles above her. “For letting me to talk to you.”

They stop at the foot of her front steps.

“It was fun. Turns out you can be pretty pleasant, sometimes.” A smirk is on her lips.

Kylo comes closer, and the scent of his cologne quickly fills her nostrils, his body heat invades her space, and she raises a hand, placing it softly on his broad chest. It’s an automatic motion she doesn’t notice until Kylo’s hand comes up to rest over hers. Their breathing is shallow, his eyes are glued to her lips and Rey glances down to his, struck by intrusive thoughts of what it would be like to kiss him.

Interrupting the rapture of the moment, Rey flexes her hand under Kylo’s. She reaches into her pocket for her keys, trying hard to hide the blushing heat she feels on her cheeks.

Kylo’s heart is racing, feeling robbed as she pulls away.

“See you later.” Rey’s voice is breathy as she reaches the top step.

“Rey.”

She turns to see Kylo walking up the stairs, her bag in hand. They don’t break eye contact as Rey reaches for it, their fingers grazing in the exchange.

“Sleep well, Rey.” Kylo smiles at her crookedly, putting a lump in her throat.

“Night.” Rey slips in the door behind her, feeling a bit weaker in the knees than she’d care to admit.

Elated by his evening with Rey, Kylo practically glides home; head swimming as he replays the night in his head. Launching himself carelessly on his bed, he lies face up contemplating the unexpected giddy feeling heavy in his chest.

The vibration of his cell phone disrupts his reverie, UNKNOWN is displayed on the screen. He already knows who it is before he answers.  
  
Snoke’s voice dampens his mood. “Kylo Ren.” The way he says his name never fails to feel like an insult. “I trust you’ve made progress with our friend.”

“Everything is operating smoothly, and well ahead of schedule as you wanted.”

“And Ms. Niima?”

“She’s doing an incredible job, we can trust her to see it through.” Kylo adds, failing to leave the interest out of his voice.

“Does she still detest you?” Snoke’s derisive tone lances Kylo’s ego.

“I don’t believe so. I don’t know.” Kylo offers as little information as possible, feeling protective of his intimate moments with Rey.

“Disappointing. I expect a more detailed report the next time we speak.”

The line clicks.

Just like that, the entire evening is besmirched by Snoke’s call. Left with nothing to do but struggle with his warring emotions, Kylo’s not entirely sure if he’s deceiving Rey or himself.


	4. Emotional Audit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When their work hits a bump in the road, Kylo and Rey are forced to take a breather. Will their burgeoning feelings come to a head?
> 
> In which these two don’t know how to deal with feelings.
> 
> I don’t know what constitutes a slow burn but I guarantee there’s some good stuff coming.

That Saturday morning feels different for Rey, she awakes later than usual despite having slept fitfully once again. BB is biting her toes, complaining that he hasn’t been fed yet this morning. Rey knows BB loves when she’s around, so he’s been especially cross with her these past few weeks. _Maybe I should have Kylo come up here to work sometime. He wasn’t so bad last night._ For a fleeting moment, her stomach is filled with butterflies as she remembers his face when she touched him, how youthful his smile makes him look. She writhes in her bed, groaning loudly at her own body’s reaction. Rey jumps up convinced this feeling must be something else, hunger or just some passing bug, but when she pictures Kylo’s lopsided grin directed at her... it’s enough to make her leap out of bed.

She busies herself after breakfast, starting laundry, petting and grooming BB; rearranging her plants as she waters them. They’ve been going at it seven days a week, working 12 hour days for a 6 weeks straight, it’s extinguishing all her motivation for work. It was Kylo’s idea to start late on Saturdays, either he feels as worn out as she does or he’s taking pity on her. After all of her chores, it’s only late morning. There’s plenty more to take care of her around her apartment, but its time to start working anyway. When Rey logs into the Skywalker servers, she stumbles across encrypted communication being ferried back and forth between Leia Organa and Poe Dameron. She hurries to decrypt it, pausing only to contact Kylo.

“Rey?”

“Get over here as soon as you can, I’ve got something.” The urgency in her voice doesn’t leave room for banter.

“Be right there.” Kylo hangs up, grabs his jacket and car keys in a flash slamming the door behind him.

Reaching Rey’s front door, Kylo presses the button beside her name feeling more nervous than days prior.

“I’m down here when you’re ready,” is all he says when she answers.

“What? No, just come up.”

The front door buzzes loudly and Kylo makes his way up the five story building. He hasn’t been up to her apartment since they first met. He’s not so stupid as to not notice they way her breath hitched when he approached her last night, it had taken everything within him not to close their distance and kiss her then. He’s wary of whether or not she realizes what this invitation means to him. Suppressing his worry over Rey’s motives, Kylo knocks softly on her door.

“Come in!” Rey’s loud cheery voice eases some tension Kylo didn’t notice he was holding in his shoulders.

Reaching the sunny living room, a loud clatter comes from the kitchen. He’s met by the sight of her bare legs as she balances precariously on the counter, reaching for a tea kettle on the shelf way above her. Kylo’s mouth dries up the moment his eyes land on her. She’s stretched out, her crop top is riding up steadily with the reach of her arms. His angle below her provides him with a view of her tanned stomach, the curve of her breast coming to pointed peaks hidden below the fabric, directly at his eye level. 

He clears his throat uneasily, unable to hide his shameless gawking any longer.

“Aah! I didn’t know you were right there!” Rey hangs tightly onto the cabinet she was using to steady herself and glowers at him.

“These cabinets are so high. Give me your hand, now you get to help me.”

She holds her hand out expectantly until he reaches to take it. Her palm is soft, radiating warm that threatens to melt into the rest of his body. Standing up on the counter, using their connected hands as a balance, Rey finally reaches her tea kettle. Kylo takes it out of her hands and places it at her feet on the smooth surface. Effortlessly, he reaches to help her down. Before she can decline any further assistance, Rey feels Kylo’s expansive hands on her rib cage lifting her down to the floor. It’s a smooth movement, and they end up flush against one another in the small kitchen.

“T-thank you.” Suddenly aware of her state of undress, Rey flushes brightly and turns clumsily to fill her kettle. “Tea?”

Rifling through her cabinets to find teacups, she offers him a cup of Earl Grey. He says yes, pleased to watch her stumble around in her kitchen until she excuses herself while the water boils, entering her bedroom on the other side of the apartment.

Changing out of her sleep clothes, Rey can still feel the impression of Kylo’s hands on her, her nipples stiffen in response. She hasn’t gotten laid in so long, her body’s just reacting to a strong man. _This is normal, it’s KYLO! Just Kylo, who is intimidating... and soft._ When did she start thinking of him that way? Dispelling her stray thoughts, Rey marches back in to her kitchen. She prepares their tea and brings it to the living room, where Kylo has settled on her small couch, observing her as she carefully brings their steaming cups over.

“Sorry you had to see that, you got here so fast.” Rey sips her tea, hiding the majority of her face. “I forgot myself for a moment.”

“I wish you’d be more forgetful.” He says it so quietly, so personally. Rey can’t help her responding smile as she grabs her laptop, switching subjects fast, deciding it’s best to ignore his comment.

“This morning, I tracked down an encrypted message sent to Poe Dameron from Leia Organa. The timeline for the deal is moving up, in two months time it will be finalized. In the meantime, Poe’s department is overseeing an audit that may disrupt our work. They’ll be taking inventory for the two departing shareholders, to give them a fair percentage of their initial capital investment. They’re bringing in outside consultants” Rey changes seats and scoots closer to show him the exchanges.

Kylo is silent as he reads through the messages. “We need to know their schedule now, find out what changes we need to reverse. You’re gonna have to fill me in on the changes you’ve made.”

“You’re right, but we’ll also need to be on surveillance twice as heavily now. Remotely tail Leia, watch her every move, as well as Poe’s. Can you find out who the auditors will be?”

“I’m on it.” Kylo immediately reaches for his phone, making multiple phone calls.

Rey dives back into work, making sure to do a final sweep for information on Snoke’s hideouts, known associates, and suspected holdings. They had so much on Snoke, what were they gonna do with this information? She thinks back to when she first found their files on Snoke, she copied them to her personal drive. Maybe she should feel bad about it but this isn’t her first time delving into the dark side... it never hurts to have leverage. Her initial probe into Skywalker’s data storage showed a complete lack of organization and scant security but she doesn’t want to take a chance on missing anything. From here on out, her focus will be on making sure their steps have been untraceable. There’s still more intel to lift from their system, but there’s no time. Easy when you have all the time in the world, exhausting when you’re forced to work around the clock. With hope she’ll be able to make sure the information Kylo is having her double check won’t be noticed.

Kylo paces in the kitchen for what seems like hours, loudly demanding information from countless contacts on his phone. Nobody asks for details, they know better than to question him. Once he comes back in asking for pen and paper, he jots down a handful of words and finally gets off the phone. He looks to Rey triumphantly, shaking the loose leaf paper in his hand.

“Got ‘em and I didn’t even have to yell at anybody.” Kylo says wryly.

Rey scoffs and takes the paper from him. “You were yelling the entire time.”

“It was polite yelling, which is too considerate for the type of people I conduct business with.”

He sits beside her on the plush couch letting their thighs touch, Rey wrenches her mind away from the heat of his leg on hers and begins a search for the two names on the paper, Amilyn Holdo and Hera Syndulla. Consultants from an outside financial firm, called Resistance Accounting, hacking into their system would be necessary too. Rey tries not to think of how many felonies she’s racking up with this job alone. This is beyond reckless but she’s named her price, this is the last chance. It’s past dark as she finally accesses their files.

“YES!” Rey jumps up from her seat, rousing Kylo from ‘resting his eyes’ on her shoulder, as he called it.

“We did it! I found the document detailing their audit. Which financial records will be pulled up, assessment of current projects and ventures analyzed for future profits. With luck they won’t go any further back than we did when we manicured the numbers, which is pretty far back.” She climbs into her sofa chair, lifting BB onto her lap and sighing loudly. “It’s a weekend job for them, getting overtime. Nothing to do now but wait for Monday. If we’ve done a bad job, we’re fucked, but if we’ve done well... we can keep this going as planned.”

“We can’t keep working tomorrow?” Kylo’s tone is low, the thought of not seeing her the most unpleasant thing he can think of right now.

“We could... but I was hoping for a day off?”

Rey’s wide smile is so stunning, the sight of it strikes him unexpectedly and he returns it with ease, realizing he will never deny her as long as she always smiles at him like this.

He leans forward tentatively to kiss her, touch her, he’s not sure... his body acting without consent from his brain.

A loud KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK startles them both.

“REYY!!! REY! Don’t be a jerk and open the door!” Rose’s voice is muffled through the door but she’s yelling loud enough to get her message across.

Rey scrambles to open the door, blindsided by her friend’s arrival. _How could i forget?_

She cracks the door open to see Rose standing there, arms full with make up bags, and several other bags filled with high heels, and hair extensions.

“Hurry up and let me in! I’m loaded up, and we’ve only got a few of hours to get ready!” Rose barges in, headed straight for the living room to dump the contents of her arms. “Thank god your neighbor let me in.”

“Wait, Rose. Hold on!” Rey walks hot on her heels, failing to slow her friend down.

She runs into Rose’s back, who’s stunned to see a mountain of a man standing in the living room of her best friend’s apartment. Rose’s bags fall on the floor around her.

“He-llo, sir. I didn’t realize Rey had company. I’m Rose.” She turns back to look at Rey, mouthing a huge WTF before lunging forward to shake Kylo’s hand.

Kylo shakes the tiny woman’s hand awkwardly, a stern “Kylo Ren” is all he grumbles before Rey snatches her friend’s hand away and leads Rose to the bedroom instructing Kylo to wait before closing the door behind them.

As soon as they are in the other room Rose begins poking her friend playfully. “Rey, you saucy minx! Why are you hiding this man? He’s gorgeous!”

“The walls are thin here, Rose.” Rey whispers through clenched teeth. “I just work with him, we’ve been really busy today and I didn’t realize the time. I’ll ask him to go”

“Go? Nooo. Can he dance? Let’s invite him.” Mischief is clear on her dear friend’s face.

Rey’s head spins with the thought of asking him to come out with them. She can barely untangle the sensations that have started to surface within her when he’s around, especially after whatever last night was.

“Please just behave, I’ll tell him we have plans and we can go out just us, like you wanted.” Rose scowls playfully at Rey before conceding to her puppy eyes.

“Fine, but I don’t believe for a second you’re not attracted to all that out there. I can tell you’re not wearing a bra, is that on purpose?.”

Exasperated by her friend’s shrewd observation, Rey exits the room.

Kylo may not be around women often but he knows enough to realize when it’s time to go. Rey doesn’t need him hanging around, he looks in the kitchen for his personal items.

“Are you leaving?”

Is he imagining the disappointment in her voice? Or is it just him that’s displeased he has to leave?

“Yeah, it’s obvious you had something planned.” He bridges the space between them, his deep voice reverberating off her chest. “You were amazing today, Rey. I’ll call you later.”

He leans down and gently kisses the crown of her head, leaving her rooted to that spot in the kitchen; a flood of warmth emanating from where his lips touched her.

Walking back through the living room Kylo tries to ignore the grin on Rose’s face as she says, “Nice meeting you.”

Kylo mumbles back a polite reply and zooms out the door.

Rose runs into her friend’s kitchen, incredulous of what just occurred. Something was clearly interrupted when she came in, the nature of Kylo and Rey’s relationship may not be totally obvious to both of them but Rose has a keen eye for unbridled sexual tension and the tender moment between them in the kitchen sealed the deal.

“What’s going on here?” Rose’s sly tone brings Rey back to the present.

“Sorry, we were just really busy today. He knows we have plans.” Rey’s best attempt at nonchalance is betrayed by the slight flush of her cheeks. She slumps down on her couch with a sigh, Rose comes to sit by her spellbound friend. 

“Busy huh?” The double entendre couldn’t be more obvious but Rey looks up to see Rose’s eyebrows waggling suggestively.

“With work!” Rey grabs a decorative pillow and buries her reddened cheeks in it.

“Suuuure, Rey but throw me a bone. You say you were working together but last time I saw you, you were going to take some time off. What happened?”

“Rose, it’s just a great opportunity. I wish I could tell you more, but I shouldn’t.” Rey dithers and bites her lip, afraid of her friend’s judgement. From past experience, she knows Rose doesn’t approve of what she has called “felonious” jobs. 

“Are you safe?” She hates when Rey has to keep secrets, it has always confused Rose that Rey is the most open person she knows with so many secrets in her life.

“I’m being as safe as I can. I promise, once this gig is up... everything will be taken care of.” The implication in Rey’s tone suggest the less Rose knows the better.

Rey’s wan smile does little to convince Rose but she knows her friend, and there’s nothing that can be done to persuade her to stop something once she’s started.

“Just tell me one thing, Rey” Rose says quietly. “What about Kylo? What’s his deal?”  
  
“He’s not so bad.” Her tone is noncommittal.  
  
”You trust him?”  
  
She thinks about it carefully, and though she doesn’t voice it, she can feel it. She does trust him. “Maybe.”

With little else to say between them Rose squeezes Rey’s hand before rushing her off to scrub down, promising to make her pay for being so slippery with her the past few weeks. Rey’s only fear is how crazy of an outfit Rose is going to put her in as revenge. The warmth of the hot water rushes over Rey’s head, soothing her nerves and carrying them down the drain with any worries, for now she’d enjoy herself with Rose. For tonight, she can let loose.

Rose is a woman of action, she has never seen Rey worked up about a man like this. If Rose is being honest, the few times she’s witnessed Rey dating have been with little enthusiasm on her part. Rey may not want to act on her apparent crush but Rose is not above giving her a little push over the edge. Shifting her eyes from Rey’s bathroom door to the phone in her hand, Rose is careful to hurry finding Kylo Ren’s number in Rey’s phone. In the background Rey is humming as the water runs. She find his number and types a short text on her own phone.

**Tattooine Nightclub, 10 PM. Rey will be there. -Rose**

Wickedly pleased with herself, she puts both phones down and begins to plan her and Rey’s outfits for the night with even more mischief in mind.

Kylo is brooding in his apartment, trying to figure out if he should keep working, or get drunk. Neither sound like much fun, and his only other option is to think about Rey. Something he hasn’t stopped doing for weeks now, he can’t seem to untangle her from his life, can’t recall how things were before he met her. He’s caught himself daydreaming about her instead of working, wondering what it would be life if he had met her any other way. If he had the fortune of being someone else. His phone chirps, and he’s surprised by his incoming text. Does Rey want him there? It’s not as if he has any other plans. He doesn’t have friends that make sure he’s not working his life away like she does. It would give him a chance to go out, free of any obligations, free of disguise. He closes his phone, his heart already beating wildly at the chance to see her again.

Rey finds herself sitting at her vanity, Rose fussing with her hair behind her. When she exited the warm confines of her steamy bathroom, Rose already had her own long dark tresses trailing elegantly behind her. She held up extensions in Rey’s chestnut hair color, and ordered her to sit. Utterly at Rose’s mercy, all Rey can do is follow orders, applying shimmering eyeshadow that brings out the blues and greens in her hazel eyes, nearly giving up when Rose hands her eyelash extensions and glue. Rose is really going all out, and Rey is sure they’re nowhere close to done.

Once they’re both made up, Rose scours through Rey’s closet looking for their dresses. All the girls night out’ dresses that she’s forced Rey to buy in the past shopping sprees are hidden in the back. Dresses that are wasting away in this dusty walk-in closet. She emerges joyfully brandishing two minidresses. A skin tight, cold shoulder, powder blue number for herself and a short, jade plunging wrap dress with spaghetti straps for Rey. Grabbing the flimsy green fabric from her friend’s hand, Rey resigns to her fate and changes.

Standing in front of the mirror, Rey thinks there’s no way she should leave the house like this. “How did you convince me to buy this tiny dress?” The plunging neckline leaves two triangular panels barely covering her bust. The green hem ends at the top of her thighs, a dramatic slit opens high on her right leg nearly exposing her pelvic bone. The thong that she’s been forced to wear as a result is already riding up her ass uncomfortably. She wears strappy tan heels, and simple gold jewelry, chestnut hair falling in soft waves.

“Paige and I ganged up on you when you wouldn’t buy it because you look so HOT in it!.” Rose comes up besides her, looking right as rain in her own stunning blue ensemble. “Oh momma, we are getting laid tonight.” Rey rolls her eyes but Rose’s satisfied grin is contagious and Rey beams with her own corresponding one.

The nightclub has a long line, but Rose weasels their way to the front. Rey doesn’t know how to react to the lustful leer the bouncer gives them before letting them through.

Rose pulls Rey to an already claimed table when she spots her friends, Kaydel and Jess, waiting for them. Kaydel Connix and Jess Pava have been together since college,Rose introduced them and bemoans the fact that she made herself their third wheel ever since. Rey’s not close to them but has always admired their unflinching devotion to one another. They fall into loud chatter and gossip about people Rey doesn’t know. She excuses herself to go to the bar, the least she could do is order some drinks while they catch up. The bodies on the dance floor move to the music and Rey sways as she waits at the bar for the bartender to notice her. Suddenly a clammy hand clasps her shoulder and she swivels to find an inebriated man trying to chat her up, standing uncomfortably close to her.

“Honey, you here alone?”His slurred speech is accompanied by spittle. The man’s hand moves slowly as if to paw at her but there’s not even a chance for Rey to react violently before his hand is snatched away. A velvet voice thunders behind her, a menace she recognizes immediately.


	5. In Too Deep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sweaty dancing, should I say more? We’re getting a little spicy, y’all..

“She’s not alone.”  
  


Releasing the sleazeball’s arms with a shove, Kylo watches as he stumbles away, lucky to leave with only a bruised ego. “Are you okay?” He asks, watching the greasy head as it disappears into the crowd.

Behind him, Rey mumbles, “I’m fine. I could’ve taken care of him.”  
  
He smiles, turning to face her. “I don’t doubt it.”

She’s radiant even in this low light, as if she was shining from within. Her beaming smile is like the sun, cracking through and flooding the dark crevices of his heart with light. The rest of the world melts away and his focus tunnels until there is only her. His gaze follows down the line of her body, forcing him to suppress an indecent moan. A hunger inside him awakens, his hands itch to run down the length of her lean legs, and worship at her feet. 

“What are you doing here!?” He doesn’t answer, and she finds it amusing that she’s stunned him if the glazed look in his eyes is anything to go by. “Kylo?”

“Are you having me followed?” She says a little louder, the edge in her voice is unconvincing in contrast with the smirk on her lips.

“If anyone was going to follow you, it would be me” He gives her an equally devious smile, his hand brushes her shoulder softly, admiringly. “Plus, I was invited.” Rey shivers involuntarily, her body relishing the small attention. And then her brain kicks in.

“Invited?” She scrunches her eyebrows angrily, and mutters under her breath, “Rose is so fucking dead.”

He steps closer, leaning in, caging her against the bar with his arms, speaking softly in her ear. “Are you not happy to see me?”

“Just surprised.” She instinctively tugs down her dress as she feels the flush creep up her neck, his scent tantalizingly close. He’s caught her off guard, caressing her, teasing her. _I can play this game._ Any caution that fogged her mind clears away, as she lightly drags her finger down his arm.

“Drink?” Before he can answer, she squirms in his arms, slowly turning around to flag the bartender down. Kylo stiffens as she firmly rubs her ass against his crotch before leaning over the bar to order two drinks. He stumbles through his own drink order and Rey can’t help but feel a little smug about it.

“Let’s go see what our mutual friend Rose has to say for herself.” Grabbing both her and Rose’s drinks, Rey tilts her head in invitation for Kylo to follow her back to their table. His free hand comes to rest on her lower back as always and her entire focus clings to the sensation. 

Rose’s signature excited screeching shout greets them, “YOU MADEIT!” She takes the drink from Rey’s hand, with her mouth split open in a guilty grin. 

“I did, thank you for inviting me.” Kylo takes the seat beside Rey, stretching a long arm around her. Kylo courteously introduces himself to Kay and Jess.

Rey pinches the back of Rose’s arm, who loudly whispers, “OWWW.” As she rubs the tender flesh, she narrows her eyes at Rey. “Don’t be rude, I did you a favor.” Rey rolls her eyes.

  
“So how did the two of you meet?” Kaydel asks, signaling to Kylo and Rey.

They both stiffen but Rey deflects, “Pfft it’s pretty boring actually. Through work.”

Rose chooses that moment to throw back the remnants of her glass and shout, “enough talking, we need to start dancing!”   
  
Kay and Jess, agree and hit the dance floor with Rose following close behind, but not before she has a chance to look back proudly at her handiwork. 

Rey sips on her drink, watching Kylo from the rim of her glass. “I’ve never seen you so dressed down.” The fitted dark tee he’s wearing is far more casual than his usual button ups and tailored jackets. It suits him well.  
  
”Did you expect me to come in a suit?” 

“I didn’t expect you at all, but since you came...” Rey finishes her drink and grasps his hand from her shoulder. “Let’s find out of if you can dance.”  
  
The crowd closes in on them as Rey guides him deeper onto the dance floor. She turns back to him, pulling him in by the arm until he wraps it around her waist. She starts to dance, swaying her hips into him. It’s easy to follow her rhythm, tucking his body against hers as her hands roam over him. Song after song plays, and she grazes every inch of him, when he sees her head thrown back, he nuzzles into her neck. She’s enjoying this as much as he is. She’s dragging her fingers through his hair when he plants a soft kiss on her neck. 

He moves so well for a man his size. Rey turns away from the magnetic pull of him, dancing with her arms in the air when she feels him behind her, he runs his hand down her side, caressing her as their centers meet. They dance until they’re sweaty and drunk on each other. The tempo changes again and Rey finally collapses into his arms, looking up with a flushed smile. Before he can overthink it, Kylo acts on impulse and grabs her chin, pressing his lips softly against hers as Kaydel comes barreling through the crowd with Jess in tow, yelling Rey’s name over the thumping music.   


“REY!” There’s no missing the mischievous gleam in Kay’s eyes, she knows what she interrupted. “It’s pretty late, we’re gonna head home. Will you tell Rose? She was dancing with someone but we couldn’t find her.”

Rey nods her head, “of course, I’ll find her right now!” Rey hugs them both before they leave, and she immediately leaves the dance floor, refusing to look Kylo in the eye despite her hand tightly gripping his as they walk through the crowded establishment. Rey is hoping to catch a glimpse of Rose, and she begins to worry until they come across her on their second lap. She’s sitting in VIP, wrapped around her finger is a dark, debonair man, whispering in Rose’s ear. They giggle conspicuously, Rose is practically in his lap as he plays with the hem of her skirt.

“There you are!” Rey shouts, getting Rose’s attention. Rose whispers in the man’s ear, and he comes over to make sure they are allowed in. He comes back to sit with Rose, looking comfortable as she settles back into him, she thanks him with a peck on the cheek.

“Looks like you’ve had a good time,” Rose teases Rey before continuing with a broad smile, “This is Finn. He’s such a good dancer. Finn, these are my friends Rey and Kylo.” 

“Finn Storm.” The man extends his hand in a friendly greeting.

Rey goes immediately clammy at the contact between their hands. Her face is expressionless, masking the horror she experiences below the surface as she realizes the man before her is the same one whose privacy she’s been violating the past few weeks. Rey hardly notices as Kylo does the same. Neither of them offer up their last names.

Panicking and with no other exit strategy, Rey sidles up to Kylo, letting his arm drape over her. “Kay and Jess have gone. We were thinking of heading out,” above her Kylo’s head snaps toward her, “Did you want to come with us?”

The dissolute smile on Rose’s lips communicates her plans. “No, I’m gonna hang out with Finn for while longer. Call you later?”

“You better. Please be safe!” Rey leans in to talk in her friend’s ear and kisses her cheek in a rush to leave with Kylo.

“You too!” Rose shouts from behind her.

They exit, hands entwined. Rey’s thoughts stray far from the warmth emanating from Kylo, whose sole focus is the hand dwarfed by his own.

This could be nothing. There’s no reason to plan for the worst at this moment.Rey knows that but her spinning mind dredges up every possible scenario.

“What the fuck was that?” Her words come out in a twisted bluster. “Are they on to us?”

“Rey.”

“What are the odds Rose is being strung along by Finn because of us and we’ve already been caught? ”

“Rey.”

“And Rose? She’s an innocent bystander!”

“Rey.”

“Her only mistake is being friends with a criminal. I’ve got to fix this.” Her minds tumbles further away from reason, and worry clutches at her chest, but a stronger force tugs her back, pressing her into a wall. The red brick at her back is chilly in contrast to the man now standing so close, their combined breath heating the air between them.

“I don’t want to think about that right now.” A thumb slowly caresses the edge of her lip, and he presses a chaste kiss in its trail.

His lips completely distract her, a feather touch that is gone too quick and she wants more of.

Before he can pull completely away, she closes the distance and kisses him with equal softness.

Unleashing the damn built between them, they clash with open mouths, tongues lashing out seeking purchase within one another. Completely pinned to the wall, Kylo runs his hands ravenously up her sides, the thin fabric of her dress bunching up with his motions as she lets her own hands roam over his strapping chest, traveling up eagerly to run her fingers through his silky hair. She turns to catch her breath and he ravishes her neck and chest, laving her without restraint until the sensation provokes a moan to slip past Rey’s lips.

“Get a room!” A passing group of guys jeers and wolf whistles at them.

They pull slightly apart fumbling to gather themselves quickly, Rey giggling as Kylo pulls down the dress nearly hitched past her hips. She lays her forehead on his chest, bringing herself back from the brink of combustion.

Kylo kisses her crown, and Rey looks up to meet his eyes, swimming with a desire that’s ready to pull her under like a tidal wave. “Come on, sweetness. Let’s get you home.”

He flags them down a cab, and huddled together in the back seat, Rey traces her fingernails down Kylo’s thigh enjoying the firm feel of the man beneath her hands. He nuzzles his nose into her neck and hair, inhaling her scent; notes of honeysuckle mixed in with her sweat. He nibbles her ear when she softly digs her nails in.

“Have you been purposely teasing me all night?” The low whisper in her ear vibrates straight to her core.

She whispers back a sultry, “what about it?” Her head is buzzing with excitement as he bites his knuckle in response.

They rush out of the cab and into the apartment building, Kylo corners Rey in the stairwell as she stops to remove her heels. He plants a firm kiss on her lips then picks her up in a swift movement, one arm at the crook of her knees while the other supports her back. Rey lets out a yelp that is sure to wake her neighbors and latches on to his neck, burying her face in his scent of leather and oak moss, one she would love to bottle and keep. He leaps in hurried bounds up the stairs, gently setting her down at her front door.

Darkness greets them when Rey’s key turns the lock, she walks confidently through the pitch black space... able to navigate blindly through it, leaving him to trail slowly behind. He sees a flicker of soft lights stream from her open bedroom door.

“Kylo.” The drawn out sound of his name on her lips pulls him toward the glowing haven of her room, Like a siren song meant for him.

Entering the delicately lit confines of her bedroom, he zeroes in on Rey standing at her vanity. Removing her earrings and rings, placing them in a jewelry box before pulling her hair away from her shoulders and locking eyes with Kylo in the mirror. Rey has never felt such a fervent need for another person before. She decides to go for what she wants. “Give me a hand?”

He swallows visibly before sauntering over to her, their gaze unwavering in the mirror’s reflection. Pressing the palm of his hand at her nape, he guides his hand down the length of her spine, finally reaching the zipper and tugging down slowly as the dress comes undone around her shoulders, gathering in an insignificant pile at her feet.

Kylo hisses as he takes in Rey’s willowy frame, looming behind her, consuming the image before him. She’s much smaller than him and his hand reaches out, tenderly tracing the line of the black thong on her hip up to her ribcage, and up until the underside of her breast is smooth against his fingers. Her soft pink nipples pucker at attention, urging him to take one between his fingers and give it a lively tug.

He’s firm yet tender in his veneration, but Rey suddenly feels impatient. She twists to face him, grabbing him by the lapels to kiss him with a force she hadn’t known she was suppressing. Pushing him back, and back until his knees hit her bed, toppling him backward as Rey lands square on top of him. She straddles him with thighs splayed wide to accommodate his size and smirks playfully as she slowly lifts his shirt, relieving him of the frabric as her hands gratuitously stroke his chest.

The growing erection beneath his pants meets the damp triangular scrap of clothing on Rey’s mound and she thrusts eagerly agains it eliciting a strained groan from Kylo.

“Fuck, Rey.” He digs hands into her hips and flips them, pushing her into the mattress and powerfully pinning her beneath him.

Kylo follows the line of her body with his nose, he meets every crook and crevice of her tan skin, stopping at the taut peaks of her breasts, tugging each nipple gently with his teeth. Ultimately letting each one fall out of his mouth with an obscene pop. He continues south, inhaling as he approaches the apex of her legs. Rey buckles when his nose presses directly into the black material.

Rey’s lost in the sensation of his stubble chafing the inside of her thigh, the warm exhalation of Kylo’s breath, the tip of his nose honing in on her already sensitive bundle of nerves. His warmth dissipates and Rey feels the trail of kisses he places down her legs before stopping at her feet, withdrawing his touch for a beat.

“Ky—“

He snatches her legs and hauls her down to the edge of the bed, kneeling between her parted knees as he disposes of the black garment and gently places both of her legs over his shoulders.

Rey looks down to see the gleam in his eyes as he gives her a lascivious smile. “Just like this, I’ve wanted this for quite some time.”

He dives down, licking between her folds as he grips her hips, hands roaming across her stomach as if he’s trying to take her in all at once. Kylo finds the hardened bundle and kisses it, taking it into his mouth, licking and sucking it lightly when Rey lets out a pleasurable squeak. He parts her to look at her splayed before him, and he brings one finger to her entrance coated with desire and plunges it in, his mouth returns more determined than before.

Rey clutches the sheets as another finger joins his first, his tongue lavishing jolts of pleasure that echo throughout her entire body, one cascading on top of the other.

“Kylo. Please....” She whines with delight. “I want you.”

“You have me,” is all he says, his words vibrate around her clit. He doesn’t stop until she climaxes, her legs shaking around his head. When the sensation passes, she sits back on her elbows with a sated smile.

Rey drinks Kylo in, his lips glossy with her arousal, chest corded with muscles and his tented pants slung low on his hips. She lunges up to capture his lips, tasting herself on his tongue. They fall back on the bed together, becoming a tangle of limbs as they explore each other’s bodies with hands and mouths. Together they remove Kylo’s bottoms, Rey gasping as his incredible girth springs free. She leans in grasping him firm, inching her face closer as she takes her tongue and swipes it across his moistened head.

A strangled moan leaves Kylo and he pulls her up quickly so they’re flush against each other’s chest.

“Another time.” His arms nestle around her, he kisses her fervidly and lays her back, her legs draped across his kneeling own.

He runs his fingertip through her crease, increasing her ever-growing wetness, Kylo preens at her responsive body beneath him. “Rey...I don’t have a condom.”

“I’m on the pill.” She offers this up as she continues to stroke him. “And I’m clean. Are you?” Kylo only nods enthusiastically, it’s been so long since he even had sex, she’s the only one who has ever caught his eye. Her lustful gaze is blazing as he positions his cock at her entrance.

Kylo rolls his hips forward, entering her languidly as they both huff out corresponding moans. He continues until he bottoms out completely.

The fullness inside Rey is welcome but as she wiggles her hips, she gasps at the sensation. He’s a big man but he’s managed to wedge himself fully inside of her. The already heightened nerves around Rey’s core receive more friction as he lifts her up to sit on top of him. They begin a steady beat, thrusting in tandem.

Their combined grunts and moans are a cacophony of passionate bliss.

With her hand embedded in his raven hair, Rey pulls at the tresses with every bounce of her hips. Kylo kneads her backside, marking the flesh with his grip. He tunnels in and out, her body embracing him like a satin sheath.

“You’re unbelievable, Rey.” He nips at her shoulder slowly moving up to leave a purple bruising mark on her neck. “You’re going to ruin me for anyone else.”

“Good, I’ve wanted this for some time too,” Rey admits to him... to herself.

He growls and pushes her back on the bed, exiting her briefly before laying her on her side and spreading her legs to take her from behind. Rey immediately backs into him and they are joined once more in a spasm of pleasure, rougher, more hurried than before. She arches back, arms raised to reach for him behind her as he pumps his hips filling her brutally every time. His calloused hand reaches over her hips to find the sensitive nub at her center, rolling the bean between his fingers, creating a friction that dizzies her.

“Do you want to come for me, Rey?” His lips brush her ear, each word a staccato as his fingers devote time to the most sensitive zone of her body.

“YES!”

That familiar bloom of warmth is accumulating at her core, pushing her to the brink as he continues to ravage her.

“Say it.”

“Letmecomeplease!” The words slam together as they rip out of her throat.

Rey unravels around him, groaning loudly as the warm feeling of ecstasy floods her body from head to toe. Kylo erupts, lovingly kissing her neck, their still joined bodies pulsating with sexual afterglow.

He withdraws from between her legs, and Rey turns to face him. Her face is flushed and angelic in the soft light of her bedroom.

“So you’re pretty bossy in AND out of the bedroom.” Her lips part slowly into a coy smile, teasing him.

He reaches behind her to smack her loudly on the bottom, making her squeal as he pulls her closer.

“I think you better watch yourself.” He smooths his hand over her butt cheek, soothing the reddened skin.

Their lips meet tenderly, enjoying a quiet moment before Rey pulls away to stand beside the bed.

“I should really get cleaned up. Probably shouldn’t fall asleep like this.” She gestures down at her naked body but Kylo can find nothing wrong as she stands completely bared to him. 

  
Maybe she wants him to go, but is too nice to say it. He jumps up, gathering his clothes in a hurry, feeling suddenly imposing. 

“What are you doing?” Her brow is furrowed with confusion.

“I don’t want to get in your way. I can go.”

Rey approaches him, shoves the clothes out of his arms and whispers. “Wouldn’t you rather stay with me?”

Kylo’s mouth drops open, he can’t remember the last woman he spent the night with. Much less someone to fall asleep with, to make breakfast for, to have someone want it out of him, for him to want it too.

“I’d spend every night with you if I could.” His voice is low and reverent, and the words tumble out of his mouth easily.

Rey plants a soft kiss on his cheek, her heart hammering away in her chest. Never has anyone ever made her feel so treasured with so few words.

Saying nothing else, she leads him to her restroom where the spray of her shower comes to life. She stands in Kylo’s arms, he rests his chin on her head tucked against his chest. They are both quiet, deep in thought waiting for the water to warm up enough.

“Rey?”

“Yes?”

“You deserve better than the way I treated you before... It won’t happen again.”

Rey peers up at Kylo, his repentance written so clearly on his face, it softens her inside.

“It was horrendous but it’s in the past and you’ve already apologized. Besides, I think you’ve straightened up a bit.”

Kylo’s head cocks to the side.

“Well I’ve heard you mutter several pleases AND thank yous to a barista or two the past few days.”

Kylo rolls his eyes.

“And you’ve managed not to yell at any waitstaff in weeks!” She teases.

“Maybe I’m losing my touch.” He gives her a crooked smile.

“Yes, I think so. How can I be attracted to a man if he’s not a complete brute?”

He pulls her closer, tugging her chin to look up at him. “I’ll always be a brute, sweetheart.”

“Oh, I know.” She gives him a bewitching smile and steps out of his grasp, beckoning him to join her behind the curtain.

They stand under water, the shower head barely clearing Kylo’s shoulders. Rey finds it endearing that he would get in regardless. He washes her delicately with soap, taking warm water to wash the junction of her legs, unable to be anything but deliberate. She’s still sensitive and the sensation is maddening. Rey’s instinct takes over and she returns the favor, lathering up every inch of his body, slowly stroking his member as she pretends to rid him of any remaining bubbles.

Before long, they’re thoroughly rinsed and have little excuse to stay in the shower besides touching each other.

“We can continue this elsewhere if you’d like.” Rey dries herself and Kylo off with the same towel.

She’s so gentle, Kylo wonders how he can ever go back to his previous way of life so devoid of light, devoid of Rey. The attention, mundane yet caring, gives him a head rush.

They slip into bed, facing each other in the dark. Kylo gathers Rey in his arms, her cheek resting on his chest. She listens to his heartbeat, the rise and fall of his chest soothes her.

Her voice comes out in a whisper.

“Have you ever spent all day swimming, and when you finally shower and dry off. Your body feels heavy but your mind is at peace?” She sighs sleepily. “That’s how I feel right now.”

“Tired?” Kylo whispers back.

“Peaceful,” she mumbles sleepily. They both fall asleep within minutes

The darkness of the room throws Kylo, he knows he’s not in his own bed but for a split second can’t remember why. Letting his eyes adjust, he notices Rey’s form tucked against him, a loose sheet covering them both. She looks peaceful, and being here with her feels surreal. His mouth is dry with sleep, thirst must’ve woken him up. Extricating himself from Rey without waking her is easy enough, but walking through her apartment in the dark will be interesting. He tries hard to remember the position of her couch, the short walk from the side table to the kitchen.

Assured the moonlight streaming through her gauzy curtains can lead him to the kitchen, he pads out of her room. Turning her stove light on, he notices BB8, lazily batting his tail back and forth as he lounges on the kitchen table. He pets him, and BB8 meows loudly, nuzzling against Kylo’s knuckles.

“You’re kinda sweet.”

BB8 leaps off the counter to land by his empty food bowl, craning up to meow impatiently at Kylo.

“You sneak, you’re trying to use me.” Kylo finds an opened can of wet cat food in Rey’s fridge. He scoops out a small spoonful and plops it down on with a slap in the food bowl and refills the water bowl.

“That’s all you’re getting out of me, bud.”

Kylo rummages through Rey’s cabinets to find a tall glass, filling and draining it as he stands at her kitchen sink. She’s really worn him out in the most satisfying manner.

He fills the glass once more and raises it to his lips, nearly dropping it when a shrieking wail echoes through the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life is getting in the way but I’m gonna continue this story until it’s done.


	6. Trading Secrets

_The ground is wet, and muddy in places. Her legs grow tired with every sinking step but something urges her to go on. A screams flashes in her brain, yelling at her to run, to hide, the feminine voice filled with fear. Identical terror courses through Rey’s veins, and the woodland is overwhelming as she wanders for days. The tree canopy towers impossibly high overhead and she can’t see the blue of the sky as it disappears. In the darkness, the jagged tree lines and creeping overgrowth are ominous, the woods come alive with a pandemonium of beastly noise. She comes upon a fallen tree, and sitting beside it, bursts into sobs when she hears a slithering voice carried by the wind, calling out to her._

_“Reeey.”_

_She stands, whirling around to look for the source when something ensnares her ankle. Her head snaps down to see vines crawling up her legs faster than she can claw them away, digging thorns into her calves. She’s rooted to the spot, falling over as the green tendrils squeeze her hips and abdomen, encasing her body as she attempts to crawl away. Her air supply is slowly dwindling, every breath drawn burrows barbs deeper into her skin. Her arms are pinned down and when the ivy creeps up her neck, she succumbs to the slow asphyxiation; a woman’s wail resounding in her head as she disappears under the forest floor._

She springs from her bed as if to run from her nightmare but she spills out on the floor, landing with a thud, her throat raspy with the scream that had been hers all along. The echo of it reverberates off her bedroom walls, loud in the silence surrounding her. Rey curls into herself, hugging her knees and letting herself sob the frightening images away, a temporary remedy for the fear and trauma buried deep within her. As her wracking sobs subside she hears thundering steps running toward her. Kylo bursts frantically into the room and she shouts in surprise. She’d forgotten he was here for a moment. 

He scrambles, checking her over quickly for injuries. “Rey,” he says her name gently, almost a whisper. “What happened?” He’s stunned to see her this way, her usual sunny demeanor vanished. The Rey before him looks crumbled, defeated in spirit and it crushes him to watch her slowly place a happy veneer on her face. She gives him a reassuring smile that doesn’t reach the sadness now rimming her eyes. He can tell it’s for his sake and he hates it.

“It was just- nothing, a bad dream. I’m sorry for scaring you.” She sniffles the last of her tears away.

“Don’t do that,” Kylo whispers. “Don’t pretend to be okay. We don’t have to lie to each other.” He takes her in his arms, holding her close. He can feel as she nestles into him, sighing softly. After a time, she gets up, leading him by the hand to the bed where they lie together in silence, and Rey lets herself be comforted for what must truly be the first time in her life. She’d confided in Rose several times, had poured her heart out. Her friend consoled her, offered her solace but she never truly understood. Somehow she knows, without ever saying a word, without any confessions, this man understands her. 

“The nightmares. Do you get them often?” His voice is gruff, laced with sleep. 

“It depends.” She sighs wearily. “Sometimes I go months without one, then I’ll have a few in the span of a week. It gets worse when I’m stressed.”

He doesn’t say anything else.

“I was nearly dead when I was found as a child. Did you know that?” Her voice is tremulous. He smooths her hair back and simply nods his head, she nods back. “How much do you know about me?” Rey asks.

He stills momentarily. “A fair amount. But personal stuff, I don’t know too much. I only wanna know what you wish to tell me.” 

She takes a deep breath, her voice ringing clear even though the tremble remains. “Then I think it’s only fair you tell me a bit about you.” Kylo hesitates for a moment before catching Rey’s weepy gaze. 

“There’s not much to tell, I was a troubled child, upset with my circumstances and prone to lashing out.” He pauses, debating with himself how deep he should let Rey in. It’s too late to shut her out, he knows. “I only ever felt like a burden to those around me. My parents fought incessantly whenever my father bothered to fly home instead of anywhere else in the world.”

“And your mother?” She asks, 

“She tried her best, I suppose, but raising me got in the way of her career. She’s a woman of singular focus. They left me to my own devices until I was old enough to be sent to boarding school. I hardly saw either of them after that.” He distractedly traces lines up and down Rey’s arm. “Still, I had more than most but it had a toll on our relationship— even as an adult.”

“Where are they now?” Rey probes quietly.

“Around, and happier without me.”

Rey doesn’t think Kylo would appreciate being pitied, but she gives his hand a comforting squeeze and he brings their joined hands to his lips. “I know what it’s like... to be cast aside, to be considered more trouble than you're worth.”

She tells him of the foster system, how she was labeled a problem child because she couldn’t keep her nightmares at bay and would act out during the day. Staying with foster families already overloaded with as many kids as they were allowed to keep the bills paid. There was never time for herself, but she always felt alone. It was inescapable. “Some places were violent, others were simply unfit for child care. I was left on my own often, and at times I had to fight to defend myself against older kids. It was a horrifying existence, I resigned myself to a life of misery... until I met Maz.” The corner of Rey’s lips quirk up when she thinks of the woman.

Maz was stern but kind; the first adult to treat Rey with decency. She only fostered children that were transitioning between homes and Rey came to her at the age of 10 after a particularly nasty fist fight Rey swore she didn’t instigate. Maz taught her to be tough without letting her heart harden, to take care of herself and prepare for her future because no one else would do it for her. It was the best summer of her life. “She was a light in the darkness for me. I remember her more than anyone else. I wish I could see her again.” But after that summer, she was moved once more. Unckar Plutt was her next caretaker, a swine of a man who only saw his charges as workhorses for his car parts business.

“He had us steal cars or scavenge for parts in junkyards. It was easier for him to be removed, to have someone take the fall for him. We were all too scared to ever rat him out, I was lucky to never be caught.” She looks at Kylo, who is listening intently, showing no pity. “I knew better than to step out of line after the first few thrashings, but Unckar sometimes didn’t even need a reason so I made myself useful to him.” Rey’s eyebrows pinch together, unpleasant memories resurfacing. “I learned to scavenge parts for just about anything, not just cars, and that’s how I learned to build computers. Built myself a little side business, and saved enough money to get the hell out when I was 16. Just ran away because I knew that if I stayed, I’d end up in prison or dead.” She sags in relief, the weight of her life somewhat lifted off her shoulders.“I’ve been alone ever since.”

“You’re not alone.” He cups her face and kisses her with a tender conveyance of his adoration for her.

“Neither are you,” Rey says breathily as she entangles her body with his again.

The morning sun streaming in through the curtains wakes Kylo, he’s not used to sleeping in. He can’t remember the last time he slept so soundly. Flashes of his first night with Rey rouse him further awake. Her lips on his own, the feel of her beneath his hands, it drives him crazy thinking of how he knows nearly every inch of her body now; just as much as she knows his. His morning wood throbs as he rolls over with a heavy sigh, what he wouldn’t give for Rey to be right next to him. A faint aroma coming from the kitchen tells him she must be cooking breakfast.

Kylo puts on his boxers, padding out toward the clatter of dishes. Rey is at the stove, frying eggs, sausages and hash browns together in a giant skillet. She’s sporting a large t-shirt that covers the very top of her thighs, swinging her hip in time to the song she’s softly humming.

He notices the two plates laid out on the table, a fruit bowl between them. A warm feeling surfaces in his chest.

“Goood morning.” Coming up slowly behind Rey, Kylo snakes an arm around her waist, pulling her back against him.

Rey sinks into him, head lolling sideways as his mouth finds the curve of her neck, peppering kisses on her smooth skin.

“Good morning to you... AND your friend,” she says as she presses her ass against him.

“He’s just a bit happy to see you here, looking like this.” A hand rakes up her leg, over her hips where her underwear should be. Kylo stifles a groan. “You’re killing me.” He turns her around, grabbing her face to crash his lips upon hers, kissing her senseless.

She breaks away breathlessly. “Kylo, our breakfast will burn!”

“Let it.” He grabs her by the wrist and attacks her neck once more, kneading her breast with his free hand. Rey mewls a weak protest.

“No, no, n—” He is relentless in his affection, ignoring her halfhearted pleas.

A loud pop of grease makes Rey gasp, and she wrenches away from Kylo’s embrace, flushed and panting.

Her eyes narrow at the sight of Kylo’s scandalous grin.

“Listen here, scoundrel! Make yourself useful before our food is ruined,” Rey says, pointing to the fresh coffee pot.

She turns her attention toward the stove, gathering herself.

“Yes ma’am,” Kylo assents, kissing her shoulder before looking for mugs.

Rey tries to ignore the fluttering in her stomach. The one she felt as soon as she woke up this morning and saw him sleeping peacefully, the one that has lingered since.

They enjoy a pleasant breakfast together, sharing the places they’d like to travel to. Kylo has done a lot more traveling than Rey, and she enjoys hearing about all the different countries he’s seen.  
  
”Where would you go?” He asks, watching as she scrunches her face trying to decide.  
  


”I can’t think of a certain place. I wanna go everywhere,” she sighs. “But to start, I’d go to Greece. Warm and beautiful, like nothing I’ve ever seen before.”

  
”I could take you,” Kylo blurts out without pausing. “I love Greece.”

  
Rey blushes a deep crimson. It’s too soon to plan vacations together, but the idea of traveling with him is inexplicably appealing. Feeling awkward, she switches the subject abruptly.

”So how’d you get into calligraphy?” She smiles, digging back into her food.

“I was young and wanted to make something beautiful, when everything else felt chaotic.” He gives her a sad smile.

“I’d like to see it one day.” She sips her coffee, swallowing a bite of her food down with it.

“What do you do with your free time?” Kylo inquires. 

“I do a lot but not as much as I work,” she jokes. “But my favorite thing to do walk through the farmer’s market. I pick up a new plant or two. Find myself a few good ingredients and cook a gourmet Sunday dinner. Sometimes I have friends over, but mostly it’s just me. It’s a ritual.” she explains, laughing at herself. “I watch too many cooking shows. It’s embarrassing.”  
  
”I think it’s adorable.” He says, and continues eating.

Rey can’t ignore the warm feeling cascading over her and devours the rest of her plate, ravenous after such a crazy night. Her entire body is sore, from head to toe. She has momentary flashbacks of last night. Kylo’s breath on her neck as he kissed her, the way his hands felt so right around every part of her, watching him kneel between her legs. Distantly she hears her name, and it takes a few seconds too long for her brain to register it.

“Yeah, uhh— what?” She stumbles on her words.

Kylo twists him mouth to the side, before repeating his question. “I said... today IS Sunday and I don’t want you to miss the farmer’s market because of me. Would you like to go together?”

Rey’s wide smile is answer enough, but she nods anyway.

They stroll down the sunny cobblestone road, the booths always set up on this historic street, lending a quaint charm to the entire market.

The whole thing strikes Rey as achingly domestic, a long forgotten wish she had as a child, to share simple joys with someone. She glances longways at Kylo who is looking at all of the booths like he’s never seen a farmer’s market before. Maybe he never has, a man like him probably has someone to do the shopping for him. He stops at nearly every stall, and while she thinks for a moment that he must be doing it just for her, she can see that he’s truly enjoying himself. He samples cheeses, honey, pickles, making sure to have Rey try them too. It’s delightful to see him be carefree, his eyebrows are soft, his smiles appear more often, very different to the callous man she met. 

They come across a flower booth lined with gorgeous arrangements. Rey loves to smell the flowers but never splurges on a bouquet for herself. She sniffs the delicate petals and continues on to the next booth.

She doesn’t notice Kylo lagging behind her, paying for the colorful bouquet she was just admiring. He scoops the flowers in his arms, running to catch up with her. She turns around sharply at the sound of his steps.

“I thought you were right next t— OH.” She notices the cascade of petals in his arms, held out toward her.

“Let me cook you dinner.” His eyes look alight, if only a little unsure.

“I’d like that,” she says, hugging the bouquet to herself, cherishing the simple gift. “How about tonight?”

“Fantastic.”

With that, Kylo springs into action. He fills their bags with organic berries, mushrooms, broccolini, gourmet cheeses, small-batch chocolates, and two excellent cuts of rib eye steaks. Rey’s mouth waters, already hungry again. Another hour and several purchases later, they make it back to Rey’s apartment.

They linger on the steps of her building again. Parting from each other now after the soul baring night they’ve had feels much more definite than it truly is.

He kisses her cheek. “See you at 7?”

“I’ll be there.” She enters her building with a backward glance at Kylo.

Rey lounges back in her sofa chair, staring at the ceiling as she strokes BB’s soft fur.

She can hardly believe her last twenty-four hours, the boldness of her and Kylo both. “What is going on with me? Can I even trust him?” Draping an arm over her face, she tries to ignore her brain as it shouts yes. “What am I gonna do?”

“Rose!” She shoots up out of her chair, looking for her cell phone.

The phone rings for a long time before Rose picks up. “H-hello?”

“Rose? Did I wake you?”

“Why are you calling me so early?” Rose’s voice grumbles.

“Uhh, it’s past noon.”

“Fuck.” Shifting noises and running water sound on Rose’s end until her voice suddenly returns, clearer than before. “Okay, okay! Tell me everything!”

“Nooo... I wanna know how wild your night was that you sound half dead.”

“Oh Rey,” Rose exclaims woefully. “It was so good until I ruined it, I got way too drunk and pawed at poor Finn the entire time he tried to get me home.”

“I’m so embarrassed, he held my hair back when I threw my guts up, helped me take my makeup off and even changed me into pajamas. I nearly cried, I’m mortified.” She whines with distress. “I don’t remember him leaving but I woke up to a text from him. I think he wants to see me again!”

“But that’s good, honey!” Rey tries to console her friend.

“IS IT!? How will I face him?” Rose huffs out.

“Think of it this way, you already showed him the messiest part of you and he’s not spooked” Rey continues quietly, “He must be a good guy to take care of you when you’re vulnerable. Don’t let pride ruin something good for you.”

“I hate when you’re right.” Rose perks up a bit after that. “Now help me figure out what to text him back.”

Rey puts her on speakerphone while watering her plants, happily deflecting her feelings to help a friend. They volley back and forth with different wordings but finally decide on a flirty text.

“Aah! I hit send!” Rose exhales a long held breath.

“Enough of my drama, how did your night go with Tall, Dark and Handsy? He could not stop touching you.” Rose yammers on about how they looked perfectly at ease with one another and how it was the best idea she ever had to invite him behind Rey’s back.

“Yeah, well consider us even after that little stunt! You served me up like an appetizer in that dress!” Rey exclaims, frightening BB off his perch.

“Please! If anything, you were a five-course meal!” Rose’s laughter on the other end turns into a full cackle. “Now quit dragging your feet and give me details!”

“He stayed the night,” Rey says, and a small gasp is heard on the line.

“You never let anyone stay.” Rose remarks.

“Maybe I didn’t kick him out because I was exhausted after my third orgasm.”

Rose’s sudden scream deafens her and she holds the phone away from her ear. “Why didn’t you lead with that!? Tell me everything, don’t hold back!”

Never one to shy away from her best friend, Rey recounts the whole night to Rose. Play by play by play. Rose is floored, and living vicariously through her lucky friend.

“He took such good care of me afterward. We had the most intimate talk, he held me all night. I’ve never been cared for like that.” Rey sounds wistful.

“Maybe it’s love,” Rose quips.

“ROSE!” Rey recoils from the thought, as if it were a filthy word. “We still have to work together, but I can’t go back from knowing him so intimately.”

Rose remains quiet, knowing Rey just wants a sounding board.

“He’s expecting me for dinner tonight, I’m wracked with nerves,” she admits.

“Take it at your own pace, Rey,” she sighs audibly on the line, “but there’s nothing wrong with opening your heart up to someone.”

They chat idly for a few more minutes when Rose’s other line beeps. “Oh shit, it’s Finn! Gotta go, girl! LOVE YA!”

“Love y—“ The line cuts before she can finish. “..you too.”

Across town, Kylo turns the key to his door. He puts the groceries away, noticing the stark difference between Rey’s lived-in home, and the apartment where he only deigns to sleep. Out first thing in the morning, exercising or running errands before work, dinner somewhere, then back here, straight to bed. The endless cycle would never change if it weren’t for Rey. He pulls a book from his shelf, opening to where her hidden picture lays. _This smile, I’ve seen it... now I don’t want to be without it._ “Shit.” He curses, knowing his mind is running wild with emotion and he can’t contain his feelings. This wasn’t supposed to be this way, but he’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t find her intriguing from the moment they met. She’s fierce when so many quail in his presence, isn’t intimated by his temper, she’s even gone toe to toe with him on several occasions. She is unlike anyone else he’s ever met. Deciphering his feelings is overwhelming when Rey inhabits every corner of his mind.

Later that night, he’s preparing the food, sautéing the broccolini with mushroom, steaks searing on the cast iron skillet. It’s nearly seven, she’ll be here soon. The overhead lighting is dimmed down to set a romantic mood, he’s lit a few candles and in the far corner by his bookcase, a warm lamp drives the shadows away. It’s the warmest his home’s ever looked. He turns some music on to fill the silence that is killing him as he waits for her arrival. His nerves become more frayed as the minutes crawl by.

“Get ahold of yourself, asshole,” he admonish himself.

A soft knock sounds at his door, through the peephole he sees Rey smooth her blouse and tousle her hair back before exhaling loudly. _She’s nervous too._ The thought puts him at ease.

He opens the door, stepping aside to welcome her in. “Hey, there.”

“Your doorman let me in.” She smiles.

Kylo helps her out of her denim jacket, hanging it in the closet.

“Mmm, it smells so good in here!” She pulls out a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon from her bag.

“For me?”

Rey nods. “For us.”

“I’ll pour us a glass, get comfortable.” He walks into the kitchen.

Rey walks across his expansive living room. _Wow, you could fit two of my apartment in here._ The skyline view from his apartment is beautiful, it’s nearly dark, only purple and orange tints remain as the sun dips below the horizon. A handsome leather chair is illuminated out of the corner of her eye, and she sits to enjoy the panorama as the light complete disappears. A book sits on the table beside her, when she lifts it to look at the cover, a picture falls to the ground. She picks it up to find her own face looking back at her, a candid shot taken by someone she never noticed. It’s a shock to her system.

“What’s this?” She asks Kylo, walking into the kitchen where he’s resting their dinner, pouring their drinks.

His mind registers the picture in her hand, astounded by his own stupidity. “It was in that dossier you assumed my boss gave me. Remember?”

“Where’s the rest? I want to see it,” she murmurs.

“I burned it.” He comes around the counter, taking her hands in his. “But you are much more than papers stuffed in a folder. Nothing in there told me who you really are. You did.”

“Why keep the picture?” She draws her hands away. 

Kylo sighs and reaches back for their wine glasses. “I guess I became a bit infatuated with you, despite our initial encounter. Because of it? I don’t know.” Their fingers brush as she takes the stemmed glass from his hand. “Wasn’t sure I’d ever make you smile like that.”

Rey feels her indignation slowly ebbing away. “Yes, well if you’d like a picture of me, you’ll have to take it yourself. If there’s any more, get rid of them.” She rips the offending photo into small pieces, sweeping the remains off the counter and into the trash.

“That’s fair.” He tips his glass toward her. “Dinner’s ready, if you’d still like to stay.”

“I was promised dinner, wasn’t I?.” She quirks an eyebrow and leaves him to his plating.

They eat quietly, the loud scraping of silverware putting Kylo off his food. Rey is eating heartily, not easily dissuaded from enjoying a home cooked meal. She catches his glance, his expression soft and longing and she pauses to wipe her mouth.

“I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ll never know if Rose and Finn meeting is coincidence or not so the best thing I can do, for myself and my closest friend, is to stay away until...” She stops cold. Until when? Tomorrow when they find out if they’ve been discovered? A few months from now when she’s no longer working for Snoke? Until she no longer has contact with Kylo? A hollowness settles in her stomach. She’s not very sure where the line has become blurred.

Kylo’s gears are turning, attuned to Rey’s thoughts. “Last night was arguably the best night of my life, but I understand if you want to leave it at that.” He focuses his attention back on his plate.

“I don’t want that.” Rey’s voice is quiet but fearless.

“Me neither,” he says, taking her hand and lifting it to his lips. An understanding settles between them, a peace they feel when the other is near. Kylo relaxes, finally tucking into his meal properly.

A glass of wine later, their meal has been well over, and their bellies are full. Rey’s laughing over a joke she’s successfully finished on her third attempt. It’s one in a long line of cheesy jokes she spouted off after discovering Kylo doesn’t know any proper ones. Kylo’s laughing with her, but more likely at her.

“Okay okay, one more!” She stifles a chuckle. “What was E.T. short for?”

“No idea.” Kylo says, head shaking.

“Because he had little legs!” She throws her head back in amusement.

“That’s it, you’re not allowed to make jokes anymore.” He ribs, and she swats at his chest. He catches her hand, and pulls her into his lap. “Those are so bad, I might have to punish you.” He drags his nose up her neck, kissing her jawline as she curls her arms around him.

“Is this supposed to be punishment?” She mutters softly, leaning into him. “I’m rather enjoying it.”

“Just wait, darling.” He stand with her in his arms, walking into his living room. He sets her down, her now bare feet touching the wooden floor. Soft music starts, and Kylo tucks a small remote back into his pocket. “A dance?” He holds out a hand.

They sway to the music, swirling in intimate circles, cocooned in each other’s arms. Kylo softly sings along to the lyrics. _It’s strange what desire will make foolish people do._ His deep voice grips Rey as it rumbles above her.

Kylo relishes the genuine pleasure of holding Rey in his arms, committing the feeling to memory. If it were up to him, he’d never leave her side.

She ventures a glance up, he’s lost in the low melody, eyes closed. His amorous demeanor strikes her, every trace of irascibility gone, highlighting the alluring beauty of his face. His molten brown irises fly open to meet hers, noting the fascination in her gaze, he presses his lips upon hers.

“You’re changing me, Rey.” He rests his forehead against her own.

“No.” She takes his face in her hands, softly kissing his lips. “This side has always been inside you, you just needed someone to help you find it.”

Rey feels herself being swept up, locking lips with Kylo as the comfortable pressure of his arms lifts her in a crushing hug. His embrace envelops her, drowning out any lingering worries. Not sure of where this could lead, in her heart, she feels ready to leap forward. She loses sense of direction until she’s deposited on the pliable surface of Kylo’s bed. She writhes blissfully, this is the most luxurious mattress she’s ever laid on, probably one she’d never even look at due to its exorbitant price.

“I want to sleep in this bed every night,” Kylo hears her mumble from underneath the covers she’s entangled herself in. She pops her head out, satisfaction on her face.

“That works for me, because I want you in my bed every night.” He leaps forward, diving under the covers with her, and she squeals when he grabs her calf.

He caresses every part of her body, slowly discarding her clothes and then his. He teases mewling moans out of her with feather light touches and kisses to her most erogenous zones. She sees stars behind her eyes as he fulfills his promise from before, driving her to the edge of pleasure just to yank it out of her reach. When he finally arches her back and enters her from behind, their joined hands pressed firm against the headboard, her senses are overwhelmed and she comes loudly as he begins to pump in and out of her wildly.

“Fuck, Rey” Kylo huffs out in between thrusts. “You’re exquisite.” A loud groan rips out of him, his own climax rocking his body forward.

Her heart begins to hammer when he whispers in her ear, “I’m yours. I’ll always be yours.”

Trailing kisses down her neck and spine, he pulls out of her.

Rey collapses and turns to face him. The light in his eyes shines brighter than she has ever seen and she knows the man before her has never experienced tender love, the same as her. The light snuffed out of him before it had a chance to grow. She kisses him lovingly, knowing she’s found a kindred spirit.

“You’re mine,” she breathes, “and I am yours.”

They lie entwined around one another, wrapped up in the high thread count of Kylo’s sheets. Intoxicated by their connection, they talk late into the night sharing secrets, kissing passionately, lazily, and any other way they can join their lips. Rey’s eyes are getting heavy when Kylo nudges her to sleep in his arms. This, he thinks, he would go to the ends of the earth to feel this way forever. When he finally drifts off to sleep, his dreams are full of Rey.


	7. Broken Connection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey hears something she’s not supposed to. Kylo doesn’t know what to do. It’s an angsty chapter for these two.

It’s early morning when the sun finally fills the room. Kylo watched Rey sleep as the sun rose, astonished that she slept so soundly, so peacefully in his embrace. His arm went numb sometime in the night, a small price to pay for the joy that’s settling deep in his bones. He kisses her brow, and she scrunches up her nose. The urge to continue kissing her is strong, magnetizing him entirely but she remains fast asleep. He gently removes himself as Rey begins to groan sleepily. It’s heartwarming to see her stretch out serenely in his bed. Padding quietly down the hall, he notices her bag hanging near the front door. She’ll probably want to freshen up, so he takes it back to his room, setting it down on the dresser for her. She’s snuggled further into the covers, her face barely visible through the dark color of his sheets.

Standing in his living room, the morning light filtering in through his wide windows, he can’t ignore the shift in the air. It’s like his life is gradually going from black and white to full color. Still, in the back of his mind, there’s a nagging feeling. Beyond his initial instructions, he hasn’t been acting at Snoke’s behest. No, these feelings are his own, his connection with Rey has never been filled with false intention. Kylo would prefer to think their attraction would unfold much the same way without Snoke’s twisted directive. He doesn’t need the man staining another part of his life. When he reaches his kitchen to put on a pot of coffee, a flash of Rey in her own kitchen invades his mind. He savors the memory, already wishing for more. The simple joy of knowing her, of loving her would be an entirely new adventure for Kylo. If he wants to keep Snoke away from Rey, he’ll have to be more proactive.

Kylo strides into his sitting room, intent on calling the man who would be his boss, a meeting between them is in order. Any sign of determination is extinguished on the spot, when he comes face to face with Snoke, unperturbed in his wait.

“Kylo Ren, I was beginning to think you’d died in your sleep.”

Taking the seat across from the elderly man, Kylo schools his face into nonchalance. “Sir— how long have you been waiting?”

“Long enough,” the man sneers.

His usual goon, Phasma, is nowhere to be seen. Kylo is sure she must be close, wherever Snoke goes, his guard dog follows.

“Am I to surmise your work is succeeding? The weeks have been rolling by with nary a word from you.”

The silence is loud, and a beat too long for Snoke’s liking. “Answer me, boy!”

The bellow snaps Kylo into action, he innerly chides himself for being so slow. His entire body screams at him to look down the hall to where Rey is, but the last thing he needs to happen right now is for Snoke to discover she’s here.

“There has been little news, Skywalker Group remains ignorant to our slicing and the work continues undetected. Leia Organa has furthered her deal along, authorizing an audit that will have her investors ready to sell in less than two month’s time. They will be crushed, their company won’t withstand another blow like this.”

“And the girl?”

“Rey’s proficiency hasn’t been exaggerated, she delivers results consistently and efficiently. With a little more time, she assured me our informant may come forward.”

Snoke takes this information in, forming a steeple with his hands, momentarily placated by their progress.

“What about your flowering relationship with Ms. Niima?” Snoke’s derisive smirk enrages Kylo.

After a good rubbing of her eyes, Rey decides to climb out of bed. The spacious bathroom adjacent to Kylo’s bedroom is so luxurious, she can hardly believe it’s all meant for one man. How spoiled he must be without ever realizing it. She runs her hand over a soft bathrobe that hangs from the bathroom door, she slips it on, enjoying the luxurious cloth wrapped around her. If she’s honest with herself, she could get used to this level of luxury easily. Maybe he would like her to come over more often. The thought brings a smile to her lips.

A sudden yell startles her, the unfamiliar voice is definitely not Kylo’s.

She pads stealthily down the hall, pulling her robe in closer as the distant voices slowly become clearer. Kylo’s low timber is serious, professional, and curt. The second voice is harder to place. Reaching the end of the hallway, Rey stations herself behind a side table, concealed from both men when she finally recognizes the man behind the voice. Snoke. He’s here, but what is he doing here? She has no time to wonder, paralyzed by the mention of her own name, Snoke inquiring about her relationship with Kylo.

“Is she still loathe to spend time with you or have you finally broken down her defenses?” A barking laugh leaves Snoke’s as he continues, “Perhaps the art of seduction is not your forte.”

Kylo hesitates before quietly responding. “She’s grown fond of me.”

“Fondness is not what I asked for, Mister Ren. Make her love you, use her own feelings against her, so that we may crush her completely if the time comes,” Snoke hisses through his teeth. “That has always been the plan, make sure not to forget it. I’ll require more frequent reports from now on.”

All the air leaves Rey’s lungs, her head spins, and it takes every effort in her body to stop her knees from wobbling as she makes it back to Kylo’s bedroom. The only thought in her head is to leave immediately, but her body disagrees, leaden limbs slow her down as she searches for her clothes. Can it be true? Kylo didn’t deny it. God, she’s been an idiot. She told him everything, trusted him. Her chest aches like she’s been stabbed. She can’t find any of her stuff, and she doesn’t remember what she came here with. Hurried steps near the bedroom door and as she finds her clothes, Kylo bursts into the room.

They take each other in, hyperventilating. Rey’s momentarily frozen, holding a dress in one hand, a shoe in the other. A surge of white hot anger courses through her body and she hurls the shoe directly at Kylo, which he deflects with his forearm.

“You lying snake!” Rey disrobes completely, stepping hurriedly into her dress.

Even now completely bare and furious with him, Kylo finds her beautiful. There must be something he can do to convince her it’s a misunderstanding. She wasn’t meant to hear any of that, she doesn’t know the truth. He feels helpless in the face of her anger. He steps closer, reaching for her and she flinches visibly. The reaction is a slap in the face, one he clearly deserves.

“Stay away from me!” Angry tears run down Rey’s cheek, dotting his floor with wet spots. “I put my faith in you, and you used me! I’m nothing but a job to you, is that it? Well I’ll save you the trouble of worrying about your precious exploits, I can finish this myself.”

“Rey, please let me expl—“

“NO! I don’t want to hear your lies! You’ve hurt me enough.” She stifles a sob as she puts on her shoes, grabbing her bag and shoving past him. She can hear him following her down the hallway, yelling her name. In a desperate attempt he grabs her elbow, and spins her to face him.

“Listen to me... please.” The words come out softly and she doesn’t fight against him as he kisses her lips. They are soft and plush against her own and with every second that passes her will to fights begins to dwindle. But wrenching herself from her desires, Rey twists out of his grasp, his touch burning her, hurting her from the inside. A swift hand smacks across Kylo’s face, stunning him. “Never touch me again,” she spits out venomously. “You’re a monster.”

He can only watch as she leaves, the door slamming angrily behind her.

Rey wanders through the streets, no destination in mind. Her mind is blank but her heart is full of agony. Her tears have long subsided, leaving her eyes puffy and swollen. She turns a corner to find Rebel Brew in front of her, she had been walking here without realizing it. Hot coffee and a sweet pastry might be some comfort. She walks in to surprised to find Rose is working this morning. Rose smiles at Rey, gasping as she takes in her friend’s appearance.

“Rey,” Rose exclaims, rushing across the counter. “Are you okay? What happened?”

Rey remains quiet, weighing the consequences of coming clean to her friend. Telling her about Snoke, the job, Kylo’s odious betrayal, it would only put her in danger no matter how she ached to confide in her friend. Then she remembers Finn. Right... Rose can’t know anything.

She shudders back a burgeoning sob and shakes her head, trying not to look her friend in the eye. “I’m okay, Rose. Nothing’s happened. Just need a little pick me up.” Rose’s narrowing eyes makes Rey fidget. Why had she come here? She’s alone in this.

“Why are you lying to me?” Rose’s soft voice snaps Rey’s gaze back. This was definitely a mistake. The best she can do is tell as little of the truth as possible and get out of here.

Rey slumps into a nearby booth. “Turns out, it’s not going to work out between Kylo and I.” Her voice is sad even as she tries to shrug it off. “He’s not who I thought he was.”

A warm hand grasps her under the table, loosening Rey’s clenched fist. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really, I think I’ll just head home.” She wipes away a tear before it can roll down her face. “Maybe later?”

Rose nods, extending her arms out for her friend.

Taking a look in her bag of goodies, Rey thanks the heavens for her friend. Food is her favorite comfort, that and BB. Cuddled up on her couch after both of their heavy breakfasts, Rey pets BB. The laptop across the room in her bag has been like a lit beacon in the night. Work awaits, and today is particularly important. She glances at the clock, it’s nearly 9 am, no time like the present.

Logging into Skywalker’s network is a surprising relief. Access means security, security from being found out, security to finish her work. Her first order of business is to check the interoffice communications, there haven’t been any more encrypted messages between Leia and Poe.

Finn and Poe are a different story, Finn lets it slip that the audit will be completed this afternoon. A full report will be sent to all board members by tomorrow morning. Finn and Poe will definitely have a copy of that report, if not, perhaps she should take today to watch Leia carefully.

She settles in to track her movements, spending all day in bed watching Leia’s geolocations and communications is about all she has energy for anyway. The growing chasm inside her demands to be acknowledged, she finds herself wishing she could muster the energy to howl into the void of her heart but she can’t. Shouldn’t she be angry? She wipes away the tears that seem to be never ending today.

Another day of waiting around to see what happens. If this morning had been different, perhaps she would be wrapped around Kylo right now, she’s hit by a phantom sensation of his skin warm against hers. No, she can’t think that way. If she had stayed, he would still be a liar. Passing thoughts of him send a lingering pain through her.It’s late in the evening when Leia receives word that the audit has gone tremendously well. This woman must have no home life if she’s still at the office, or maybe she has no family. She surveys Leia long enough to see her send a grateful message back before she leaves for home. No sense in keeping watch overnight if the full report will be released in the morning.

Rey glances at the clock, it’s past 9:30 PM. She’s been in bed for over twelve hours, yet she’s still bone weary. Closing the laptop and shrouding herself in darkness, she slips into a deep sleep.

She wakes even more tired than she felt the day before, her slumber brought her no rest. Just as she expected, the audit has been released first thing this morning. Skywalker is profitable, shows potential growth in the future, and stockholder payouts will be negotiated in the next month. The deadline is getting closer and closer.

With the go ahead to continue working, she performs her tasks robotically. It’s easy enough to pick up her regular routine of slicing into their system, corrupting their data and maintaining her search for First Order intel. It’s in their archives where she finds new information, they believe someone named Ben Solo is no longer working for Snoke. Copying the information to her private drives, she leaves it alone. This seems harmless, and surely she must leave it behind as she has done here and there to not arouse suspicion. She’s never heard that name before, why would this man be important to Skywalker Group? Normally she’d look into it, but there’s little interest left in her body, so she continues her mindless toiling. It’s all too humdrum for her, even staying busy doesn’t keep her mind away from Kylo. Every passing day feels worse, she thought the distance would give her time to lick her wounds but she’ll have to inform him soon and she’s not ready to see him again. The easiest way to put this all behind her is to see it through.

The days pass by in a haze for Kylo. One other time Snoke has contacted him, and Kylo had the fortune of getting away with his lies despite being completely in the dark. Lying that everything was going well, that Rey was still with him. The first few days had been rough, he threw himself into a drunk stupor, a hideous bender to burn away the torment he had found himself in. He awoke on the third day with a hangover that lasted at least two more days after that. He was done pitying himself, now it was nearly a week since he’d seen Rey and he’d done next to nothing in that time. Would she have sent word if something had gone wrong with Skywalker? He didn’t feel like he was much in a position to demand anything from her. His chest felt empty without her, not like he had felt before she came into his life, but worse. As if she’d been the one to bring light to his life, only to cast him even further into darkness. No, he only had himself to blame. She confided in him, and he gave her nothing in return. In hindsight, the truth was priceless but he had squandered his chance to come clean with her. Could she ever forgive him?

The vibrating pulse of his phone alarms him and his heart jumps into his throat when he sees Rey’s name on the screen. He snatches the phone up instantly.

“Rey?” He sounds as alleviated as she feels when she hears his voice pleading her name. Calming herself, willing herself to sound unaffected by his voice takes a great amount of effort.

“Kylo,” she pauses, “we need to meet soon. There’s information that you should know.”

“Whenever you want.” _All I want to do is see you_ , he thinks, keeping it to himself.

“10 AM, the bridge in the park.” Her voice is curt and the line goes dead all too soon.

Unable to move away from the window, Rey has been surveilling the small bridge. She woke up too early, her meager heart thrilled at the thought of seeing Kylo. A thrill accompanied by a lancing pain, she can’t do this. She’s ready to call it all off when she sees Kylo on the bridge. What is he doing? It’s not nearly time, she was counting on that last hour to work up a modicum of courage.

The park is quiet, this is the calm before the storm. He caresses the mark of her name on the aging wood, following the eye line up, hoping for a glimpse of Rey as he spots her window. He hopes against hope that she’ll hear him out, but chances are she truly despises him now. He reaches a hand into his breast pocket, double checking the letter he plans to give to Rey is still with him. A confession, a declaration, an apology, he’s not sure what to call it.

“You’re early,” he hears behind him and his heart begins to hammer raucously in his chest.

She stands quite a distance from him, her face is tired, forlornness inhabits her eyes, but she doesn’t pause to let him speak. Diving straight into business, she tells him Leia’s advanced her deal up by a month in lieu of the audit going so well. “Four weeks from today will be my last working day.” He takes notice of how detached and monotone she sounds, as if she were speaking to a total stranger. 4 weeks, and she’ll vanish completely from his life.

“I miss you,” he blurts out. “Even if I have no right to.”

Her eyes widen, and she stammers quietly, “I-I...” I miss you too. She doesn’t want to say it, she doesn’t want to feel this way, she doesn’t want to admit how much he’s come to mean to her in such a short time. She turns, hurrying away from him.

He runs toward her, closing the distance between them and grabbing her wrist. The brief touch is enough to vocalize him. “It may worthless, but I will always regret causing you pain.” He reaches for the letter, presenting it to her.

Rey’s eyes are watery, and despite her best efforts, a tear rolls down her cheek. He wipes it away carefully, and she lets him, knowing this will be their last contact, hating herself for missing his touch, for wanting it still.

“You’re right,” she says, snatching the letter out of his hand and crumpling it in her fist. “It’s worthless.”

Once again he’s forced to watch her walk away, this time, for good.

Holding back her sobs, Rey makes it all the way back to her apartment. Hiccups erupt from her in a stubborn display of raw emotion, echoing loudly in the silence of her empty home. She unclenches her hand, smoothing out the letter on her coffee table. On it, handwritten in the most elegant script, is her name.

It’s late when she gets home late that night, having been out all day working, avoiding the envelope burning a hole through her coffee table. It’s starting to get chilly at night. Just a few more weeks of this, then she can take a break.


	8. Determined Fix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some plot devices, heartfelt moments and some set up for our beautiful dorky babes.

It seems desperate to keep up some semblance of a routine. Going out to work, Rey’s long walks to a different cafe each morning, taking the most scenic routes, it’s not the same alone. There was a veil over his life, dulling the colors of the world before him but she’s changed that. Even now he can’t deny that he drives by her apartment in the hopes of catching a glimpse of her. He always met her at her apartment, despite her asking him not to at first, being upset when he ignored her request. He can’t pinpoint the reason why he continued to do it even now. Maybe he just always wanted to be close to her. All he knows is that it had nothing to do with Snoke. After a while, she started to greet him with the occasional smile and he knew they’d moved past it. Whatever graceful force she carries within her is so opposite to his own, smoothing his edges. He hoped that she would see him as a good man, and without even processing his actions, he began to change. And now it doesn’t matter, now he’s changed and he doesn’t have her. 

The days have been slithering by, and seeing her just this morning was the final straw. His life just couldn’t turn out this way, to experience happiness so briefly and lose it. Maybe she’d never read his letter but he could still be the type of person who is worthy of her trust. The burden of proof is his to bear. Breaking ties with Snoke will be perilous but the way through is clear, his demons are howling at the door and he must finally answer.

His hands were clammy as he dialed Snoke’s personal line the next day. The pretense of a report was enough to call the man, a fictitious lie would have to keep him on the line. Enough to manipulate him into meeting with Kylo. There’s nothing more that the man loves than to humiliate Kylo, whose attempts at hiding his emotions were never enough to keep Snoke’s ire at bay. This time, he would use his own debasement to fool the old man.

“Kylo Ren.” The gravelly voice was unimpressed, a sour mood already coating it.

“Sir,” was all Kylo meted out knowing being curt will coax the noxiousness out of the man.

“Is this to be a dissatisfying call?”

“The final deadline is a month from now. But the audit aroused suspicion and the girlis still working around the clock, she’s becoming dissatisfied. Says she is a little more than a servant to us both.” He swallows the acid that’s building up in his mouth in order to continue. “She regards my affections dubiously. It hasn’t been easy pretending to love her, so moody and self righteous. I’m in need of a different strategy.”

“Why is that my concern? Are you so useless you can’t sway a woman’s heart to your favor?” An exasperated scoff makes the speaker vibrate on Kylo’s ear. “You’re weak.” Click.

The line has been cast, all that’s left to do is wait.

The sun is low on the horizon when he is summoned to the Imperial Lounge. Snoke sent his lackey, Phasma, deigning to offer a helping hand. The thrashing of a lifetime awaits him, he knows it. The only way to blind Snoke is to disappoint him completely, to bow at his feet ready for admonishment. He walks through the low lit, plush scenery of the lounge. It seem so long ago when he last drank at this bar, making a fool of himself, despising the world. Who had he been then? Who would he turn into? The answer felt distant, blurry to him now. Despite his doubts, despite his already bubbling anger, he knew this was the best route.

Phasma only nods at him from the long hallway where Snoke’s private sitting room is situated. She doesn’t escort him the entire way, staying to watch down the middle of the hall. Kylo knows what awaits him, and as he enters the chamber, he sees Snoke leaning back on a chair, reading a manuscript of some sort. Kylo will never know what it is, he had been foolish to think upon a time that Snoke might confide in him, instead of considering him the puppet he had become. He has been here before; collecting himself as Snoke looks up uneasily from his reading, he heads toward the minibar. Raising a decanter of aged brandy, he nods toward Snoke, who narrows his eyes, nodding his head microscopically. It’s a strained dance of wills, the more composed he is now the better.

A pronounced silence coats the room, Kylo takes the tiniest of swigs from his glass, seated across Snoke’s vigilance.

“I have offered her understanding.... love, happiness; showered her in tremendous gifts, she does not care,” Kylo says, an edge of irritation in his voice, drawing from his very real feelings of much deserved rejection.

Snoke does not move a centimeter.

“There’s only one thing she wants. I wouldn’t be surprised if she got closer to me with the hope of uncovering her parent’s fate before the job was done.” The scowl on his face is close to wavering in the silence of the room.

“And the work?” Snoke’s voice is low, assessing the situation.

“She is capable of handling it, I’m sure of that now. Her dissatisfaction is our only obstacle. She knows the end is near and I’m sure she’ll soon demand more.”

“Pathetic, perhaps she should have been my protege, tenacious as she is,” Snoke hisses. “Then I wouldn’t have wasted my time on you.” The slight is meant to be great and so Kylo snarls audibly, his eyes cast toward the floor.

“She’s the pitiful one, begging for a scrap of information, unable to move on!” Disdain he is not committed to drips from every syllable. He swallows his growing guilt. “We should tell her the parents who disposed of her so carelessly are alive, waiting to meet their little girl... regardless of the truth. Find two transients, pay them to lie to her. She’s so starved for love she’ll never know the truth.”

Snoke considers this for a moment. “You don’t know the truth.”

“Does it matter what I know? If she finishes her work, what do we care if she’s disappointed in the end? Use her, discard her, she wouldn’t be the first.” Kylo schools a bored look upon his face. He can feel the tips of his ears burning, he has lied to Snoke before but nothing of this magnitude, nothing he has cared about more than Rey. 

A mirthful smile plants itself on Snoke’s lips. “I can see the scorn in your eyes. You gave yourself to this girl and she did not want you.”

A grimace is all Kylo can manage, there’s a painful kernel of truth to the old man’s words.

“Perhaps it would be kinder than the truth. After all, they were nobody. Filthy junkies chasing highs in their rundown camper, deep in the woods.”

Snoke pulls out a thin folder from a safe behind him, there’s hardly anything in it. Three pictures are inside the folder, one with a couple smilingly happily with a baby between them, a candid shot taken mid-laughter. Another is double mugshots of the same couple, a few years older, worse for wear. Kylo notices familiar features on the man and woman’s faces, Rey’s parents.

“They were nobody,” Snoke barks out, almost laughing. “Traded what they could for alcohol, or drugs until one or the other killed them. Nobody even knew they had a daughter, nobody bothered to comb the wood. No one knows how long she was out there alone, with the corpses of her deadbeat parents. She doesn’t know it but she’s fortunate her parents perished, it allowed her a chance to truly live.”

“She deserves the miserable truth then,” Kylo growls, angry with the people looking back at him from the photos in his hand.

“You’re a damned fool,” Snoke hisses, his gaze threaded with repugnance for the man in front of him. “If we give her an unhappy ending now, she will turn on us.”

“Then what?” Kylo’s voice is defensively sharp.

“We’ll move forward with your plan. Deceive her, tell her the parents she has long sought after wish to make themselves known. Tell her I have sent for them, and she shall meet them soon.” Snoke’s gaze is distant, conniving. “Yes, tell her she shall have everything she wishes for.”

“And my relationship with her?” Kylo says evenly.

“You have no choice but to continue for now,” Snoke rises, walking to a rear entrance, “Get it done. I’m tired of your constant failures.”

There’s a threat laced there. He downs the amber liquid and walks out. He gets in his car, and drives all night, aimlessly through the streets and only stopped to fill up on gas. There’s nowhere else he knows to turn. It’s no surprise to Kylo the anxiety that swamps his body as he drives through the suburban neighborhood from his childhood. It’s early morning, he left the city before sunrise. The ninety minute drive stretched infinitely. Every idle second at every stoplight, his gut yelled at him to turn back but his doubts follow him all the way up to the front door. He reaches for the doorbell, but he freezes in place, as the door flies open.

And so he finds himself sitting at a kitchen table across from the couple who raised him. They’re not even changed out of their sleep clothes, beams of sunlight illuminate the dust motes hanging between the three of them. The mugs of coffee in front of them sit untouched, his parents glance apprehensively between them. The flop sweat on his brow begs to be wiped away.

“You gonna speak up, kid?” Han reaches for his cup. “We’re all sweating bullets here.”

“I debated coming here...” He swallows the lump in his throat.

“Ben.” Leia says softly, looking into the hardened eyes of her adult son.

He was nearly ten years younger the last time they saw each other, the built up anger of a young boy has carved itself into the man’s face before her. Not that she hasn’t seen photos of him, but looking at him up close now feels surreal. She must admit herself neglectful in the past, she was often absent, fulfilling her desires as a career woman. Han was always flying to a different corner of the world, and their conflicting passions often led to numerous fights, and brief separations. But where did they fail so miserably in caring for their son that he would turn against them?

He had been under Luke’s mentorship, as an intern he worked down to the bone to prove his position wasn’t due to nepotism. When news broke of Luke’s indictment, she reached out to her son, despite their continuously contentious relationship, but his line was disconnected. Luke wasn’t very forthcoming with information, simply insinuating that Ben had a hand in framing him. Her son’s behavior did little to dispel these suspicions. It wasn’t long before she took the reins of her family’s company, and watched from afar as her son became the right hand man of a despicable criminal. It was then she lost her family.

“I know you’re not working for Snoke anymore,” Leia says, pursing her lips. “Is that why you came?”

Kylo’s not surprised she’s kept an eye on him, his mother has always had a shadowy, hovering presence in his life, even from afar. Still, he doesn’t correct her. “Having me followed?”

She clinks her spoon against the delicate mug, the smallest of shrugs moving her shoulders. “Just a rumor I heard, wanted to confirm it.”

“Working for Snoke has ruined me, sacrificing parts of myself over time... to please him.” He casts his eyes downward. “I’m tired of sacrificing the best parts of me.”

“You disappeared,” Han grumbles, “left a disaster in your wake.”

“I’m not asking for forgiveness.”

“Yeah, well Luke’s definitely not gonna feel very forgiving.”

Kylo scoffs loudly, “Luke is the one person who deserves what he got.”

“But framing him?” Leia pipes up. “He endured the fallout, despite his innocence. Didn’t want us to bring you in to clear it all up.”

“Is that what he told you?” Kylo voice is even, if chagrined.

For a moment Leia and Han look at each other, puzzled.

“I received an anonymous tip that he was selling the majority of his shares after two particularly bad quarters. He felt cornered, his hard work was crumbling around him, so he began unloading them by the thousands while presenting positive financial projections as the profits were plummeting.” His nostrils flare, thinking of his estranged uncle. “He had already made millions by the time I came into the picture. Until Snoke convinced me to turn him in. He was sloppy, and angry that I caught him. He’s lucky you were able to salvage his company.”

“Why did he lead us to believe that you’d framed him?” Leia demands an answer.

“Because of his deep rooted hatred of me? He always resented me, hated to see me thrive beside him. He cast the shame off on me because he knew it would be an easy lie for you to swallow, that you’d think so little of me you’d believe it.”

“But you left!” Leia slams her hands down, rising angrily from her seat. “You could’ve told us the truth, trusted us!”

“Trust has never been very popular in this family, if I remember your marital spats,” Kylo says acidly.

Han raises his hands, calling a time out. “Enough!”

They’re all huffing, tempers have always been easily roused in this family.

“I traded one devil for another.” The tiredness in Kylo’s voice is palpable. ‘I came here to clear the air, and despite myself, apologize for breaking this family apart, for running away, for not appreciating that I even had a family.” An image of Rey flashes in his mind.

Leia’s face softens visibly, her brow furrows as he looks every bit the small and serious boy she engendered, still raw, and sensitive to the world around him. Her small hands stretch across the table to rest on his.

“We were falling apart long before Luke finished the job.” A tired sigh escapes her lips and Han’s hand rests upon her shoulder.

“Listen, son.” Serious, heartfelt conversation has never been Han’s strong suit but even he manages a sincere look. “We weren’t very good parents to you. We were self involved and preoccupied with the expectations we had for ourselves, but you were so somber, even as a kid you couldn’t take a joke.”

Leia forcefully pokes his side to shut him up.

“Son, we’ve missed you. I regret the day we sent you away, from that day everything changed and I’m so sorry.” She embraces him warmly, maternally. It’s too soon in his heart to reach for her, but there’s a comfort of home that emanates from the petite woman.

“I want to make things right.” He wills his teary eyes to dry, catching sight of his father’s gaze reaching sky high to prevent his own onslaught of tears. “Will you let me?”

“Of course.”

Rey is his biggest hurdle, he can’t tell Han and Leia how they met, what a heavy role she’s played in this or how he came to lose her. But he can tell them how he loves her, how she’s awakened a part of him he thought he’d lost, how she’s the only one who can get them out of trouble. But maybe not now.

“I can’t explain how I got here, not right now. You wouldn’t like it but if I told you it would get worse before it got better—“ His parents eagerly await his words and he knows they would endure anything. “Would you still help me? It’s a leap of faith, but I’m asking you to trust me.”

“I can tell you mean that.” Leia squeezes Han’s hand. “It’ll get better.”

The phrase reminds him of Rey, she’d never let him get away with anything. “We’ll fix this,” he affirms carefully. “I’ll be back tomorrow, late morning.” The sun has set when he leaves his childhood home, promising to return with the one person needed to bring down Snoke.

His apartment building comes into view, the valet service takes his car away just in time for him to see a disheveled Rey arguing with the doorman.

“You’ve let me in before!” Her hands are thrown up in the air, unbelievably indignant.

“Rey?”

Her angry eyes snap to where Kylo stands, slack jawed and confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am truly nearly done with this story. I wish I’d waited to start it until after TRoS cause I definitely would’ve just changed just one thing or two but now I just wanna finish this piece and move on to a fix it fic if I can do it. I know no one is truly waiting for this story but I am determined to grind it out whenever I have time.


	9. White Noise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey’s POV. T_T

Rose checks in once a day, there’s no denying that she’s had a rough week and a half. Not wanting to draw too much attention from her friend, Rey feigns happiness, acting as if her romantic brush with Kylo was as meaningless as her previous flings. There’s no need for Rose to come digging for answers that Rey can't hand out. No matter how much she wishes she could spill her heart out to her friend. No, better to deflect and pretend that everything is fine. 

“Pffft, of course I can come out.” Rey even rolls her eyes, attempting to sell her performance. In truth, her heart is a wreck. She could have sworn Kylo was sincere, that he was on her side, that perhaps he might one day love her. He’d been neglected as a child, not the same as her, but a similar vein of loneliness that bound them together tightly. She was being delusional, the man works for Snoke and if what she’s pulled out of Skywalker Group’s servers is to be believed, he’s been ruthless in his enforcement of Snoke’s orders. She was played for a fool, simple as that.

A loud throat clearing blasts from her speaker. “Reeeey!?”

She’d drifted off into her thoughts, leaving Rose hanging on the phone. “My phone is being so weird, sorry. What did you say?”

“I want you to come to this new bar Finn took me to, it’s just your style.” She waits for a response, continuing quietly when Rey remains quiet. “I want to see you.”

“Just shoot me the address and I’ll be there.”

“Yay! We’ll be there at 6:30 for happy hour.” Rose has considerably perked up. “See ya later, bye!”

We... she said we. Rose and Finn for drinks, she can handle that. Rose has been much more on top of her since that morning at Rebel Brew, trying to care for her, like a friend should. She can just keep the chit chat casual, be her usual smiling self and leave under the pretense of a strict deadline. 

The sun is setting as she treks across town, there’s just enough daylight left to go for a walk. She hasn’t gone on her usual long walks as of lately, so used to having a such a desired companion has made the solitary strolls unbearable. The bar is a cozy spot, full of plants and low lighting, exactly how she prefers to adorn her own happy abode, she can see what Rose meant. Rose and Finn don’t seem to be anywhere in sight so she snags a table for them. The happy hour menu is full of quirky signature cocktails, and she orders one, knowing she will nurse it for the night.

Their arrival is marked by rosy cheeks and hurried steps. Rose and Finn have dragged along a third friend, one Rey faintly recognizes and whose name she remembers before his butt hits the seat.

_Poe Dameron. Fuck._

She gives him a friendly nod, and Rose scoots closer to hug her. “Sorry we’re late, Rey. We were waiting for Poe at Finn’s apartment.”

His hand is firm when she shakes it, and her smile is pleasantly strained.

“How do you do?” Poe’s responding smile is warm, and she nods toward Finn who is too far across the table to shake hands with.

It takes a moment more for everyone to settle, and Rey speaks up.

“I’ve ordered a drink but it seems like they have a really good menu, “ she says, pushing the happy hour card toward the trio.

“Couldn’t wait for the whole party, huh?” Poe’s ribbing doesn’t land well, rubbing Rey the wrong way.

Maybe she should be friendlier, maybe she should even chuckle but she can’t feel any sort of amusement sitting across from two of her targets. Never has she crossed the streams between her personal life and her work, especially not when stakes are so high and she’s meant to keep a low profile.

She lies about having to use the restroom to abate the rapid heat of anxiety creeping up her neck.

Splashing cool water on her face does little to help her flush. Just an hour and she can go.

Once she comes back out, everyone has ordered drinks.

“Sorry about that. Guess these drinks are stronger than I thought.” Rey takes a sip of her water.

“Yeah, you should really watch your alcohol intake. A small thing like you shouldn’t be over-drinking.”

Poe’s voice is grating to Rey’s ears, what is he even doing here? Who does he think he is?

“Sorry about Poe here.” Finn slaps his friend’s back playfully if not a bit too strongly. “ He doesn’t get out often. We work together and I dragged him here with me. Told him there’d be a pretty girl. Besides Rose, of course.” Finn’s eyes are closed in a sincere smile and Rose squeezes Rey’s thigh under the table.

She recognizes the look on Rose’s face as pure trouble, and she observes long enough to see Finn and Rose smiling mischievously.

If they’ve set her up on a blind date.. she could murder Rose.

Appetizers arrive shortly after, and Rey does her best to stick to small talk. Once she saw the conversation veering toward work but thankfully the server came back with more drinks, halting any sort of talk. She asks inane questions, hoping to be boring and definitely not wanting to appeal to Poe in any way. There’s an uneasy tension between them all, like a storm cloud no one else can see hanging over her head. Poe nudges Finn to help him get another round since their server seem to have disappeared. Rey switched to water after her first drink but she can tell everyone else is tipsy.

“Isn’t he great?” Rose is watching the pair walk away as they chat.

Rey is focused on the pilling fabric of her sweater. “Yeah, Finn’s awesome.” And he truly is, he’s likable, considerate, and clearly, he cares for Rose. They might’ve even become friends if things were different. It’s hard to bemoan his presence.

“No, I’m talking about Poe.” Roses smirk is suddenly obnoxious.

“That’s it then? You brought Poe here for me?” Rey’s tone is a bit sharper than intended.

Rose flinches at the accusation. “What if I did? You’re lonely, Rey. I can tell something’s eating away at you but you won’t talk to me. I’m worried. I figured a good looking distraction might be the cure but it’s like you’re trying to ruin it.”

“I’m not ruining anything because I never agreed to this,” Rey hisses.

“Why are you so pissed?” Rose retorts, doing little to quell Rey’s anger. “Is this because of Kylo?”

Rey stays quiet.

“Kylo?” Poe’s voice is suspicious. “Kylo Ren?”

Rey’s heart starts up a ruckus when Rose speaks up. “Do you know him?”

“Unfortunately... it’s not a very common name. Question is, how do you know him?” Poe questions.

This is possibly the worst time to fall silent, but Rey draws a total blank. She would later blame it on the drink she’d had.

“I don’t know him really.” Rose glances cautiously at Rey, whose face has taken on a strange pallor. “Rey dated him very briefly.”

Poe lets out a barking laugh, smacking his hand on the table and making the glassware rattle, startling everyone.

“Consider yourself lucky, baby. That man is the devil himself, despicable and selfish.” His drawl is filled with disdain. “Never heard of him dating anybody though, I figured he was missing a heart.’

Poe slinks into the seat next to Rey’s, coming too close for her comfort. “Is that what you found out?”

A sudden defensive urge strikes Rey. “Why don’t you spit out whatever you’re dying to gloat over?”

“Rey,” Rose says soothingly.

“Go on then!” Rey eggs Poe on.

“He destroyed his own family. Even if you could separate the man from the rumor, he still framed his own uncle and left his parents heartbroken. SURE, he was never brought up on charges, and he never saw the inside of a courtroom but we all knew,” he pauses to take a long swig of his beer. “Everyone knew what the black sheep of the Skywalker family had done. He broke Leia’s heart, her own son. He had all he wanted growing up, money, loving parents and it wasn’t enough. So he changes his name, and thinks that’s enough to hide the shame of betrayal.”

Rey’s voice is an angry whisper. “You don’t know everything.” Neither does she, Rey thinks. She never has, Leia is his mother and he never told her. Her blood is boiling, either over the man who hurt her or the one in front of her, who knows so little of what Kylo’s life was really like. “You sound like you were jealous of him.”

“Jealous? No, little Ben Solo left to grovel at the feet of the man who has had a lifelong vendetta against his family. Took up residence with the lowest scum in the city.” Poe spits on the ground. “That asshole isn’t worth the envy.”

“Poe, you’re drunk.” Finn reaches for his friend’s glass but Poe snaps it out of reach, spilling onto the table.

“Please, Finn. You’ve heard the stories, the rumors of what he’s done for that man! Think they’re not true?” A slovenly wicked smile appears on Poe’s face. “His family would be happier if he were dead.”

Without a second thought, Rey slaps Poe fiercely across the cheek.

Finn and Rose gasp, and a stunned silence hangs between the four of them. Rey gathers her things quickly, dropping some cash on the table before getting in Poe’s face.

Nostrils flared, she pokes him in the chest. “You have so many secrets hidden deep inside you.” Her eyes shift toward Finn, implying she knows of his less than platonic obsession with his friend. “It would be a shame if someone who hardly understood you were to spill them so carelessly.”

Poe casts his head down, embarrassed for his drunken outburst more than his words.

“If Kylo is as terrifying as you paint him,” Rey called over her shoulder before walking out, “maybe you should watch what you say.”

Her breath becomes harder to draw as she sprints all the way home. Poe was telling the truth, perhaps his twisted version of it, but Rey knows he believed it. Perhaps she had been too brash at hinting his infatuation with Finn, definitely bold, reckless, and incredibly rude. With luck, Poe would be far too drunk to remember, or cowed by the implication that he wouldn’t pry. Still, she was glad to stick up for Kylo when so many in his life have misunderstood him, and discarded him. Did he betray his family for petty revenge? Had the damage of his childhood been so irreversible, he felt he could never look back? Was he as broken now, as he had been then? The envelope on her coffee table feels like a beacon, beckoning her home. A strange desire to demand the truth in Kylo’s own words sent her flying from the restaurant, nearly going to Kylo’s apartment out of instinct before heading home, hoping his letter would give her answers instead of excuses.

Loose hair is matted to her forehead and neck with sweat, and she wipes clammy hands on her pants before tearing into the wrinkled envelope. Her name is the first word, and deep inside, she can hear an echo of Kylo’s voice whispering it in her ear. A shudder goes through her, her heartbeat is palpable on the tips of her fingers where the paper is held.

There are no sweet phrases, no pleading in his letter, simply an unmasking of the man she had already caught glimpses of; Ben Solo. He admits to it all, his true name, his connections to Leia, to turning his uncle in, ultimately aiding the man who hated his family. A man who had approached him in middle school, grooming him slowly, and isolating him from his family under the pretense of being a mentor. He had never realized the extent to which Snoke had manipulated him, his craft so well honed that Kylo believed he truly wanted to see his family legacy burn, felt it as if it were his own desire. When he confronted Luke Skywalker, his cantankerous and self-righteous uncle, who threatened to hoist the blame and the disgrace unto his nephew, he knew what he had to do and had little consideration for how it would affect the rest of his family. He battled with the decision but, at Snoke’s behest, he chose the truth, damning everything his family had built. He knew it was wrong, and his heart rebelled at every turn but broken hearts make bad decisions. Before he knew it, Snoke had shaped him into his own personal hound, and firmly held the leash. Kylo... no, Ben, had been to reluctant to cut ties with him, ashamed to own up to his mistakes until now. Until Snoke had tried to use Rey, and he couldn’t bear to carry out the deceit. No, he had only deceived himself as he became slowly and then rapidly enamored with her, lying to Snoke to protect the feelings blooming inside him, to safeguard his connection with Rey. At the end of the day, he was a product of other people’s expectations of him, expectations he didn’t care to meet any longer. As the letter nears it’s detailed end, the last few sentences catch Rey’s eye, making her emit a soft gasp.

_You allowed me be myself when no one else has cared to learn who I am. I have kept many secrets, but I have never lied. You are not alone._

Before she can think twice about it, she stuffs the letter into her pocket, running out the door again.

Her heart is racing when she reaches his place. The doorman is a different than the one she saw here before but she doesn’t notice, loudly demanding entrance to the building.

“Rey?”

She whirls away from the entrance as the familiar voice envelops her sense, and she stands face to face with a dumbfounded Ben Solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes characters write themselves and I never wanted Rey to insinuate that she was going to out Poe because that’s terrible and you should never do that, even to a stranger. But she’s upset and volatile, and she doesn’t plan to do anything with this info, just to let you know. It was just a way to scare Poe, and both she and I hope he will forget about it. Lol.


	10. Strong Signals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another heart to heart, with some fluff and angst thrown in there. Probably more angst than anything, these two love to suffer.

Their breathing is heavy as they stare at one another under the canopy of his apartment building. The doorman has stepped away, clearly understanding he has made a mistake in not letting Rey in.

Kylo steps closer, surprised when she doesn’t step away from him, simply craning her neck to gaze up at him towering before her.

The words are caught in her throat, she doesn’t know what she came here to do but she didn’t expect to do it out on the sidewalk. Thinking twice about it, she’s not sure she wants to be up in his apartment; her only experience there ending in heartbreak.

“I read your letter.”

“So you know.” His voice is dim, disillusioned. He knew she would find out eventually, whether curiosity won her over or Snoke told her everything at the end, as he might have always planned to do... Kylo realized too late.

“I think part of me knew before I heard about it.” His head cocks sideways, confused with her statement. “Before I found your letter...” She turns her face away, a loud, exasperated sigh leaving her lungs. “Poe Dameron told me.”

Kylo winces, knowing that one of the people that he loathes the most in this world must’ve told Rey the most gruesome version of events. One of which he had only learned recently. If his parents truly thought he had framed his innocent uncle, there’s little doubt Dameron thought the same. She must be more disappointed now than she was before. How she has came to speak with Dameron face to face, he’s itching to ask but it is low on his list of priorities with Rey.

“He doesn’t know everything.” He bows his head in defeat, unable to conjure up excuses for his actions.

“I know,” Rey whispers.

Kylo’s face snaps to her and he takes a step forward as if to take her hand, reading the earnest look in her eyes. She angles slightly away from him, still not ready for the contact of their skin. His hand and his face wince at the small rejection, knowing he deserves it.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” The hurt is clear across her features, silver lines her eyes as she tries to hold her tears back. “I could’ve helped you if you felt trapped. I would have.”

Kylo’s shoulders slump, worsening his posture and his mood. “I always thought I was alone in this.”

“You’re not alone.” The promise hangs between them as Rey throws his words back at him, a tentative trust that he would gladly spend the rest of his life trying to win back.

He considers this for a moment. There’s no way she’d go upstairs with him, not after what happened up there last time. She deserves an even playing field, as his equal. “It’s kind of a nice night.”

Rey hums apathetically. She looks around, and the sky is clear, and for a moment the street is quiet, and impossibly bright. And she feels a little sad, like her heart just ran a mile instead of her legs. “I guess it is.”

“Can I walk you home?” The question is soft, and unsure. He just knows they have to talk. He misses walking with her, chatting as they made their way through the city together, all the while he had been slowly pining after her, his heart carelessly unraveling around her without notice. A time before Snoke had intruded on them, before Kylo knew he had already begun to change.

It sounds simple enough, and if Rey is honest, that’s the most she can handle right now. She nods her head onward, “You may.”

The walk is awkward, and silent. Rey doesn’t pay attention to the route they take, she’s boring a hole in her cheek out of frustration. It’s bubbling in her chest, mixed in with hope and anger. She just doesn’t want to keep it inside, because it’ll boil over. “I told you everything,” Her tone is sharp, and already watery. “Did you think I wasn’t worth the truth?”

“It had little to do with you, but I wish I had told you everything from the beginning.” Out of the corner of her eye, Kylo studies her features a bit too closely, afraid any second could be his last with her. “I never knew how to act. I hardly thought of Snoke with you around, it was liberating. I’ve been in a cage for so long, it’s only now that I see the bars.” He sighs loudly when she doesn’t answer, it reminds him of when they first met and he doesn’t want to slide back into old patterns. But she is so quiet, and deep insides he knows that he’s an idiot if he thinks he can get her back.

When she finally looks up, they’re at a familiar crossroads. Across this park is her apartment, she doesn’t remember making her way here but she can see the little bridge on the far side. When they finally begin to cross, she stops. “Do you have a way out now?” Rey asks quietly.

“I think I do,” He exhales, and turns to face her. She won’t look at him. “But I need your help.”

“And if I don’t want to?” The sharp defiance in her voice is convincing, even if it’s a lie.

“Then you should get out now, and I’ll try my best to make sure you’re spared any heat.”

She’s surprised to hear him so resigned, so dejected, like the fire has gone out of him. And when she finally faces him, he looks exhausted like he’s been through the same hell as her. Even now the burden is all his own, or so he imagines it to be. She reaches over to touch his shoulder, an olive branch, a sign of comfort when she knows both of their emotions are running high. Anxious because neither one knows what to do. “What if I still wanted to help you?”

The moment stretches between them. She won’t regret helping him, she knows, but she might regret refusing to.

“I’d be indebted to you. I’d do anything for you.” _Even if you didn’t help me._ Kylo swallows thickly before continuing. “Would you hear me out?”

“Will you still work for Snoke?”

Kylo falls silent, ruminating on his life, the choices that led him to Snoke don’t feel like his own but this, yes, this choice is his.

“I never want to work for that man again, it’ll be my life’s greatest accomplishment to destroy him.”

Rey can hear the change in his voice when he says that, full of determination. A hint of the Kylo she first met is there, menacing and violent. Where he might once have frightened her, now she can see past the anger, to the man below. “I’ll think about it.”

Kylo relaxes visibly, the side of his mouth pulls up slightly. He’d though she would flat out refuse him, run away in disgust but the beautiful, selfless woman before him never ceased to amaze. Instinctively, he puts a hand on the small of Rey’s back to lead her off the bridge. She stills at the contact and he snatches his hand away, noticing her reaction. The need to reach for her is built into him, even now he misses the smoothness of her skin on his fingertips. Rey eyes him sidelong, watching as he innerly chides himself, his lips twisting with obvious discontent as they walk. When she clears her throat, it’s a small mercy.

“Do you think Skywalker had enough to bring him down before we destroyed most of their evidence?”

Kylo focuses on her words and tries to recall everything Rey relayed to him, the fact that Skywalker Group apparently did their due diligence in investigating Snoke as far as their resources allowed. He shrugs. “Maybe, but it’s gone.”

“And if I told you it wasn’t?” Rey whispers.

Kylo grabs her elbow, stopping her and meeting her gaze. “You kept it all?”

Rey nods softly. “Men like Snoke can never be trusted.”

A small huff of relief escapes him. “And men like me?”

“I don’t know any men like you.” It’s true enough, Rey doesn’t know anyone as complicated as Kylo, as intrinsically nonconformist as he is eager to please. The man is more complex than he might even know. A man who decided to go by another name, to leave his family behind and start anew upon the carnage of his exit. It’s hard to decide if this is a compliment or simply a fact. With little else to say, Rey asks the question that has been weighing on her mind.

“Why did you change your name?”

The questions stumps him, it wasn’t ever anything that he expected to answer. It was something no one had ever dared to ask him outright, so he answers plainly and truthfully. “It wasn’t so much the name as much what it meant, who it connected me to.” He sighs heavily. “I didn’t want my family’s legacy hanging over my head, it was easier to cut all ties. It doesn’t matter now.”

It doesn’t matter? Rey can’t comprehend how someone can throw away their family name, their roots and their history for so little. If he were to have a legacy, whose would it be? So she asks. “At the end of it all, how do you want to be remembered? As Kylo Ren or Ben Solo?”

His heart skips a beat, and though the answer is loud in his mind, he doesn’t feel eager to speak it aloud.

His voice is hardly a whisper, “Ben, you can call me Ben.”

“Okay... Ben.”

They cross the street to finally reach her apartment building, and he stands awkwardly aside, pulling a Manila envelope from his jacket pocket.

“This is yours. Don’t make any decisions until you read it, you won’t like what’s inside it.”

Dread wells up in Rey’s chest as she takes the envelope from his hand. “Does this have something to do with you?”

Ben shakes his head imperceptibly, and Rey’s relief is short lived when he speaks. “It’s your parents.” His hands go straight to his pockets. “Call me if you need anything.”

Her hands shake as she holds the envelope. Ben walks away, leaving her to her own revelations.

Rey trudges up the stairs, each step heavier than the last. Her heartbeat is drumming in her ears, and even as BB purrs against her leg, all heat has left her body. Whomever her parents might have been, it doesn’t matter. Everything she has accomplished, who she is now, it’s a product of her own perseverance, her own determination to be someone beyond where she came from. _This won’t change anything, I won’t let it._ Rey smooths her hair back, opening the surprisingly light envelope. A glossy picture is folded inside, a young couple at a courthouse wedding. Their buoyant, bright faces beam with promise. She doesn’t recognize the names. A smaller polaroid has been copied, it’s the couple again, still happy but their faces gaunt and tired. A baby is on the man’s hip, smiling happily at the camera, reaching out in curiosity. _It’s me._ The thought is overwhelming, and even if the answers of a lifetime lie in her hands, she can’t bring herself to pull out the rest. The shaking in her hands is out of control, breathing becomes more difficult until she finally hits the floor, hyperventilating. She doesn’t want to be alone, she can’t be. Rose, maybe Rose can come over. What would she make of this? A few more minutes go by, she tries to calm the clambering beating of her heart, but it feels like her chest might cave in on itself. Her head pounds every miserable heartbeat loudly in her ears.

Many more minutes pass by, her fingers hovering over Rose’s number. It feels like an out of body experience as she thumbs through her contacts and dials Ben’s number instead. It rings twice before she hears his concerned voice. “Rey?”

She’s quiet, trying to even her breath and find her voice. “Have you read it?”

There’s a short pause. “Yes.”

“Come back.” She doesn’t wait for his reply, and simply hangs up, afraid to choke up on the phone. He did tell her to call if she needed anything, well she needs him. She needs him and doesn’t want to deny it to herself right now.

Ben is only a few blocks down the road when she hangs up, and he sprints back to her apartment building. He catches his breath as he presses her call button. When she buzzes him in, he takes the stairs two at a time and his heart breaks all over again when she opens the door, eyes lined with tears, red faced and miserable. 

Her tea kettle is already whistling, the high pitched sound invading her small apartment space. He follows her in, and sees the disarray her apartment is in.

Her plants are withering, drooping against the windowsills. There’s a slightly stale smell in the air, as if the place has laid undisturbed for days. The homey, lived in feeling of her place is gone, replaced by a cold unfeeling emptiness. _I did this to her._ “Have you read it?” He repeats her own question back.

“No.” She looks sallow and sad. Trepidation rocks her as she reaches for the envelope once more. “I don’t know if I can.”

Ben grabs her hand, stilling her shaking with his own steadiness. “You can. Wait here,” he says, as he strides into her kitchen. Minutes later he emerges with a steaming cup of tea in his hands, and sets it before her. “I won’t speak, but I’m here if you need me.”

Rey takes the remaining contents of the envelope and lays them in her lap. It’s very little. Her parents once might have had full enriching lives, but there’s no trace of it here. They were unimpressive people, children of blue collar workers. Childhood sweethearts that became pregnant with Rey when they were so young, cut themselves off from the world before anyone could know they had her. Whatever led them to their secluded, drug addled lifestyle, she’ll never find out. They disowned their old lives amidst their drug induced paranoia, deciding to provide for themselves in the wilderness. There’s witness reports of people that knew them as outsiders in the nearest town, saw them when they would frequent the grocery store, or when they needed their next fix. Nobody seemed to remember Rey. Their run down RV was hidden in a natural alcove deep in the forest, rusted over the years, their bodies encased inside, dusty and decayed over the past two decades. Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor, she can’t hate them because she’ll never know them. It’s no surprise their remains hadn’t been previously discovered, no one was looking. Her tears are careening down her face ceaselessly, her chest hiccuping in protest as she struggles to breathe through the sobs.

A warm, heavy hand soothingly strokes her back and she slowly focuses her eyes upon him.

“They were nobody.” She swallows a hiccup painfully, trying to staunch her tears as they continue to flow. “They were nothing. I’m nothing.”

Ben wipes a falling tear from her cheek, “Not to me.”

He takes her into his arms, and she lets him comfort her. Despite her convictions, despite her best judgement, she nestles into his chest, letting her sobs die down until she tires out, falling soundly asleep. Ben watches as the wracking sobs settle, the heaving in her chest evening out until she’s exhausted beyond coherence. He’s fortunate to be here for her, he knows that. Even with this small step forward, this feels wrong, like he should protect her from himself. 

Carrying her into her bedroom, he softly lays her down her in her bed, carefully laying the covers over her as she begins to stir.

“Ky— Ben.” She catches herself.

“You’re not beholden to me, Rey. I wanted you to know the truth before you decided to help me. The choice is and always will be yours, but this way, Snoke holds nothing over you.” He kisses her cheek, finding it a challenge to pull away. “I’ll be in the living room in case you need me, but I’ll be gone in the morning.” He’d hate to force her hand with an awkward confrontation, but he can’t bring himself to leave her alone just yet. Taking her face in his hand gently, he’s surprised as her hand rises to rest over his.

“Don’t go.” There’s no pleading in her voice, simply an understanding that they both gravitate toward one another, and a need for silent solace at a time like this. “Sleep here,” she gestures to the other side of the bed behind her. “Don’t leave in the morning.”

She doesn’t say anything else, doesn’t turn over to him as he settles in beside her, and despite their distance, it feels like he’s coming home.

Early morning creeps through. Her eyes feel heavy, puffed up during the night. Her mouth is dry and she’s got to use the restroom. Rey stretches her hands out, finding firm skin beneath them. Hungry eyes rake from his chest up to his face, where he’s peacefully snoozing, mouth slightly agape as he breathes deeply, their legs entangled sometime in the night. She must’ve turned over in her sleep, or he grabbed her while they slept. Both options feel possible and accurate. 

She’s assessing how to get out of bed without him noticing their positions when a small jolt passes through her as he groans, entangling their bodies further as he holds her closer, her head tucking just under his chin. It takes everything not to stir him awake as her body tells her stay still while her mind screams at her to move. Still, she can’t help but lean into the moment, slipping back into a deep sleep until she wakes once more, leaping from bed to use the restroom, not sparing a single look behind her.

Ben opens his eyes slowly as Rey’s movements jerk him awake. His eyes are fully alert just in time to see her slam the bathroom door behind her. Maybe he shouldn’t have stayed, maybe she just wasn’t ready. Hurriedly, he gathers his clothes and shoes, ready to bolt from her apartment once more when she emerges from the bathroom. Her eyes are wild yet tired, her chest is heaving with paralyzing breaths.

“I’m scared,” she whispers.

“Scared of me?” _She has every right to be._

“No”

His eyes snap up to meet hers.

“You need my help and I want to give it to you... despite everything.” She raises her shoulders to stand straight. “I’m scared of what happens once it’s done.”

It takes less than three strides before he’s standing in front of her, brushing stray hairs out of her face. “You could refuse to help me, but I’ll always come back to you.” He caresses her cheek lightly and it takes all the effort in the world not to lean into it. “I’m scared of losing YOU, if I ever had you.”

Her breath catches in her throat, speechless and surprised by his admission. She stutters, trying to thread two words together. “I— I thought you, you...’ Gibberish spills out of her mouth before she huffs out air trying to balance her brain. “You don’t need lie to me.”

“I never have and I never will.” His gaze hardens as he stares into her eyes. “You have no reason to trust me again. But I’d rather try and fail on my own than have you think I’m only using you.” His heart thumps loudly in the silence, she’s watching him, thinking something over.

She grabs at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. The fragrance of his skin smells like home, and her heart pangs at the thought of it still. She decides to trust her heart, in spite of the confusion clouding her mind. Desire threatens to overwhelm her yet a wave of calm crashes over her as he squeezes her in his arms, burying his face in her neck, breathing her in as if he never would again.

They crumple without breaking their embrace, before long their hands start roaming like they have minds of their own. Unbridled enthusiasm has them writhing in each other’s arms until their lips meet. Whatever force was holding them back explodes as they crash against one another. The blood is rushing to Ben’s head and he can only wonder what he did to deserve her affection. He could live in this moment, or spend the rest of his life trying to relive it with her. As if he’s spoken too soon, Rey pulls away suddenly. Her swollen lips are parted, her firm hand on his chest distances them.

“I can’t do this.” She utters under her breath. _Not yet. Not like this._ Sitting on the edge of her bed, she looks at a worried Ben still sitting on the floor.

“Rey, I’m sorry.” He comes closer, placing a cautious hand on her knee.

“You’re not sorry, and neither am I.” She gives him a small smile and traces her finger across his lips slowly. “You ran all the way here when I called, like you already knew what I needed.”

He notices the small quiver of her lip, she tries to contain it but he’s already memorized the smooth lines of her lips, so he answers. “I do. I think I lo—“

“Excuse me a moment,” she says, patting his hand hurriedly before getting up and leaving the room in a rush. When she reaches the kitchen, she puts the kettle on to boil, hoping a nice cup of tea might ease her panic.

She’ll be careful this time. If he loves her... jesus, was he about to say he loves her? Her heart started hammering when he nearly said it. If she dares to think about it, the feelings bubble up in her chest. It’s unavoidable, she can trace it from the crown of her head down between her breasts until it settles like lead at her feet. She loves him. It fills her body completely, and she can’t give it free rein.

His hand comes to rest on her shoulder, snatching her away from her thoughts with his smooth voice. “What is it?” When she faces him, he’s in his dark suit again with the tie missing, his collar undone.

She scrambles for a way to interpret her feelings calmly, but his touch is distracting. Taking his hand off her shoulder, she almost smiles at the softened look in his eyes.

“I don’t know what I’m feeling. I just need some space to breathe. To—” The kettle begins to whistle loudly and she slams it onto another burner more forcefully than she intended. “To think, to trust myself.”

“If that’s what you need. I can do that.” He sighs, stepping forward, raising a hand to touch a strand of her hair when she stops him.

“You don’t want me to touch you?” Disappointment is clear in his voice.

“I didn’t say that,” she says with lightness in her voice. “But you’ll know when the time’s right.”

It’s incredibly hard for him to keep his smirk at bay as he nods. “You’re the boss.”

“Okay then,” she says, shoving him out toward the living room.

Their tea is accompanied by a few tea biscuits. Ben’s willing to bet it’s the only food in the house. Looking at her face, it’s evident she’s been as miserable as him. He knows because he’s hardly been able to eat since the last time he saw her, except he’s the cause of her misery. She doesn’t deserve the pain and yet she’s still here for him. She’s the only one who has ever given him the benefit of the doubt. He faces her, taking in the sunken look on her face, the dark circles beneath her eyes and wanting better for her.

“You haven’t been taking care of yourself, Rey. Have you eaten lately?” He means well, and it sounds dumb coming out of his mouth. But it’s s too late.

She’s a little taken aback by his statement, almost a little angry that he would bring it up. “I haven’t been very hungry. I’m sure you know why.” She gives him a long hard look, “And yet, you look fine.”

“I’m not.” He deserves her anger, but she has to know he’s been miserable without her. “I’ve been drowning without you. Can we just go get some breakfast? We could both use it, and I don’t wanna fight.”

She can feel her sudden flash of aggression dissipating and she heads to her bedroom. “Better get ready.”

Her door slams shut and Ben is left alone with his overwhelming guilt. There’s nothing good that can come from her being around him, and he can’t stay away. He can’t badger her, she’s got more things to deal with than her feelings for him. She hasn’t even processed the truth of her parent’s demise, her own identity, everything. Selfishness would be an understatement if he pushed her into anything now, even out of concern.No, he can wait. He’d hover around her forever like an aimless moon if it meant being near her. _Whatever she wants, I’ll give her. If she doesn’t want me-_ His train of thought stops there. He’ll have to just accept it, he knows but there’s no reason to resign himself to that fate just yet. No, for now, he’ll love her like he’ll always have her.

Rey brushes her hair frantically, the bristles catching every single tangle. She feels so hot and so cold. Her emotions are flying so high, only to drop her low. Her heart is completely broken, maybe her parents didn’t throw her away like Unckar said, but the truth of it all isn’t much better. They didn’t care for her, or for themselves, instead surrendering themselves to a life of addiction. And now Ben is throwing himself at her, or did she throw herself at him? It’s all confusing her even further. He knows her better than anyone ever could but that’s not a good enough reason to entrust her heart to him so fast. All she can do is take this one day at a time, help Ben and her out of the mess they’ve put themselves in and if she survives this... well then she’ll have plenty of time to worry about the rest. When she looks in the mirror again, she notices the hollow look that Ben must’ve spotted. It’s telltale in the sharpness of her cheekbones, the purple shade under her eyes. It almost makes her sad, but suddenly anger overwhelms her emotions. She’s angry at her circumstances, at everyone she’s ever known. The feeling burns through her before she notices her staticky hair, clinging to her face in the mirror. Burying her face in her hands, she gives up. After a quick splash to the face, accompanied by an even faster brushing of her teeth, she runs to her closet. She can’t focus on her emotions, she has to trust her instincts today. Today, there’s bigger problems to deal with.

When she comes out, the bright morning sun shines behind her illuminating the small buns atop her head. She’s wearing sleek jeans with a short sleeved button up floral shirt. She looks like a goddess even if the smile plastered on her face doesn’t reach her eyes; Ben’s breath is still taken away.

“I know where we should go.” She says, before going back in the kitchen. The telltale sound of food being poured into a bowl follows her footsteps. “Bye bye, BB.” She plants a sweet kiss muffled by her cat’s fur before coming back out to grab her bag. “Let’s go,“ she says, not looking back to see if Ben is following. When she steps through the threshold, he’s on her heels as she turns to lock the door, bounding down the stairs quicker than she really needs to. She needs to slow down, there’s an underlying adrenaline in her veins just waiting to be released, she feels it in the heavy pumping of her heart. Suppressing her emotions feels wrong, but she doesn’t feel like she has any other choice.

They’re sitting in a small diner, waiting for their food to be deliver. Rey has had two cups of coffee, and all they have managed is small talk, dancing around each other politely. It feels like there’s so little to say, everything between them is important.

“What’s going through your mind?” He’s afraid to ask but the silence is killing him.

“I’m wondering what your plan is. Where are we going after this, to meet with your mother?” He nods just slightly. “We’re coming clean?” She blows on her hot coffee, waiting for his answer.

“I went to see them, we’ve talked about it. Not in detail. They know I’ve done something terrible,” he thinks his next words over carefully, “and that I know someone who can fix it. They don’t need to know you’re involved.”

Rey scoffs loudly. “And why do they think I’m helping you? You want me to lie to your family about what I’ve done while you take the blame?”

“We don’t have to lie.” _I told them everything, except how much I love you._

“But you’re going to continue to keep secrets? I guess Kylo Ren’s sticking around for a while longer.” Her insult lands, and she immediately regrets it as she hears herself say it.

When he doesn’t respond, Rey simply stirs her coffee silently, letting him brood over it.

They tuck into their food and Reys demeanor completely changes. She moans with every bite she takes and Ben begins to wonder if she’s doing it on purpose. But he lets her enjoy herself instead, happy that she’s feeling a little more relaxed.

The bill comes and Rey swipes it away, stashing it in her armpit while she looks for her wallet.

“Rey, give that to me.” His voice is edged with an annoyance he hasn’t directed at Rey in a long time.

She takes his outstretched hand between hers, and the tension in his face is instantly gone. Ever so softly, Rey whispers, her eyes extending an apology. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry,”

“I’ve heard worse, Rey.” He’s ready to get over it at her soft display of emotion, a sudden change from her earlier feistier attitude.

”I shouldn’t say hurtful things I don’t mean, especially if they’re not true.” Looking down at his hand, she caresses her thumb across his wide palm, hardly paying attention as his other hand shoots forward to snatch the bill from under her arm. Rey reaches out to snatch it back but he is too fast.

He passes his card and the check to the server as he passes by. “You shouldn’t but don’t apologize until you’ve met my family. THAT will be punishment enough.” He smirks at her, teasing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> I was trying a tech theme for my chapter names. It’s harder than I thought, feels like I’m running out of ideas. Hopefully I have a few more hidden somewhere in my brain. 
> 
> Feel free to point out any typos, they drive me crazy.


	11. Frayed Transmissions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey’s chickens come to roost when they talk to Leia.

Realization begins to dawn on Rey, looking out the car window as they wind through surface streets until they’re out of the city. She has no clue what she’s going to say when she meets Leia Organa, the woman she’s surveilled for the better part of a month, the woman whose entire livelihood she’s put at risk for longer. And for what? For money? She rubs her temples with her fingers. No, that’s not why she did it. She’d forgotten about her parents already, thinking of them just twists her further inside. There’s no point thinking about them, nothing has changed for her. Even as they get closer, her emotions roil inside, threatening to gag her. Ben wants to shield her from his parent’s judgement, considering his relationship with them, she knows he means well. It doesn’t sit well with her.

She turns away from the window, Ben’s jaw is clenched, and he’s gripping the steering wheel tight with one hand. He’s watching the road, but she can tell he’s lost in thought. This will be hard for them both.

“I want them to know we both did this,” whatever thought he was having fades with her words as he glances toward her. “For our own reasons.”

“Thank you,” he sighs softly, a small weight being lifted with the thick atmosphere of their joint brooding. “Anything else?”

“Does Snoke know you gave me the file?”

The questions catches him off guard. “No, he wanted me to do something else about that.”

She stares at him expectantly, “Well?” She loathes having things kept from her, he should give her the courtesy of the truth by now. But apparently that’s still out of their reach.

“He wanted me to tell you that your parents are alive,” he falters, “that they’re excited to meet you.”

“You’ve got to be shitting me! Why haven’t you said anything about that?” She’s practically shouting, and it breaks a restraint built up inside him.

“What did you want me to do, Rey!? Tell you this to rub salt in your wounds?” He’s huffing with exasperation. “We’ve got more important things to worry about.”

“This is important,” Rey hisses between her teeth. “Snoke needs to think that you’ve done as he asked you to do. How else are we going to get out this fucking mess?”

“I’ve got it handled. Okay?” Ben’s voice has a sharp finality to it.

Rey crosses her arms, shaking her head as her hotheadedness slowly subsides. “You don’t got this. We have to be a team. Understand? We are equals in this. Tell Snoke that I want to meet my parents before the job is over.”

Their eyes meet momentarily, Ben continues driving. “That’s a good idea actually, I told him you were getting impatient. That you didn’t believe I had any real feelings for you.”

“It’s better if we don’t talk about our feelings or what you’ve said to Snoke about us,” despite the tension between them, Rey loosens up, uncrossing her legs as she turns her face back towards the window. “Just don’t keep things from me.”

He watches her out of the corner of his eye for the rest of the drive, unsure of where they’re headed from here.

The houses get bigger, lawns become more immaculate and the driveways get longer as they continue down the road. Rey can’t think of a single time in her life when she’s seen such extravagance outside of tv. It seems unfair so few people in the world get so much. She experiences a brief reprieve from her guilt as she thinks of the kind of people that must inhabits mansions like these. She doesn’t care to be like them, even if if she was one of those that went without. 

“I can’t imagine living like this,” she whispers, her brow is furrowed.

Behind her Ben’s low voice responds. “It’s not that great.”

“What’s not great about it?” Her tone is sour. “Having shelter, food... or security?”

He can’t fault her that point of view. “You might be right but lacking for nothing doesn’t do away with all your problems.”

“It definitely makes it easier.”

“It does,” he acquiesces as he turns down a driveway smaller than the rest but grand in its own way.

Her heartbeat quickens as they pull up close to the door and it opens to reveal a petite woman, dressed in comfortable clothes but looking as regal as the pictures she’s seen of her. Leia, she’s greeting them herself. Rey hadn’t expected that.

Ben gets out before she even has her seatbelt off and he’s at her side opening the car door, reaching down with a helping hand. She takes it, not wanting to be rude without reason. Grabbing the bag off her shoulder, he leads them both up the stairs where Leia is waiting with an easy natural poise.

“I did try to raise him to be a gentleman, I’m glad to see he hasn’t forgotten his manners.” She shakes Rey’s hand with a surprisingly firm grip. “Leia Organa-Solo.”

“Rey Niima,” Rey says animatedly, not wanting to seem as meek or overwhelmed as she feels inside.

Leia just smiles warmly at her before reaching up to plant a quick kiss on Ben’s cheek. “Hi, son.”

Ben mutters tersely, accepting the affection he’s not used to. “Mother.”

Leia just sighs delightfully and turns back to the grand entrance. “He doesn’t like that but he’ll get used to it. Come on in,” she says, steering them toward the den.

They glance at one another and Ben gives Rey a look that she can see right through, he’s terrified, even if he’d never admit it.

When they walk in, the den is warm and inviting. Rey’s eye is drawn to the beautiful stone fireplace and she imagines how comforting it would be to sit before it with a book and a cup of tea, much like the man sitting there, folding his newspaper when he spots them.

“Ben,” he says with a deep enthusiastic voice as he slaps his son on the back. The gesture seems to relax Ben and she recalls the night he told her he wanted to be a pilot growing up, just like his father. And here he is in front of her, the man Ben idolized for so long.

The sight of the three of them together is enough to tug at Rey’s heartstrings, she knows there’s broken hearts being mended here. Small gestures that could maybe hope to mean something more and that’s why they’re here, she understands now how important this is. She’s here so Ben can have his family back.

“I’m Rey,” says holding her hand out toward Han, who shifts his eyes smoothly between her and Ben.

“Rey.” He takes grips her hand, clapping his other one over it. “I’ve heard about you, kid.”

She smiles, “So have I.”

Each of them find a seat, and Leia cuts straight to the chase, directing her questions at her son. “Are you going to tell us what’s going on?”

Suddenly it feels like there’s a ball stuck in Ben’s throat, and he swallows thickly. “You’re in the process of buying back a sizable portion of your shares. Enough to give you majority stake of Skywalker Group again, it’s taken years to get here. Snoke knows all of that.”

“And what does he plan to do?”

“It’s not just what he plans to do, it’s what WE’VE done.” Rey reaches for the bag at her feet, unzipping it to pull out a thumb drive with a shaky hand. “This is everything you’ve ever collected on Snoke, you’ll find most of it is missing from your servers.”

“What have you done?” Leia says, all the air leaving her chest.

“Rey and I hacked your system, manicured your financial reports. Assets, profit margins and revenue have all been inflated, including... executive salaries.” He lets this hang in the air ominously.

Han scoffs, “Whose salaries?”

Ben has the decency to look his mother in the eye as he tells her the truth. “Just one salary.”

Leia sighs, pinching her fingers above the bridge of her nose. Her exhale almost sounds like a disbelieving chuckle, and Han reaches out to soothingly rub her back.

“There’s more. Your security is weak but I’ve gone even further and dismantled it slowly.“ Leia has no time to process this information as Rey barrels through. “I saved all the information we erased from your servers, including any backups I could uncover, it’s something I always do when I make these type of deals. As collateral.” Rey doesn’t notice as Ben turns to look at her, impressed with her assertiveness. “I assure you we can reverse all the changes we’ve made but we’ll be on a tight schedule.”

“Your deal is set to go through in less than a month.” Ben speaks up. “I estimate we have less than a week and a half to pull it off before Snoke makes his move.”

Leia puts up one finger, and stands rubbing her temples, silently walking out of the room. Han whistles low, before following his wife. “You’ve really stepped in it, kid.” His voice echoes with his receding steps.

Rey looks over at Ben, who is wringing his hands with a remorseful look on his face. She reaches for his clasped hands, quieting his movement. When he finally looks at her, she speaks soothingly. “It’s perfectly normal for her to be upset. Let’s just give her a minute.”

She’s right, he knows, clasping Rey’s hand in his grounds him. His mother just needs a moment before diving headfirst into a monumental problem. Distantly he can hear them chattering. It reminds him of a time when his parents would argue about him, despite being within earshot. He shakes the thought from his head, perhaps he didn’t deserve it then but the occasion certainly calls for it.

It takes fewer than five minutes before Leia is back through the threshold, Han following swiftly behind her. She notices Rey’s hand pulling back from Ben’s when she enters and smiles inwardly.

“Here’s what we do.” She immediately springs into action. “I have a small team of people I can trust, ones willing to take directions from you if you instruct them on what to do to undo the damage caused... we might be able to pull this off.” Her eyes never leave Rey’s and she’s firm about what will need to happen, complete cooperation.

“You and I,” she says, turning her gaze towards Ben. “We will make sure Snoke falls, once and for all.”

“We will.” With that, Kylo excuses himself to make an urgent call, promising to return shortly.

“Rey,” Leia says authoritatively, “was it easy hacking into our system?”

“Unfortunately, yes.” Rey admits, “but there’s so much I can do to upgrade your operation. I’ll make sure it all gets done, free of charge. After all, I’m the one that’s caused all this trouble.”

At that Leia perks up a bit, smiling sympathetically at Rey. “Thank you, dear, but if it hadn’t been you Snoke would’ve found someone else to do the dirty work for him. Everyone has to live with their own mistakes, what’s important here is you can still fix yours.”

“Then I better get started.” The earnest smile on Rey’s face takes Leia aback, and she’d be a fool not to realize the change in her son has much to do with that smile.

“Well I’m sure Poe and Finn will get along with you just fine.” With Leia’s words, Rey freezes in place.

“Poe Dameron..?” She swallows thickly. “And Finn Storm?”

“That’s right.” Leia assures. “Do you know them?” Rey simply nods in answer.

“I’m about to call them, I know they can be here within the hour.” Leia turns her back to Rey, not glancing back as she heads to the kitchen to make her call.

Rey rushes out, searching for Ben, if only to speak to someone she knows. It feels weird to walk aimlessly through the house of someone she hardly knows but she’s panicked. She finds him in a bedroom on the second floor, facing out the window. It’s sparsely decorated. Old posters still hang, the only marker that a teenage boy once inhabited this space. She leans in closer to a bookcase filled with trophies and pictures of Ben with family, none of him with friends. She didn’t notice any pictures of Ben elsewhere in the house, maybe it felt safer to have it all tucked away in more personal spaces. She can’t help but think that perhaps, over time, they will resurface.

She turns to see Ben has turned to watch her as he continues to speak on the phone, she mouths I’ll wait,” and turns to walk out the door when he grabs her hand, a concentrated look on his face. “That won’t work. She’s fed up with me, well-mannered enough to be polite but you know what she wants. She EXPECTS to meet them soon.” He says with a tone of finality, as if she were the one setting the ultimatum.

Rey can hear the gravelly rumble of a man’s voice on the line, but Ben doesn’t give a single thing away when Snoke speaks. “Tell her two weeks from now, when I expect her to be completely done with her work. I’ll send her the details myself.” The line clicks, and Ben lets out a huff of air.

“Two weeks,” he squeezes her hand tight. “The old fool can never let anyone have the last laugh so he’ll make you wait two weeks before you can meet your parents.”

“So one and a half weeks is probably about right. Just like you said.” Eyes downcast to the floor, Rey doesn’t feel too comforted by that fact.

Ben confirms what she already knows. “Nobody but us has to know about it. He’ll contact you.”

She nods back wordlessly. The idea of dealing with Snoke makes her uneasy, but it remains low on her list of priorities. She remembers why she came up to find Ben. “Leia is, uh, calling Poe Dameron. He and Finn will probably show up in the next hour or so. ” She fiddles nervously, wringing a paper between her hands and remembering her first and only encounter with Dameron, the nasty way they behaved toward one another over Ben.

“How did the two of you end up meeting?” Ben’s voice is soothing, his thumb caresses hers, but she pulls away slowly. The light sting of her rejection is brief when he sees how worry clouds her face, and yet she remains silent. “Was it because of Rose.. and Finn?”

“I-I thought I was meeting her alone. She’s been worried about me.” The sound of her hand smacking Poe’s face is still clear in her mind, and the mounting guilt weighs heavily on her shoulders with their impending encounter. Immersed in her own thoughts, she doesn’t notice Ben studying her carefully, as if he could read every single one of her emotions. 

”What happened?” He says under his breath.

She sputters, he knows something is up. This is the perfect opportunity. He’s bound to find out, so why not tell him now? It’s not that crazy that she would stand up for him. This shouldn’t feel this hard. Why does she feel the blush of embarrassment already creeping up her chest? Sure, Dameron deserved it but was she right to get so worked up? She can’t bring herself to say it; the words simply do not come out. She just wants to work, wants this to be over.

”Nothing happened,” she feints quickly. “I’ve got to go get set up and I should probably call Rose. She needs to hear from me first before... before anyone else” She exits the room abruptly, heading back downstairs to start working, which may perhaps be the only thing she knows how not to fuck up.

Rose’s phone goes straight to voicemail, and she hurries to leave an urgent and vague message. “I really need to talk to you, please call me. Love you.” Maybe she sounds desperate but she is.

Ben keeps reminding himself that Rey has been through more than one traumatic discovery lately. It shouldn’t bother him when she swings from one of the emotional spectrum to the other, she dealt with him in worse moods when they first met. He only wishes he wasn’t asking more of her now, adding to her laundry list of obstacles to overcome. When he finally heads back downstairs, he finds Leia and Rey in the dining room, huddled near the computer screen as Rey explains to his mother where she plans to start her work, after a very short run down of what they did in the first place.

“This is very impressive. I know my way around the computer but this is advanced. You taught yourself to do all this?” Leia muses.

Rey laughs genuinely. “Oh no, no. I went to school for it.”

“She’s being modest,” Ben says lingering near the doorway, “She knew most of it before that.”

Rey rolls her eyes, smiling. “I guess you would know that.” The tone is almost flirtatious but Rey catches herself and just shakes her head at Leia. “It’s always been an interest of mine.”

“It’s impressive nonetheless, dear.” Leia says matter of factly.

“Thank you,” Rey accepts the praise before darting her eyes back to her screen quickly. Leia knows how to take a subtle hint and smiles at the girl.

“Right, we need to get to work.” Leia sits back to look at her son, Ben still hasn’t taken his eyes off of Rey whose sole focus is back on her screen. She could recognize that lovelorn look on any man, but seeing it on her son’s face is unbelievable. He’s always had the biggest heart, even if he’d hate to admit it. “Poe will be here soon, and he’ll bring help. I believe we are on the clock, son.”

Ben’s face immediately falls at the mention of that name. Something Leia does not miss. “Now, I know you don’t like each other very much. But I simply do not care. You’re both grown men and I have bigger problems to deal with.”

“Fine,” Ben grumbles as he pulls up a chair at the table. “Snoke will definitely be ready to strike in two week’s time, and if I know him at all, he’ll do it much sooner than that.”

“What is he waiting for?” Leia asks.

“Me.” Rey offers, without looking up. “I have to gather all your evidence up to the day. What’s the point of covering his tracks if I leave something behind? He’s given me an ultimatum; I have to have it all in two weeks or else. He doesn’t trust me.”

“Or else what?”

Rey’s gaze flickers to Ben’s, and the warm amber brown of his eyes comforts her, knowing she could just keep her secrets if she truly wanted and he would support her. Still, it seems better to tell Leia now before anyone else arrives.

“I’m an orphan,” Rey says quietly, “and he found my parents for me.”

“What will happen if we get caught? Will he harm them?” Leia is asking Ben, who has come to be the expert on Snoke’s macabre behavior, but he knows Rey should be the one to answer.

“They’ve been dead a long time, but he wants me to think I’ll be meeting them soon.” Rey continues typing and says nothing else.

Leia murmurs sadly. “Oh Rey, I’m so sorry.”

She glances at the older woman, expecting to see pity darkening her eyes, and instead she finds compassion burning brightly. For the first time in a long time, Rey knows what she’s doing is right “We’ll make the bastard pay.”

“That’s the kind of hope we need!” Leia’s voice is optimistic, and then the doorbell rings. “That’s probably them!”

A sheen settles uneasily over Rey’s forehead, and hearing the distant sounds of Leia answering the door does little to put her anxiety at rest. She pauses her typing and looks up to see Ben looking at her.

“Rey,” is all he manages to say.

“It’s fine.” She doesn’t know why she says it, he didn’t ask, did he?

Footsteps come closer to the kitchen, getting louder with the echo of every footfall. “We came over as soon as we could. Things would have gone quicker if I knew FINN WAS AT HIS GIRLFRIEND’S... instead of at home. So why did we have to rush over here, Leia? You were so mysterious on the phone.”

“Ben,” Rey catches his attention, speaking in a rushed whisper. “I should’ve told y-“

The swinging doors in the corner stop their screeching as Poe stands in the entrance, glaring at Kylo, a disgusted grimace on his face. “What is this?” He says quietly, “Leia. What is this!?”

Leia follows quickly behind him. “Oh stop making a fuss before I have a chance to explain what’s going on.”

“No, how can he be here and why would you come back? You’re not welcome here.” Poe is seething.

“Obviously that’s not true, since I am here.” Ben says, his arms crossed defensively to keep him from reaching forward and socking Poe in the face who’s still blocking the entrance as Finn squeezes past him.

“Rey? What’s going on?” He’s confused by her presence, and Poe has barely noticed her until Finn says her name.

He grimaces at her, and she knows he remembers everything they said to each other. “I’m surprised to see you. Did you know I’d be here and you came to defend your boyfriend?”

“You’re a terrible drunk, Dameron.” Rey’s teeth are clenched, his words echoing in her head. “You may be sober right now but still a piece of shit I see.”

“Now kids, let’s put our claws away. Sit.” No one moves, and Leia does not like not being listened to “Damn it, I said sit down!”

Poe mumbles but obeys, taking a seat as far away as he can from Ben and Rey who are sitting together on the other end, Finn is somewhere in the middle, near Leia.

“I called you here because we have an urgent matter we must fix.” Leia begins calmly. “My son, Ben, is very welcome here, Poe. So please don’t let any useless opinions fall out of your mouth after what I’m about to say. Although perhaps it’s best if you two explain it,” she looks to Rey and Ben.

It’s he who takes the lead. “Snoke instructed me to tear down Skywalker Corp. after whatever tip you received led to the raid of one of his warehouses. He was worried you were tailing him too closely.”

“But there was nothing there when we arrived.” Poe says non-plussed.

“He knew you were coming, he’s always been a step ahead. But this time was too close.” Ben looks at Rey and she nods reassuringly. “He ordered me to stay away, because he knew you were investigating him. He needed to lay low, and that’s why you’ve hardly uncovered anything new in the past few months. He’s been keeping an eye on you, much closer than you know.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Poe pipes up. But it’s Finn who is processing this information a lot faster.

“Rey, are you working for Snoke?” He is quiet, incredulous even if he hardly knows her, he’s normally such a good judge of character. “Is that why the two of you were so cozy when I met Rose at the nightclub? Was it an act to spy on me? Is Rose in on it?” It’s evident his mind is spiraling and it sparks a blooming guilt in Rey.

“Oh Finn,” she can’t think of what to say to him. “No, no... no. You’ve got it all wrong. I would never dream of getting Rose involved in anything like this. It’s all so twisted, and she truly cares about you. You’ve gotta know that. She has nothing to do with my mess.”

Finn simply stares at her, so she continues. “When Ben and I met you that night, it was a complete accident. That’s why we left so suddenly, I didn’t want to expose Rose to this. She’s my best friend.”

“She deserves to know.” The line of his mouth is hard, final and silent. Rey nods in agreement and turns back to Poe.

“We’re on a tight schedule, we’ve done so much more than surveillance. We’ve made some major changes to Skywalker’s records. And with Leia’s deal going through soon, we need to act fast to reverse them or it could destroy her. We have to fix it before Snoke makes his move” Rey trails off.

“Destroy her? It wouldn’t be the first time her son has tried to destroy her or everything her family has worked for.” Poe says acidly before turning to face Leia. “This is the man you’re going to let back into your life? When the company he keeps even now is trash. Why’d you do it, Rey? Money?”

“That’s none of your business,” Ben’s voice is strained and angry. The longer Poe goes on the more his restraint gives out. “And if you even think about calling Rey names in front of me again, I’ll knock your dick in the dirt.”

Poe stands up, shoving his chair back so hard it crashes into the wall behind him. “I’m sick of this.” He walks out, and distantly slams the front door.

“Leia,” Finn says her name inquisitively, “do you want us to work with them to reverse all these changes?”

“I expect you to,” she says coolly. “You’re the heads of my security team, we’ve had a breach in security. You don’t have to like it, neither does Poe. But it will get done. Just give him some time,he’ll cool off or I’ll have to set his ass straight. For now, Rey is in charge of you. Ben, come with me.”

Rey is surprised to hear Leia, who has been nothing but warm to her, be so authoritative. It’s suddenly clear where Ben gets his intimidating presence from.

Ben gives her hand a squeeze before leaving with Leia. All of a sudden, it’s just her and Finn sitting awkwardly at this large dining room table.

She doesn’t know him well but she wants to explain, “Finn, I-“

“You know what, I think I need some air too.” He stands abruptly and leaves her there alone.

She feels herself welling up unexpectedly and just shakes it off before getting back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should have a chapter count soon. I’m thinking 15 or 16 atm.


	12. Suppressed Connection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang is work work working... and feelings happen.

In Leia’s office, Ben won’t stop shaking his leg impatiently. “Son, the point of coming in here was that we could focus on what we should do about Snoke, but your mind is out there with the girl.”

“I don’t want to leave her out there with them.” He’s going through the thumb drive Rey provided for him, furiously scrolling through the files she organized so neatly.

Leia scoffs lightly “She can take care of herself. Why else would Poe be so angry to see her too? Obviously she doesn’t take any shit.”

Ben recalls that drunken night at The Imperial Lounge, it’s almost funny now. She was so righteously angry, and so ready to save a complete stranger from him. “She knocked me on my ass the first time we met.”

A hearty chuckle escapes out of Leia. “I would have paid money to see that.”

He visibly relaxes. Leia’s right, Rey has never needed his help but to worry for her, it’s a weakness. If Snoke knew how he felt, he’d take it all away to see Ben miserable. And that’s when it comes to him. The only way to catch him slipping is to make him feel like he’s already won. “He has to think he’s won. Snoke’s greatest motivation is to wipe out Skywalker Corp, our entire family. Why is that?” Ben asks sincerely.

“He never told you?” Leia stops what she’s doing, surprised. “I thought he made you his right hand man.”

“Besides to make me suffer? No. I realize now, a little too late, that he was just using me. Keeping his enemy as close as possible. His only excuse was that you were always trailing him, and he always made me take care of it. To take care of his trail, and mine and a few others. He always knew you were watching.” Ben looks up, and his mother is looking at him with soft eyes.

“It was never too late for you.” She sighs, “Snoke was scrounging for funding to start his atrocious company for a long time. He was born in poverty, clawed his way up on the streets. Rising to the top behind the scenes, in the shadows. I’m sure he’s crossed the wrong people before if his face has anything to do with it.” She walks around the desk, taking the other chair next to Ben. “He met my father, Anakin Skywalker when they were both young. My father had money, connections to people on the city council. People Snoke wanted on his side, people he needed to bribe. He tried to persuade him to join his venture, and he nearly convinced my father that his business was legitimate. But he wasn’t that easily fooled, so he had Snoke investigated, and found many of his contacts to be international criminals, found him harboring more than a few. He pulled his funding. Snoke was blacklisted for a long time, and he lost most of what he had worked for. He had to build up his network, grow his company before he could be trusted again. It set him back.” She folds her hands in her lap, “Snoke never got over that, and his bitter heart held on to it. It wasn’t long before people forgot about it all, and he was able to buy favors and turned cheeks. Once he took you from me, I knew I had to do my best to uncover his reach. To make sure he was thwarted in whatever capacity possible. But it’s been difficult.”

There’s a tear rolling down her cheek and Ben is touched by her honesty.

“He first approached me when I was 13.” Ben mutters, “Said he was a long lost family friend, said he understood me. He visited at boarding school throughout the years, he always showed up with some strange piece of wisdom and and odd present. Showing me kindness” He halfheartedly shrugs, trying to shake the sensation of being followed like he felt then. “When I came back from college, he made sure to see me. I was older, and his words became harsher, and his cold treatment became something I felt I must have deserved. He would teach me everything he knew about business, always in my ear about making the right moves, and trusting the right people. I was just your blind spot, that’s all he saw in me. He had already isolated me from everyone I knew.”

Leia gasps, and grasps his hand in hers. “Benny, I never knew.”

“I never told you,” he rubs his eyes, trying to wipe his own tears away. “I was a dumb kid who wanted to feel important. I’m so sorry, mom.”

“No, I’m sorry. I should’ve been there, you should’ve been able to trust me.” Her voice is emotional, so unlike the woman he’s pictured her as for so long. “That monster should never have gotten so close to you. That’s our shortcoming, mine and Han’s, as your parents. It wasn’t your fault. I’m just so happy you came home.”

He rises to hug her, his mother, the only one he’ll ever have. She feels so small in her arms, when he was young, she seemed like a giant. “Me too.”

In the dining room, Rey is typing away, split between two screens. Slowly changing figures as her charges are who knows where, probably shit talking her. Not that she doesn’t deserve it but Poe has little room to talk. She doesn’t regret smacking him across the face but she would never have done it if she knew she’d end up here.

Just then, Poe and Finn walk back through the back door.

“Ready to get started?” Rey’s eyes don’t leave her screen. She’s finishing up some key strokes and stops when they stay quiet. She can see them glaring in her periphery. Digging a few more thumb drives she prepared this morning from her bag, she leans forward to place them on the table before them both. Their glare is unflinching, and she could just care less. It’s not even lunch and she’s bone tired. “Your work will be split into quarterlies, I’ve got the batches ready here. We’re just doing data entry, but it is a lot of it. We’re going to work our way back from the present time. Just log on to the system, I assume you have full clearance to the financials. If not, I will give it to you. Questions?”

Not a sound from either man. “Okay,” she resumes her entries, trying to forget they are in the same room. Finn just gets to work; Poe scoffs and snatches the thumb, setting up at the other end of the table, opposite Rey. Eventually there’s no noise but the clacking of keys.

By late afternoon, Ben looks at his watch. “Shit” He turns toward Leia. “Are you hungry? Rey must be starving.”

“Oh I’ll order everyone food!” Leia exclaims. “Does Rey have any allergies?”

“No,” he answers quickly. “Rey will eat anything. Just get something sweet too.” He turns back to his work. He advised Leia to keep all the information they absconded from her system on a separate server. Snoke had mentioned something about a possible mole in their company. It was easier to pretend it was a fact. He can only deal with one thing at a time.

“We’ll have to surrender.” Ben says point blank. Rey would know exactly how, she always seemed to know what he was thinking, always inching in on his work to see a little more, squirreling that information away for later use. He needs her, she’ll have the answer.

In the dining room, Rey is trying to ignore the rumbling in her stomach. She’s nearly done with this batch, she can take a break as soon as she finishes, maybe rush out to get some food. She can’t wait to get back home, to collapse in her bed and maybe get some rest. A migraine has been setting in for hours, slowly dwindling her energy away. She rubs her eyes, exhaustedly laying her face in her palms. Today has to end.

“So why are you doing this now?” Poe is snide. “Your boyfriend guilt you into helping him get Leia’s trust? Or is he paying you? I know Snoke must have paid you.”

“Please shut up,” it’s hard to ignore him. His voice is grating to her ears. She’d rather have the silence but he doesn’t stop.

“Or do you love him?” Poe says this incriminatingly.

She slams her laptop screen down, “I’m done with you.”

“Ohh, does that mean I’m finally getting an apology?” He’s goading her now.

“HA!” Rey cackles loudly, “Why would I do that? I wish I had done more than just slapped you.”

Finn stands up, “guys, let’s not do this.” She steps around him, staring down at Poe who glares from his seat.

“You’re a fucking jerk, and it’s none of your business why I came here.” She gasps air in, letting her truth tumble out in an exhale between her teeth. “But I do love him, so you can just go fuck yourself!” She goes to dart out the door, similar to how Poe did earlier that day but she runs face first into Ben’s chest as he and Han walk in with takeout. She closes her eyes, afraid of how much he might have heard. She can hear him calling her name as she runs.

He chases after her, finding her in the sunroom. Late afternoon is setting in, sun shining directly down on her. She’ s radiant, leaning towards the rays facing the window away from him, like a flower searching for the sun. He walks in to sit behind her, noticing her shift ever so slightly as she registers his presence. But she doesn’t turn.

“Did you mean that?” He’s quiet, the buoyancy in his chest becoming greater by the second.

“Which part?” Her voice is breathy, and low. “When I called Poe a jerk or when I told him I love you?”

“The second one,” his grip on the rattan furniture tightens, the sound of it an audible squeak.

“Yes.”

A single tear falls down her face, and she knows very well that he can’t reciprocate, she expects it in her soul. Two seconds of silence feels like two hours and she turns, ready to lash out. She’s so tired of being left behind, of being used. She charges at him, feeling so hopelessly devoted to her perceived emotions. “So what if I do love you? You’re the one who wanted this to happen! Planned for it!” He grabs her arm as she spins away to catch her heaving breath. She lands square between his legs, tugged against his chest as he sits up straight to hold her. He’s staring at her mouth, dragging his gaze away to look her in the eyes.

All he says is, “No.” It sends a tingle down her spine but she’s trying not to focus on the weight of his eyes on her, what it feels to have him come undone beneath her, as if it’s not what she’s been craving for days.

“I could have never planned a single moment with you.” Ben’s hands come to raise her chin up to softly press his lips to hers. His soft sweet girl, ready for the worst of any reality. They’ve wormed their way into each other’s hearts. “I have loved you for some time now. Maybe since the day I met you.”

She presses into him, smashing her lips against his own as she melts into his frame. She wants to believe his words, but she’s feeling frantic. Wanting to trace his skin with her eager hands, to have him scorch a path across hers. As if reading her mind, she feels his hands roam between her thighs as she opens her legs so he can cup her fully. She writes against him, his other arm wraps around her, his hand kneading her breast freely, her bralette is a useless barrier between them. He slowly undoes the front of her jeans and her head lolls back as he slips a hand down, to find her already wet. Slipping a finger and then two into her as he uses his thumb to slowly massage her clit. The squelch of her pussy is joined in by her moans which become louder and louder as he increases the pressure of his hand, edging her closer to the release he wants for her, taking in a slow pleasure at the sight before him. He wants to swallow every moan with a kiss. Her body is vibrating, and she pulses around him, building her pleasure up with every stroke. When she finally comes, it’s loud, like she was holding it in all day, just for him. He pulls his hand from her, licking his three fingers before kissing her on the lips.

“I do love you, Ben.” The smile on her face is one of satisfaction, of unabashed adoration. “I love you.” She can admit it now, it hurts so much more to run from it.

“I love you too, sweetheart.” He kisses her softly, and she opens up a little further to him. He’s still hard beneath her and she slips a hand between them to stroke him through his pants. He groans loudly as a loud knock comes from the glass window behind them.

“If you’re done in there, come and get some food before it’s all gone.” Han’s face is unamused, and smug all at once. “We’re all waiting on the other side of these very thin walls.” He walks away, chuckling at his own joke.

Rey buries her face in Ben’s shirt, embarrassed that she forgot where she was, who was nearby. The man before her just crumbles all her defenses, but from the blush blooming in his cheeks, the same is true for him.

“Well, that is embarrassing.” Rey gets up to rearrange herself, smiling sheepishly at being caught.

Ben’s hard on deflated instantly from shame. He’s pouting a little. “Maybe we can just leave?” He’s not being serious but Rey can’t help but laugh. She grabs his hand, there’s no way she’s going in there alone.

They walk back into the kitchen, Finn is chatting with Leia about Rose, and at that Rey perks up.“Have you talked to her today?”

“Yes, I left her house this morning and that’s probably where I’ll be going when I leave here.” Finn doesn’t give her any kind of look, his face is nearly emotionless when he talks to her. But she understands the subtext in his flat tone, he’ll be talking to her tonight, probably about Rey.

“Oh I didn’t realize..” Rey titters, looking for the end of her sentence. “That you were already so close.”

She doesn’t wait for her him to respond, she hasn’t been minding Rose and he has. She shouldn’t be jealous when she’s the one who hasn’t been there for her friend, a friend who has done everything to reach out. She’ll have to end early tonight, just to talk to her before Finn has a chance to. To tell her side of the truth. Grabbing a box of take out, she munches down as she works, stopping only when Leia comes to sit beside her.

“Rey,” Leia’s voice soft, and inquiring. “I want you to know you don’t need to be embarrassed.” Rey chokes on the noodles she was chewing. If anything is more embarrassing than being caught, it is this precise moment. Behind them Ben’s ears get very red, and Han slaps a hand down on his back. “I’ve seen and heard my share of awkward moments over the years.” Rey blushes madly, and Poe snickers. “Most of them were because of Poe.” Rey bursts into laughter at that and feels a little more at ease. That’s all she needed, was to laugh about it. To have a sliver of clarity so she can get on with her life. To drop every single piece of baggage that she has picked up on this journey.

“Poe,” she fixes her gaze on the man across from her. She harbors no ill will for him, there’s none left inside her. What she was hiding was her true feelings, and Poe was just someone dumb enough to get caught in the crossfire. “I shouldn’t have slapped you. So I’m sorry.” She nods apologetically. “ I shouldn’t have done it. Even if you’re annoying”

He hums appreciatively. “Thanks, Rey. I did deserve it a little.”

“Poe isn’t really himself unless he’s annoying someone.” Finn offers up lightheartedly, breaking the ice in the room a little further as they all share a small chuckle.

All of them but Ben, who is still on the counter, a glumness settling on his face. But Rey isn’t the only one to notice.

“And I may never understand you, Solo but I know what it’s like to want to do the right thing, to wish you had done it from the beginning.” Poe shrugs as Ben turns to look at him across the room. “So prove me wrong and do the right thing.”

A shadow lifts from Ben’s eyes, just enough for the hope of a better day to glimmer through him. “Thank you,” he catches Rey’s gaze before speaking again. “I will.”

When Rose finally calls her back it’s nearly evening time. She steps out to take the call.

“Hey..”

“Rey, are you okay?” The sound of her friend’s voice breaks her down. There’s nothing to cry about, is there? But she can feel it like a dam breaking inside her.

“No,” she feels the tears welling up in her throat ready to spill into a full blown breakdown. “but can you come see me in a few hours? I need to talk to you.”

Rose’s voice is tinged with worry. “Of course, but are you okay? Are you in danger?”

“I’m okay, I just need to see you.”

When she comes back inside, she seeks out Ben who is typing away in the kitchen, chiseling away at their mountain of work. He notices immediately the redness in Rey’s eyes and nose, and he comes to stand beside her, pulling her into the hall. She sniffles lightly. “We need to go, just for today. I have to meet Rose at my apartment.” Rey doesn’t want to put this off any longer, and if she doesn’t leave now, she’ll chicken out in the hopes that Finn will do it for her later tonight. ”But I don’t want to face Leia like this.”

Ben notes the exhaustion in her eyes. “I’ll take care of everything.” He hands her his keys, “just go in the car. We’ll be gone in ten minutes.” He kisses her lightly, and watches as she walks out the front door. She’s strong, but he can see how the day has taken its toll on her, he wants to be strong for her.

When he gets out of the house, he’s loaded up with her bags and his. He packed everything, in case she didn’t feel like driving out all the way out here tomorrow. She’s clutching the steering wheel in her hands, in the driver’s seat. She glances over to Ben as he climbs into the passenger seat. “You wanna drive us back to the city?”

Her hands squeeze the wheel. She doesn’t want to spend the whole drive back agonizing over every single detail of the past few weeks. Driving is a welcome distraction. “Yes, but you can’t stay tonight. Will you come over in the morning?”

“I can come over first thing in the morning.” That’s all he can say as she peels out of the driveway.

She races down the highway as Ben watches her. Nobody stops them even though she’s driving above the speed limit. He has to admire her ability to muddle through today, to go against the torrent of emotion that he can see pounding away at her inside. When they arrive nearly an hour later she parks in front of her building, and looks over to Ben who reaches for her hand. “Rose will understand,” he kisses the palm of her. “But no matter what happens, I’m here.”

“Thank you,” her breath is heavy, and she leans forward to kiss him on the cheek. She exits the car and he comes around to slip into the driver’s seat. He grabs her gently by the arm, bringing her close to him. She inhales his scent, for comfort, for the satisfaction of having him near.

“I love you, Rey.”

There’s no doubt in her heart that’s he’s telling her the truth, “I love you too.” She raises her head, leaning in far enough for her lips to touch softly upon his.

As Ben drives away, she notices Rose on her stoop.

“Rey,” Rose’s hand is on the banister leading her up the stairs. “Did you just get home?”

“I was hoping I’d get here first,” Rey digs her keys out first, holding the door for Rose as they enter her apartment building. “Sorry if you were waiting long.”

She sees Rose shrug out of the corner of her eyes as they climb up. Rose takes a seat in the sofa chair, leaving it up to Rey to initiate the conversation. It’s unlike Rey to keep things from her. She doesn’t know what to say, she feels tongue tied and wrung out. “Was that Kylo who just left?”

“Yeah.”

“I thought things didn’t work out with him.” Rose is trying not to push her friend, but she’s annoyed with being kept in the dark. “You gonna tell me what happened?”

“Oh Rose, I don’t know where to start.” Rey huffs out the anxious breath she’s been holding. “The job I was working on. The target turned out to be his family. Skywalker Corp.”

“Skywalker...” Rose can’t place where she’s heard that name before. “Why does that sound familiar?”

“That’s where Finn and Poe work. That’s why I’ve been staying away from you, I didn’t want to complicate your life with my bullshit.” Rose still looks confused, eyebrows scrunched together, so Rey continues. “I’ve been surveilling Finn and Poe for a while now, and when you met him, it made things difficult. It seemed easier this way.”

“You shouldn’t have chosen for me, Rey.” Rose is calm, but her words have an edge to them that Rey knows is justified.

“I didn’t want to put you in an awkward position.” Rose goes to protest but Rey holds up a hand. She just wants to get it all out. “Let me just tell you everything, and if you still have questions at the end of it all, I’ll answer every single one.”

Rose nods her head in agreement.

So she starts from the beginning. Why Snoke hired her, and why she agreed. Rose knows that she was at the end of her rope about her parents, a golden opportunity landing in her lap like this was irresistible. And then she tells her about Kylo, about Ben. How she fell for him slowly, and how twisted their relationship felt because of Snoke. How it all came crashing down around them as both her and Ben acknowledged their feelings. Trying to explain how sensitive this matter is, how important it is that they undo everything so they can have a chance at a normal life. It all comes out in a barrage of words that she can hardly remember as they leave her. “I have to make this right, Rose. It’s the least I can do.” When she finishes, Rose is stunned. Trying to absorb all the information that Rey’s just dumped in her lap.

“But you’ll never find your parents if you do this.” Rey didn’t want to admit to herself the truth that she had only found out yesterday. Was it only yesterday? The last 24 hours have been outrageously long. She’s looking down at her hands when Rose touches her knee. “Rey, what is it?”

“My parents are dead.” Her voice is hollow. She hadn’t said it out loud yet.

“What?”

“Snoke wanted me to think they were still alive so I’d see his project through. But Ben gave me this.” Rey picks up the Manila envelope that’s on her coffee table. Rose takes it suspiciously, and pulls out the contents as Rey steps away.

She doesn’t want to see the look of pity on Rose’s face when she realizes who her friend is, where she comes from. She goes into the kitchen, filling BB’s food bowl, she can hear as Rose flips through the pages. There’s not much there, it won’t take her long to read them. When Rey comes back Rose is holding the picture of Rey as a baby with her parents. “This is you?”

“They didn’t care about me, Rose.” She takes the photo from her friend’s hands before chucking it on the pile of papers. Her tears are already falling. “They didn’t care what happened to me.”

“That’s not true,” Rose sits closer, gently cradling Rey in her arms. “Addiction is complex. I can’t say how they might have felt, but I doubt very much that they did not love you. They were victims of their own vices. This doesn’t change anything, you’re an amazing woman who happens to have a rough past. But you’re the single most wonderful person I know and nothing will ever change that.” Rey sobs quietly, clutching at her friend’s arm like a lifeline. The ache in her heart is so fresh. Like she was waiting for a home that she’ll never find. “You’ve been dealing with all of this by yourself?”

“I didn’t want to worry you.”

“Well that’s too bad because I’ve been worried anyway, silly girl.”

“I’m so sorry, Rose.” Rey wraps her arms around her, they squeeze each other tightly.

“Just don’t do it again.” They stay like that for a while, Rey reveling in the comfort of her friend’s embrace, and Rose mulling over the whirlwind of events her friend has gone through. Abruptly, she laughs and gasps loudly. “WAIT, you saw Poe today after that loud ass smack you handed him at the bar?” She can’t contain her laughter. “The both of you were so outrageous but he was asking for that one.”

Rey giggles at that. “It was very satisfying until I saw him again.”

With that they continue giggling and they fall back into their regular pattern. They stay just like that, laughing and chatting on the couch until it’s way later than either of them realized. Rey can feel a sort of normalcy returning to her life, as if this is the first piece of the puzzle finally settling down on the board. By the time she’s walking Rose to the door she can feel the weight of her secrets slowly easing up. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“I don’t know what I would do without you either.”

As soon as Rose is gone, Rey is ready to pass out in her bed when her phone rings.


End file.
